Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY_
HAZARD
“Checkmate. I win again.” I swear Decaf is two seconds from sending the chessboard flying.
“You cheat. Just like your father.”
Is it weird I find him super attractive when he pouts? He’s like a Labubu. Trying to look fierce but is all kinds of adorable. Pouting is the opposite of his actual glare.
I laugh. “How can you cheat at chess? Also, I’m starting to think Dad never cheated. You’re just a sore loser. And now, you owe me another answer.” I tap my top lip and think about it.
The question I really want to ask is if he’s even aware his dick appears to like me or if he thinks he’s hiding it well.
Because spoiler alert, he’s not. But I don’t want to open that can of worms. We’ve finally found some kind of level ground.
He’s no longer pushing me to leave, and I’m almost convinced that’s only because it’s so goddamn boring, and without me, he’d only have Scout to entertain him.
“What more could you possibly want to know about your dad?” Decaf asks. “I think the only thing we haven’t covered is his favorite color.”
“Pfft. Like I’ll waste a question on that.
Ooh, I’ve got the perfect question for you.
” I’m sitting on his bed, his legs stretched out beside me, with the portable table like they have in hospitals between us with the chessboard on it.
I pick up my king piece and twirl it in my hands, not only to distract my hands while I build up the courage to blurt this question but to do it with the right amount of innuendo. “Top or bottom?”
I get the exact reaction I want. Shock, widened eyes, jaw dropped.
“W-what?”
“In the barracks.”
He stutters some more. “W-what a-are you actually asking?”
“Bunks, what did you think I meant?” As hard as I’m trying to play dumb, I’m pretty sure my smile gives me away. Stupid mouth not getting with the program. Then again, all of its energy is going toward refraining from saying something too inappropriate. Balance is really hard to find.
Decaf picks up one of his pawns and throws it at me. “Shithead. I thought you were asking if your dad and I were a thing again.”
“Not at all. I was fishing for something different.”
His eyes narrow.
“Whether my dad had total top energy, duh.”
Decaf covers his face with his hand.
“He did, didn’t he? He was top bunk for sure. Total opposite to me. I like being on the bottom. Always.”
“Jesus H. Christ.”
“It is so easy to make you squirm.” And I’m not even saying half the shit I want to.
“You make me squirmy.”
“I think that’s the first compliment you’ve ever given me.”
“In what world is that a compliment?”
I shouldn’t push this. I’ve already flirted with the line. I don’t want to cross it completely. Or do I? “Because I know what you mean by squirmy.” I can’t help myself, I flick my glance down to his crotch. Unfortunately, it’s covered by the damn table and chessboard, but it gets my point across.
The look of horror is quickly replaced by embarrassment as a red flush creeps up his neck. I’m this close to saying something about the blood rushing to his cheeks for once instead of his groin, but he beats me to the punch.
“It’s a side effect of the painkillers!”
“I’ve heard that about painkillers. That they increase libido. Who needs Viagra when there’s oxy?”
“Hey, I asked Scout, and he confirmed it.”
“So you won’t mind if I ask him too?”
“Uh …” He hesitates because I know Scout won’t be taking his side, but doubling down, he says, “Nope. Go ahead.”
“Sweet. I’m gonna go find him. Need anything before I leave you here? Drink? Bathroom? More of your … excitey pills?”
“I’m good,” he grumbles.
“I bet you are.” I waggle my eyebrows. “But I’m talking about needing anything right now. Showing me how good you can be will have to wait until you’re feeling better.”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it!”
“Do I? Your body’s sending signals your mouth won’t.”
“It’s. The. Pills. And this is highly inappropriate. I’m your … your godfather.”
“Are you though? I thought godfathers were supposed to give guidance as you grow up. You gave me shit all.”
“I’m here now, so that counts.”
I stand, preparing to go find Scout. Will I be asking him about Decaf’s bullshit claim about his meds? Nope. But I can let him think I am. Before I leave, I lean closer to him, placing my hand beside him on the bed and hovering above him.
Before he can tell me to back off or use his good hand to push me away, I lower my voice and say, “Just so we’re both clear here. I will never look at you in a godfatherly way.”
His anger breaks into something more vulnerable. Hurt, even.
“Not because I’m angry with you or hold resentment for not being there for me as a kid, but because I’ve only ever known you as the person I am now.
An adult. You might have been my father’s best friend, but that was a lifetime ago, one I wasn’t there to witness.
To me, you’re just Decaf. My teammate. The man who saved my life. The rest doesn’t matter.”
And now, before I do something extra stupid like lean in and kiss him, I force myself to walk outside to find where Scout’s gotten to now.
I swear he’s trying to avoid being in a room with Decaf and me. Whenever something snarky comes out of one of us, he’s out the door faster than either of us can say, “Who’s right here?”
He always mumbles something about not wanting to play referee to our games, and that’s fair. Playing games with Decaf is fun, and now that I’ve mentioned the elephant in the room—his hard cock—I predict they’re only going to get funner.
It’s not fun.
It takes a solid twelve hours the following day to realize Decaf pretends to be asleep whenever I enter the room.
Either I’ve made him extremely uncomfortable, which is saying something for someone recovering from internal injuries and a broken wrist, or I’ve gotten to him too much that he can’t stand to be around me anymore.
I hope for the latter. Do I think he would ever act on his bodily responses?
Not at all. But how else am I supposed to pass the time out here in the middle of nowhere?
Play more chess? I still have a tiny mark on my forehead where Decaf threw his pawn at me yesterday.
I leave him to continue to “sleep” while I duck around into the kitchen, where Scout is. It’s a small cabin, but I still raise my voice so he can hear me through the wall. “Ooh, is that a fresh batch of coffee?”
Scout puts a finger to his mouth. “You dare say the C-word around him?”
“He’s been sleeping all day. Maybe he needs the caffeine.”
“Yes, please,” Decaf calls out.
Sleeping, my ass.
“Coming right up,” I call back. “So glad you’re awake! I thought you were dead.”
Scout shakes his head while I smile widely. It’s not like I have to hide it when Decaf can’t see me.
“I never thought I’d say this, but I actually miss crashing with Zeus and his moody teenagers.”
I nod along. “Decaf can be so immature, I know.”
Scout takes a deep breath and hands over two coffee cups. “For you and Decaf. Have fun. I’m going to go double-check the perimeter is secure.”
“What do you really do out there? Because we both know the perimeter is secure.”
“Play Sudoku on my phone.”
I snort. “Have fun with that. I’ll let you know if the patient is getting crabby and needs a top-up on his meds.”
“How will you know the difference between needing meds or needing more caffeine?”
“I can hear you, you know!” Decaf yells. “And you’re both assholes.”
“Right. Better get him his fix.” I pour two coffees from the percolated stuff on the counter and then head into the living room and hand it to him. “Need help with anything? Getting to the bathroom? Itchy cast? Any more … medication side effects flaring … up?”
He puts one finger up to shush me while he drinks half his coffee in one gulp. Going to add burned tongue to his list of injuries. Would be a shame to have to kiss that boo-boo better.
“Okay. I can probably deal with you a lot better now.”
“Are … are you flirting with me?”
“Telling you I can’t be around you unless I’m under the influence of a drug is flirting?”
“You can’t be around anyone unless you’re under the influence of caffeine. Therefore, being able to tolerate me after only one sip? Damn, I’m amazing.”
“Fucking hell,” he swears under his breath and drinks some more coffee.
“You want to play more games today?” I pause to let him figure out which games I’m talking about. The tormenting him kind or more chess. Which is also tormenting him in a way because I win every time. “I think I saw Twister in the games cupboard. You’d be up for that, right?”
“Definitely. It will cause my internal stitches to crack open, and I’ll drown in my own blood and escape you messing with me.”
I laugh. “It’s cute you think I’m messing with you.
” Am I, actually? Yes. But in the same way creepy straight guys imply they want to fuck you, only to say “ha ha, joking” after it.
They’d do it in a heartbeat, and so would I.
So it’s not so much messing with him, but …
fishing for an opening. If there could ever be one.
My attraction to Decaf was hard to deny even when I hated him, but now that we’ve talked it out and he jumped in front of a fucking car bomb to save me … it’s like we have a clean slate. A new start.
Decaf is staring blankly at me, probably trying to figure out if I’m being serious or not. I smile at him in return, just to confuse him more.
“Corey—”
“Oh, shit, you’re first naming me?”
“Because I need you to know how serious I’m being when I say … you know nothing could ever happen between us, right? I know my body reacted to yours, but that’s simple chemistry—”
I point at him. “Ah-ha! So you admit you were reacting to me and it wasn’t the medication.”
“No, no. It’s still the medication. Which is why I don’t want you thinking that there could be something … here.”
Damn. I’m not expecting my heart to sink to my ass so fast, but it does. “Yeah … of course I know that.”
It’s what I expected, but having that window closed and locked sure doesn’t feel great.
“I am just messing with you.” I’m sure that would be more believable if my voice didn’t crack midway through.
“You’re a great kid—”
I wince. Yikes.
“—but there are lines that just can’t be crossed.”
“I know,” I manage to say more firmly. “If it’s making you too uncomfortable, I’ll stop.”
“I’d like that.”
“Okay. Done. No more jokes about your cock liking me.”
He glares.
“Now I’m done.”
And also weirdly angry at myself. For going too far into pushing him to say something? For letting myself think what if to begin with?
Either way, it doesn’t matter because it’s done now.
Gah, this sucks. Why did I push it that one step too far?