7. Daphne
Daphne
Four Months Later
Things have changed a lot since my brother returned to California.
We still talk every night, and I’ve started living my life again slowly.
I loved having him here, but I knew it was only temporary.
My brother refused to leave until he and Eli made sure to mow all the grass and cut the weeds at my place.
They fixed my roof with the help of a couple of guys from Eli’s club.
Eli even brought a new swing set to replace the old rusty one that had been in the yard.
I tried to object every time they did something.
They ignored me. I couldn’t argue that it felt good to have those things done.
It was also stuff that I didn’t have time to do, nor the money to pay for it to be done.
I hated being dependent, but I knew that pride didn’t have a place in my life right now.
So, I chose to be grateful that I had Drew and Eli in my life.
Honestly, with the exception of my father, it felt like the whole club had my back.
My brother stayed two weeks with me. Before he left, he tried to take me to a car dealer and buy me a car. I flat out refused that. Drew finally relented, but only because my new lawyer told him that anything bought before the divorce was final could be deemed as marital property.
That was the biggest change, the fact that I have a new lawyer.
He’s a lawyer that has worked with Pez’s club for years.
He doesn’t do a lot of domestic cases, but he knows the law and as far as I could tell, he’s doing much better than my previous attorney—who had too many clients and not enough time.
I would have fought the whole lawyer change harder, but the truth is I’m terrified that my husband will try and take Cammie from me.
For a while, I believed he wouldn’t because Serena was pregnant, and Dane didn’t truly like kids.
They cramped his lifestyle. He only wanted to look like the devoted family man to his firm—not be one.
Still, one thing has become clear. Dane would do anything to hurt me.
So, with that in mind, I knew I needed all the help I could get.
I can’t allow my daughter to be alone with those two evil people.
They have no care in the world for how they tear people who love them into pieces.
I don’t want them to get their hands on my innocent daughter.
I want to say that Dane would never use my daughter or harm her to get to me— but I’m not sure I believe that anymore.
Eagle is my new lawyer’s preferred name, although, in court he’s known as Mr. Jones.
He filed an emergency protection order after I told him about Dane’s threats.
Thankfully, I used a recorder on some of our phone calls.
I know Dane thinks I’m too stupid to do something like that.
The only time I’ve been stupid was when I agreed to marry him and believe his lies. He sure as hell cured me of that.
One of the biggest changes Eagle has made recently is that there is now a restraining order against Dane and Serena.
They must stay five hundred feet away from me.
He’s allowed only supervised visitation with Cammie for now.
He’s pushing to have that changed, but Eli did the strangest thing.
After I mentioned to him and Drew that Dane and his whore had dinner with the circuit judge, he somehow had the tech guy from the Devil’s Blaze to hack into the judge’s security cameras at his home.
Getting that information, he petitioned the court system for a change of judge and venue.
I wasn’t there for that hearing. It was privately held between the lawyers and the judge.
I don’t know what’s said, but my case was transferred to London, Kentucky and the judge stepped down.
Dane was irate because he called me screaming and berating me.
I taped that too and handed it to Eagle.
There will be a court date soon. I’m trying to prepare myself for that.
Eagle warned me that Drew would most likely get visitation of some sort with Cammie.
There wasn’t much I could do about it. I’ve tried to accept it, but knowing my sweet baby girl would have to spend time with her cold-hearted father and his mistress tore something inside of me.
I was helpless, and that did nothing to ease the ache inside me.
I sit on my front porch, a cup of hot chocolate in my hand to help ward off the cool October morning.
The monitor for Cammie’s room is sitting on the table beside me.
She didn’t sleep well last night, so I’d just put her down for her nap a few minutes ago.
I’m on paid leave from the bakery. It’s unusual, but Ruth—the owner—doesn’t want to lose me.
The problem is Serena has been causing issues in our small town about not being able to shop where she wants, claiming I’m a bitter woman who is mad her husband moved on after I cheated on him.
There are many times, late at night, where I’d just like to kill her.
I don’t know if I have the ability to do it, but the need to put the bitch in her place gets stronger every day.
Breath stills in my chest as I see Eli’s truck pull up into my drive.
Awareness floods my body with anticipation.
This feeling began the first time I saw Eli standing next to my brother.
It’s only grown the more time I spend with him.
There are days I’m afraid that the heat he builds inside of me will finally consume me.
I feel silly. It’s not like Eli has once been inappropriate with me.
He treats me like a friend. I try to drive that into my head, but for some reason when I look in his eyes, I feel hope for more—which is insane.
I am dealing with Dane. The scars my marriage left on me are real.
I don’t want another man. I’m not ready for it, and I may never be.
I repeat that over and over to drum it into my head.
Instead, I remember the early days with Dane.
I recall how good it felt to know someone had my back.
A man to be firm when I stood facing whatever life threw my way and let me know that I wasn’t alone.
I’d love that feeling again. Just once …
Yet, I didn’t want it with any of the men who had made passes at me since the divorce became public knowledge.
Only one ever stood in my mind. It wasn’t because he was making it clear he’d want to pursue a relationship with me either.
If anything, he was doing the opposite. He was the quiet, strong but gentle, presence in my life that never asked for anything, never demanded.
Eli was steady, and God, I needed that. Still, I wanted more from him, but I’m beginning to think he only views me as Cap’s kid sister.
I’m a duty to him–little by little that’s killing me .
Wanting more from Eli is a secret that I’m prepared to drag to my grave. I’ve had enough instability for both me and my daughter. So, I bury those feelings he causes to swirl inside me, lean back in my chair—legs kicked out over the porch rail and wait as he walks toward me.
“Hey there, Skittles.”
I roll my eyes at the silly nickname. He coined it a couple of months ago and despite my best—or maybe half-hearted—objections, he continued calling me that.
He came here one day to find me on the back deck, crying and burying my sorrows in one of those bags of Skittles that are big and meant to be shared.
It doesn’t need to be said that I wasn’t sharing it.
I ate the whole damn bag and ignored the stomachache that came with it.
“I guess I should expect a silly nickname from a guy whose club name is a sugary candy too,” I grumble. That makes him laugh harder, which is nice because Eli has a really good laugh.
“That proves that you and I are a perfect match,” he jokes. I ignore the small voice in my head that is telling me I should prove to him that we are. That way led to danger, and I can’t allow myself to go there.
“What are you doing here today?” I ask, changing the topic to a much safer one.
“I wanted to take you and Cammie out and show you something.”
“What?” I ask, my forehead curling up in confusion.
“It’s a surprise. Where is Cammie?” he asks.
“She just went down for her nap.”
“Do you think Ms. Grayson could stay with her for a couple of hours?” he asks.
Ms. Grayson was my neighbor and the sweetest woman on the planet.
She’s a widow and gets lonely. She loves her time with Cammie.
I’m going to hate moving from here. Sadly, I can’t keep this house.
To do that, I would have to pay Drew’s equity in it and even though I’m getting some of his 401-K and child support—when the divorce is final—there’s no way I could swing that.
Plus, if I’m honest, this house has bad memories for me—ones I no longer want to remember.
A new place will be better. It’s a clean slate and a new beginning.
Besides, once this place is sold, my share in the proceeds will give me enough for a good down payment on a smaller home.
I’ve been looking at a few apartments and townhomes in the area.
The yard will be next to nothing, but HOA will do the upkeep and there’s a community park next to it.
It wouldn’t be my first choice but the HOA’s are low, and the payment should be too.
If I’m very careful, I can swing it. Well, I can if I’m able to keep my job. Right now, that is kind of a big if.
“I could ask her. Will you at least tell me where we’re going?” I finally answer, looking at Eli.
“Nope,” he says stubbornly. His blue eyes are twinkling with, what I’ve come to recognize is happiness.
I cherish those moments, because even if his happiness is quiet and understated, I still like seeing it. I’m also envious of it.
“I’ll call and ask. Just a couple of hours, right?”
“Tell her three to be safe, but nothing more than that. I don’t like Cammie being without you for too long,” he adds.
That makes me smile. He worries about Cammie all the time. It’s a welcome change from her father who barely cared if she was around.
It takes about thirty minutes for Ms. Grayson to show up and then, I find myself alone in Eli’s truck with him. Conversation flows pretty easily—as it always seems to with him. I feel comfortable and even safe. It’s only when I notice he’s driving me into Corbin that I tense up.
“What are you doing, Eli?”
He frowns as he looks over at me. We’re on the old road that leads from London to Corbin, so he finds an easy place to pull over and once he throws his truck into park, he stares at me.
“What’s going on, sweetheart?” he asks, softly, like he’s talking to a frightened child.
It’s ironic because that’s exactly what I feel like right now.
“I don’t want to go to the club house, Eli.
My father doesn’t want to see me. I don’t plan on forcing my presence on him.
He turned his back on me years ago. I’ve accepted it.
I hope eventually that he will want to be a part of my daughter’s life, but if he doesn’t, then that’s his failure, not mine. ”
“Is it important to you that he be part of your daughter’s life?” he asks.
“Not for myself. It’s just my daughter deserves to have a family around her that loves her.
If he can’t do that, I’d rather he just stay away.
” Honestly, I didn’t strike gold in the parental department.
I never hear from my mother except for Cammie’s birthdays and Dad has been radio silent longer than I can remember.
If it wasn’t for my daughter, I’d prefer they both just stay away.
“I can understand that,” he says carefully.
“Once my father was a really good man, the best, Eli. I still have memories of the way he’d come in my room to read me stories and run his fingers through my hair, calling me his little princess.
I want that for my daughter. She won’t have anyone in her life that’s good but my brother who is rarely in town, you—if your wife or old lady allows it—and my father.
Lord knows she won’t have a good role model in a father who barely gives her the time of day—and that was before he knocked up his mistress. ”
“I don’t have an old lady or a wife, Daphne.”
“I know, but you will someday. It would be understandable if she asked you to stop coming around me and my daughter. Very few women would want someone she loves to hang out with another woman and her daughter—knowing our kind of relationship.”
“What kind of relationship do we have, Daphne?” he asks and my heart stutters in my chest. My palms go sweaty, and I suddenly feel like I’m walking a tightrope.
“We’re friends,” I say at once, but I know that doesn’t quite sum it up. “We enjoy spending time together. We’re close. You’re like a second brother to me. A lot of women would find that type of relationship threatening.”
“You’re on dangerous ground right now, Skittles.”
“I am? Uh … What do you mean, Eli?”
“You’re going to keep on until you bite off more than you can chew.”
“You’re speaking in riddles, Eli.”
His large hands grip his steering wheel tight as he turns to stare forward, then slowly lowers his head. “Daphne, I will never let another woman keep me from being there for you and Cammie,” he says quietly, sending a small shiver of fear down my back.
“You can’t say that. You don’t know what the future may bring,” I try to explain, even as the words put scars in my heart that I will never recover from.
“You don’t need to worry about it. I don’t want a relationship. Nora did me so bad, I fully expect to be alone the rest of my life.”
“That’s sad,” I whisper. He may not want me, but he deserves a woman in his life who will love him completely.
“Life can be sad. You and I know that firsthand. I think your parents may know that too. They’re just idiots who made their daughter suffer instead of sucking it up and being there for you.”
“We should get going. I have to get back so that Ms. Grayson can get home to watch The Family Feud. She gets very upset if she misses Steve Harvey. She’s kind of in love with him,” I explain.
“If you were planning on taking me to the club, maybe we could just turn around now. That’s probably for the best anyway.
You seem to be in a strange mood and I’m just really tired.
“I’m not taking you to the clubhouse.”
“You’re not?” I ask.
“Nope. I want to show you something that I think you’re going to like.”
“Um … okay,” I murmur, not sure of what else to say.
This weight settles in my gut. I feel like something shifted between me and Eli and whatever it is, it’s not good. The problem is, I don’t know how to fix it.
And I really wish I could.