Chapter 40
T wo months.
Two months, that's how much time has passed since our last meeting.
I avoided Danylo for two months. I knew it was difficult for him. I saw how he was struggling not to communicate with me. And I feel guilty about this.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about him all of these days. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t find the strength to move on. I would be lying if I said that I don't want to touch his body again, to feel his embrace.
Our communication was limited to a few text messages.
Danylo : Hey. How are you?
Me : Hey. I'm busy now, we'll text you later.
During these two months, I thought a lot, talked a lot with a psychologist, cried a lot. I tried to overcome my feelings of guilt, to let go of the past.
And although I took small steps, I realised the main thing - Denys will always be a part of my life, he will be my greatest love and my greatest pain, but he will not be the one whom I will spend this life with.
These thoughts tore me up inside at first, but then I felt like I was healed. And there was also a person who healed me.
Danylo.
The last class ends. One by one, the students leave the auditorium and dissolve into the dense crowd. Someone is texting, someone is probably drinking their sixth coffee today, and someone is staring at me.
"Hi," he stops.
I'm confused. I get up from the chair and smile.
"Hi," I finally say.
"I miss you," he says quietly.
I put my hands in my pockets.
"I miss you too."
I look into his facial features and I no longer remember the same Danylo. His brown eyes took on an even darker shade. The hair has grown a little, and there is a slight stubble on the face.
Danylo pulls me to him and inhales my scent.
"I dreamed of doing this for two months. I dreamed of touching you for sixty-five days. I almost lost my mind, Amelia." Then touch me.
Touch every part of my body.
"But if you need more time. If..." He closes his eyes, I see how he fights with himself.
"I want to see what I mean to you." I say.
"I will prove to you that you mean the whole universe to me."
Danylo releases me and kisses me on the cheek. Softly. With love and so cute.
Her: Party. Lots of booze. Come.
I receive a message from Yara. It wasn't part of my plans at all, but now to be honest, I don't mind getting drunk until I pass out.
"I have to go, I'll text you later." I say quickly and leave him.
Yara texts the address, I run to the apartment to change into a top and jeans, call a taxi and get where I need to go.
Maybe it's time for me to stop being surprised that the parties here start early, even though I feel like they never end.
I don't know where they keep finding students who have a free house and a lot of money to throw parties like this.
But I admit, this is exactly what I need right now.
"You came." Yara runs up and we hug.
"Will you bring me something to drink?" I say immediately.
"You still ask," she smiles, "we’re sitting over there." She points to the centre of the house. "Go to them, I will come right now."
By the way, we discussed everything with Lily. I didn't forgive her, but I said I would think about it.
"I'm sorry," she touched my hand, "if I had known that there was something between you, I would never have kissed him." But she knew.
"There was nothing between us."
"Actually, it was. We all thought that you were just friends, but as it turned out, there was something more behind it."
"We have never admitted this to each other."
"I think it's time to confess," she hugged me, "I didn't want to hurt you, I will regret it all my life."
I look around the house and then do as I'm told, greeting familiar faces along the way, aware that there's a face I definitely don't want to see right now.
"Ami," shouts Lily and I sit down next to her.
"And here I am." Yara brings me an Aperol Spritz and I look at her with surprise.
I hope there is only Prosecco, she could have just brought me water from the tap.
"Sorry, I didn't think you wanted something more alcoholic."
"No problem, I'll be back now," I inform and go to the kitchen.
I need something stronger, something that shuts down my brain right away.
I reach for the whiskey bottle and glance for the Coke.
"I like your new hairstyle." Someone's strong arms hug me from behind.
I know exactly who these hugs belong to.
"I thought you didn't notice." I turn my face to Danylo and push his hands away from me.
"I notice every little thing about you, love." He runs his hand through my hair.
"I thought you didn't like blondes."
"There is only one blonde in the world who I like." He whispers quietly in my ear, while his hand slides down my jeans.
"So, what are you doing here?"
"I knew I would find you here. Maybe this is the only opportunity to talk to you."
"Yeah, sure."
"So, why did you change your hair colour?" Because I decided to move on.
"You don’t like it?"
"I like everything about you, darling."
"You need to decide what you want, Danylo." "I decided a long time ago what I want. Te deseo." I raise my eyebrows to the top.
"I swear, if you don't stop..."
"You, Amelia. Only you." He tries to kiss me, but I refuse.
"So why didn't you do anything these two months."
"You made it clear that you don't want to be with me."
"Let me remind you," I poke my finger into his ribcage, "you were the first to say to stay as far away from you as possible."
"I couldn’t control my feelings, Jesus," he runs his hand through his hair.
His cheeks are red, and the veins on his neck stood out.
"What? What are you talking about?"
"I couldn't, Amelia. I knew it was bad, I knew it from the beginning, but I couldn't stop. Couldn't stop being with you. However, I also couldn’t give a chance to something that was doomed from the beginning. I couldn't leave Zlata, I couldn't destroy my family, but I didn't have the strength to stop thinking about you," he touches my cheeks, "I couldn’t stop thinking about you even for a minute, you filled my thoughts completely and utterly, I was losing my mind little by little because of you, and I couldn't lose everything forever because I'm hopelessly in love with a girl who will never be able to love me back. But I don't want to be without you. Because without you, there is no me.”
I stopped breathing for a few seconds. I followed every movement of his hands, every word that left his lips, every blink of his eyes. I know he is telling the truth.
But I don't know what to do with this truth.
"Ah, surely you confused my lips with Lily's lips because you love me?"
"Ami," he moans and puts his head on my shoulder, "I just confessed my love to you. Why is everything so difficult?"
"As always, Danylo," I raise my voice, "it doesn't happen any other way with us. You always have some problems and some excuses."
"Don't worry, soon you will get rid of me and my problems," the expression on his face becomes serious, he takes his hands from my waist and leans on the table, thereby closing the passage for me.
"What do you mean?"
"You will see."
"Bondar," I begin.
"Amelia, you have a chance now to push your jealousy a little further and kiss me, or I'll leave, and you'll never be able to do it again." "What?" I laugh.
"Okay, then I'll do it."
Danylo takes his hands off the table and pulls me to him again, he lifts my chin with his right hand and brings his lips to mine.
I freeze. His breathing is heavy and hot, and his movements are completely chaotic. I can taste the alcohol in my mouth, especially as his tongue penetrates deeper. A moan breaks out of me, but we don't stop.
"Do you want to go to the room," he says with a smile, and I nod.
Danylo takes my hand, and we go up to the second floor. Fortunately, the first room is free.
We go inside. I sit on the bed, and Danylo leans on the door, having previously closed it with a lock.
"What?" I smile.
"Nothing, I just look at you and I want to remember how wonderful you look in clothes." I bite my lip.
He finally breaks away from the door and comes closer to me. Danylo is no in hurry, he enjoys every moment as much as I do. We look into each other's eyes, and it feels like the most intimate thing I've ever done.
After all, I allow him to read me, I allow him to look deep into my soul, and believe me, sometimes doing this is much more difficult than simply undressing.
"You are the most beautiful girl I have ever met." His hand touches my cheekbones.
"You need to come up with a better excuse." "What about this." He kisses my neck.
I'm smiling.
"It's already better."
"Then the place that my tongue will touch now will be even better," he smiles with the corner of his mouth, and inside me everything turns upside down.
Danylo leans towards me, and we kissing, giving and absorbing each other's pain. I run my hands along his back. He moans.
"Are you sure you want this?" He asks.
I laugh again. Others would not ask such a thing, but would try to do everything in order not to lose the chance to get fucked.
"Yes," I nod.
"I will hate myself for this," he says quietly, and I don't have time to think, because his lips have already filled all my thoughts.
He took off his shirt and I froze. He is perfect. Just like always. I want to kiss every centimetre of his body.
"Do you like it?" Danylo smiles and I just nod again.
His next step was me. And although he has already seen my scar from the operation, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m ashamed of my body.
So when his hand completely rips off my clothes, I cover myself and look away.
"Don't hide from me, love." He takes my hands away. "Never." And he kisses the very place where my heart once stopped beating. "My beautiful beautiful love."
"I didn't know you were so gentle and sweet." I smiled.
"I'll show you how gentle I can be." I bit my lip.
"But I didn't say it would be this time." The smile widened on his face.
Oh, God.
"Get on your knees." It wasn't a request. It was an order.
"Make me."
"Be a good girl and do it."
I obey him and kneel before him. And I expect almost anything, but definitely not what I see in front of me a few seconds later.
"It's too big for me." My eyes almost reflect fear. But in reality, I'm burning with desire. I'm burning with desire for Bondar to touch me.
"Open your mouth and take it all."
Another order and again I obey. I open my mouth and he's sliding his cock in. My eyes instantly fill with tears.
"I'm going to fuck you so hard, Amelia, that you'll never be able to think about other guys. Look at me. Look who is doing this to you, who is destroying your little mouth."
He runs his hand through my hair. I can't take it anymore. I'm out of breath. I'm ready to cum just from this.
"That's it. Every inch of it, like a good girl."
This will be my death. A few more minutes and I won't be able to take it. Tears are almost pouring from my eyes as he destroys my mouth with his cock.
"Just a little more, Amelia," he whispers and cums in my mouth.
He lets me go and I wipe my tears. In a few seconds, he turned me into a pile of garbage.
"Now it's your turn." He looks at me with a challenge.
Danylo turns me around and bends me over. I bite my lower lip.
"I'm going to destroy you. Are you ready for it?" I nod, unable to say anything.
"Open your legs, my love."
He pushes his cock into me and I scream out.
I can't take it anymore. The pain pierces me, but it feels so good.
He is fucking me.
Danylo Bondar is fucking me.
Fast. Hard. Brutal.
My body slowly leaves the boundaries of this world. Danylo lifts me up to heaven and lowers me back to earth, gives me the universe, as I have not seen it before today.