2021
Sebastian arranged for Amelia to be in my department in the hospital, tomorrow is our first day of work together...
"Amelia?" Danylo looks at me confused.
"Please." He runs up to me and falls on his knees. "Listen to me." He takes my hands and brings them to his lips, I immediately take them away and get up from the bed.
I look at him and no longer see in him the person I loved. After a few pages, he became a stranger to me. A few pages ruined everything. "Every. Meeting. We. Had. Was a lie," I say quietly, pausing.
"Don't say that," Danylo looks as if I just shot him in the heart.
But this is me, I got shot in the heart. My heart was taken away, I was destroyed. I was lied to.
Have you ever looked at a person and no longer see those familiar facial features that you once loved to look at? His brown eyes no longer seem the cutest in the world, and a once beautiful face now seems as ordinary as everyone else's. You try to remember why you loved this person just a few minutes ago, but now you can't remember his name.
It's the same with me now. I feel like I've been lied to all my life, like every moment I've lived has been prematurely discussed and written on blank sheets of paper. The person I met for the first time in my life was not at all who I thought he was.
The person I trusted trampled on all my feelings without even making an effort.
I still think I'm asleep. That this morning I didn't wake up, didn't come to this damn apartment and didn't read this notebook. But when I squeezed my hand, I felt the hard pages in my palm, which for some reason burned me so badly.
"Ami, you are my only one, my love, my pain, my universe, I love you,
I've always loved you, but I didn't want to admit it. You are the only thing I live for, you are my happiness, listen to me." He fell to his knees in front of me, although in my eyes he fell under the ground.
There were two people in the room and both were doomed to suffer. Perhaps one of them regretted his act, perhaps the other tried to find the strength to forgive him, but she is too weak for that, and he is too selfish to see his fault.
"You killed him." With the realisation of the text, I finally say and release the notebook from my hands.
"No, Amelia, you haven't read everything, please finish reading." He takes the notebook in his hands and hands it to me.
I will never touch this notebook again. I will never return to this apartment again. I will never let him into my life again.
He manipulated me. Controlled me. He knew every damn part of my life, and he pretended that he saw me for the first time. My world was crumbling with every second, with every remembered moment, with every touch and kiss. I forgot how to breathe. Again. Although this time I would rather never take another breath and let the darkness finally consume me forever.