Chapter 5 #2
“That sounds perfect.” Rita smiled and looked my way. “Jas, this is Major Harris.” It was the proper way to introduce me, but I would have liked it better if she had called me Stewart. I was becoming obsessed with getting her to say my name. I really want to hear it from her lips.
“Ma’am.” I dipped my head in Jas’s direction.
“None of that. Not here.” She held her arms open as if waiting for me to hug her.
I looked at Rita, and she subtly nodded her head. I shrugged and embraced the woman. Her hug was stronger than I would have thought, and it reminded me of my mom. She always told us to hug people like we really meant it, and she took her own words to heart.
She let go, and I glanced back at Rita to see her really smiling. “What is this place?” I whispered my question again.
“You’ll see.” Did she just wink at me?
“Well, come on back, you two.” Jas waved for us to follow behind her. I let Rita go first, and I followed, still unsure what we were doing.
Jas led us down a long hallway with nothing but doors. I could hear faint scratching and what sounded like a whine, which piqued my curiosity even more.
“Are you going with door one or two today?”
Rita looked me up and down. “I think we will go with door number one.” I raised my eyebrows. What was the difference?
“Good choice.” Jas smiled. “Let me know when you’re done.” She walked off down the hallway leaving us alone.
“Are you ready?” Rita asked.
“Ready for what?”
She smiled and turned the doorknob. The tiniest little fur ball ran out, nipping at my legs.
“Puppies?” I reached down and picked him up in my arms.
“Puppies.” She repeated and ushered me in.
The room was filled with dogs ranging in all sizes and interest levels. Some were lying in the corner sleeping, others were yelping and jumping toward us, and there were a few that looked at us with suspicion in their gaze.
“What is this place?” I asked for what had to be the third or fourth time.
“It’s an animal shelter that also operates as a puppy and kitten cafe.
” Rita explained, taking a seat on the one couch in the room.
“They allow people to come in and enjoy the animals without feeling the pressure of having to adopt any of them. They also have warm drinks if you would like.” She used her chin to point out a table off to the side with what looked like a coffee or hot chocolate bar. Maybe even both.
“How did I not know this place existed?” I sat beside her, but on the floor.
“Most people don’t.”
“That’s too bad.” Another puppy had snuggled his way into my lap. “Hey little guy.” I put the first dog down and petted the new one. “You remind me of Ranger.”
“Who’s Ranger?” She slid off the couch and down to the floor beside me.
“My dog back home.” I kept petting the puppy. “I got him right before I left for college.”
“So you did know you wanted to be a Ranger before you signed up.”
I thought about what Rex had said. “Maybe.”
“Hey, where did you go?” Rita put her hand on my leg.
“Sorry.” I let my left hand take over stroking the back of the dog and put my right one over hers. “Did you know I almost joined the Air Force before becoming a medic?”
“Really?” She seemed to relax. “What happened?”
“One of my friends in high school convinced me we should enlist right after graduation.” I shook my head and laughed. “He had this idea of us learning to fly and then retiring to become commercial pilots and see the world.”
“I take it that didn’t work out the way he planned.”
“Damn fool lied on his paperwork.” I told her.
“What?” Her eyes went wide.
“He couldn’t see for shit, and he wrote down he had twenty-twenty vision like they wouldn’t figure it out when they did the physical.”
“Is that why you decided to join the Rangers?” She asked.
I shrugged. “Without him around it made more sense. I joined the reserves in college and then after everything just moved on to the Rangers. It was the only way to specialize in all the areas that interested me.” I looked over at her. “We lead the way.”
“My father was a Ranger.” She swallowed and stood. She went over to the drinks and started making one.
I put the dog down and went to join her. “Is he retired?”
“He actually passed on a few years ago.” She stirred the liquid in her cup.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” I wanted to reach out and hold her.
“It’s okay.” She flashed a smile. “He lived a full life.”
“What about your mom?”
“She lives back in Louisiana. She wouldn’t step foot back in Colorado, or any cold climate state, if you paid her.”
“Do you have any siblings?” I asked.
“I have a half-brother.” She shared. “He’s in the service too.”
“Ranger?”
“No, he is Air Force.”
“Is he stationed here?”
She shook her head. “He’s in Japan. We don’t see each other that often, but we didn’t really grow up together, so it’s cool.”
That meant she was here all alone. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.” She turned back to me. “This isn’t about me anyway. We are supposed to be getting you back on track.”
“I’m fine.” I couldn’t resist putting my hand on her shoulder. I let it slide down her arm until I reached her hand and took hold. “I’m more interested in how you are doing.”
“Don’t.” She backed away. “I told you before. I won’t be manipulated into signing your paper so you can get back to work before you’re ready. I won’t put someone’s life in jeopardy because you don’t want to open up.”
I staggered back. “You think I would put someone’s life on the line?”
“You’re the one trying to use seduction to get back in uniform.” She raised her eyebrow. “Trying to entice me into signing your form.”
“Fuck the form.” I ran my hand through my hair. “I would never put my guys' lives on the line just to get back in the uniform. As it is, I already feel guilty enough for…” I paused and rubbed at my chest.
“For what?” Her voice softened.
“It doesn’t matter.” I paced over to the other side of the room. “And I’m not trying to seduce you into anything. I’m sorry I thought being kind and attracted to someone was a good thing. My bad.”
Rita stayed next to the drinks, not saying a word. When she spoke up, I almost wished she hadn’t.
“Have you noticed you touch your chest every time you get agitated?”
“What?”
“You touch your chest, and your hand shakes some.” She continued.
I shook my head. “How do you do that?” I asked.
“How do you just turn everything off and switch to doctor mode without batting an eye?” That was a skill I’d never mastered, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
My guys, my unit, were my best friends. There was no way I couldn’t be real with them.
That was why I had been avoiding them since we got back.
If anyone would see through me, it would be one of them.
“I’m doing my job.”
“A little too well.” I ran my hand back through my hair. “Next you’re going to be asking me how I slept and if I ate a full breakfast.”
“Well?” I looked over to see her head tilted upward.
“I slept fine, and I forced myself to eat a bagel since I was seeing you.” I informed her. “Does that work for you, Ms. Fontaine?” There was nothing nice about my voice.
“This isn’t about me.”
“Isn’t it?” I leaned against the wall behind me.
She crossed her arms. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means every time I come close to getting to know anything about you, you shut down and turn it all back on me.”
“I’m not the one in therapy.” She walked toward me. “I’m supposed to keep my life separate from yours. It’s not my fault that you make me…” This time she cut herself off.
“I make you what?” I waited for her to say more, but she didn’t. “I make you what?” I pushed off the wall and went to her. “What do I make you want, Rita?” My hand came up to touch the side of her face. “Is it the same thing I want?”
“We can’t do this.” She didn’t move.
“Are you sure?” My eyes went to her mouth. Her teeth were pulling at her bottom lip in the sexiest way I had ever seen. It was amazing I wasn’t hard as stone right now.
“Major.”
“Stewart.” I damn near growled out. Was she ever going to use my name?
She pulled at her lip again, and I was done.
If anyone was going to bite her lip, I wanted it to be me.
I started lowering my head. I didn’t move as fast as I normally would.
I wanted her to have the chance to tell me to stop if she wanted to.
I barely brushed her top lip when someone knocked on the door.
Rita jumped clear across the room. Her cheeks red enough to give her brown skin a maroon hue. “Yes?”
“Just letting you know it’s been an hour.” Jas spoke from the other side of the door.
“Thank you.” Rita replied. “We will be out in a moment.”
She didn’t bother looking in my direction. She went over and picked up the drink she had made earlier. “We will pick up our session next week.”
“Rita.” Frustration filled my voice.
“In the meantime, if you want me to sign your paperwork, then I need to see some progress.” She still wasn’t looking in my direction. “I’d like you to start a sleep journal and socialize with your friends at least once this week. And before you ask, visiting them in the hospital doesn’t count.”
“Rita.” I repeated her name. I’d made my way over so I was standing behind her. I let my hands rest on her shoulders. “We have to talk about this.”
“No, we don’t.” She shook my hands off. “I actually need to get going. I have another appointment back at the office.” She went through the door. “I’ll see you next week, and if you show progress, I’ll consider letting you get back to work one, maybe two days a week.”
She finally looked back at me and nodded. “Have a good day, Major.” With that, she was gone.