Chapter 9 #2
I wasn’t in the right headspace to be talking to anyone right now.
Safely inside my room, I slammed my door shut and pounced on my bed.
It would’ve been so easy to fall apart and cry right now, but I wasn’t built like that.
I would have to turn part of me off and learn to deal with Frequency accordingly.
If he wanted things to be a certain way between us, that was fine.
I had faked enough through life. This would be nothing new.
Frequency
“What’s good, Celine?” I greeted her, exhausted.
“Um, well, about that…” She carried this tone, and her voice drifted off.
“Hello, son.” A strong, very familiar voice filled my ears, and I spun toward the doorway to the living room.
My adrenaline immediately pumped into overdrive, and I was sure my blood pressure had spiked on sight.
Kutlass Roth, my father, stood before me.
He looked older, his salt and pepper hair cut low, and his beard trimmed neatly.
Suited in designer threads, his sharp eyes focused on me.
My face twisted up when I looked back at him.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“We need to talk.” He cut to the chase, never a man to avoid what was on his mind as he took slow strides toward the living room. Glancing at Celine, who seemed nervous caught between the two of us, I shook my head and trailed him into the room.
“I’ve talked to Knowledge. I know what’s going on here. I’m here to weigh in,” Kut clarified.
“Ain’t shit to weigh in on,” I told him. “This ain’t got shit to do with you.”
“You’re wrong about that.” His words halted me in my steps before I could walk away from him. “Knowledge said he sent you the file.”
“He did,” I countered.
“And?” Kut pressed me.
“And what?” I snarled. “Why the fuck are you here!”
“You still think this shit is a good idea to keep this girl around here, around you… after learning all that?” he commanded, abrasive.
This was why we could never get along. He thought he ruled the world.
There was no gray area with Kut. He’d been testing me all my life.
I was hardened to love, affection, and the world long before Harbor had come along.
The one time I truly let someone in, she was killed, and that left scars that had yet to heal.
My heart was boxed up, and I didn’t want anyone else to touch it, not even my own child.
Harbor was right about that, and it was the reason I went so hard on her.
I was bruised, damaged, almost beyond repair.
“It doesn’t matter what I know. It matters what she knows. Which is nothing,” I informed him. “And I’m not going to say anything to her about it. That shit is done, dead, and fucking buried.”
“Funny shit about that, someone can always come searching for the truth. If they dig deep enough, they might scratch the surface of some shit. Halo. St. John disappeared and was never found.”
“And all her family knows is that she left. Ain’t nobody looking for her. To them, she is dead,” I conveyed, eyes burning into his.
It wasn’t until I saw Harbor that I started having nightmares again.
She triggered something in a nigga that brought old wounds to the surface.
She cut through the anchor I had in place.
I didn’t understand why at first, but then, slowly pieces of a very complex puzzle began to come together.
Her mother’s name finally resonated in me.
“You better hope shit stays that way. You are playing with fire. Heat rises. Remember that,” Kut said to me with a nod and cold eyes.
“Celine said that Ivy was in school. I would like to see her later. I’ve got something to handle while I’m here.
Oh, and your mother says to call her. She thinks you’ve been avoiding her. ” He started toward the foyer.
“Well, she did send Kara here, and I’m still waiting on her ass to leave,” I mumbled, facing him as he stepped outside of the living room.
“We’ll talk later.” Kut nodded and exited through the front door. “Consider what I said.”
I stood there, fisting my chin and running through my thoughts. Shit was starting to build up, and I didn’t know how I was going to handle anything going forward. A nigga was in over his head in every way. I was telling one thing to Harbor and feeling something else.
What I couldn’t even admit to myself was that she was finding a way under my skin, into my blood, pumping my organs.
When I wasn’t with her, she was never far in the back of my mind.
I enjoyed every minute I was in her presence.
I hadn’t expected it and damn sure didn’t see it coming.
To be honest, I was fighting what I felt was a disease that could spread.
It’d been a long time since a woman made me crave her. The pull was so strong with Harbor that it brought guilt. Was I shitting on the memory of my child’s mother for allowing a woman close to that reserved space again?
“Frequency.” Celine’s voice jarred me from my current state of mind. “You okay?” she asked, coming into the room.
“I’m good,” I said, putting up a front.
I definitely wasn’t okay. I was starting to feel some pressure.
“What happened with Harbor?” she asked, seating herself beside me on the sofa.
I blew out a sharp breath. “Things are just… complicated. With me and her and whatever it is. She thinks she wants something else from this. And that’s probably my fault for crossing the line with her.”
“You think?” Celine mocked, shaking her head. “I swear you are your father’s son,” she muttered like she knew something I didn’t.
“The fuck that mean?” I replied, offended.
I didn’t like being compared to that nigga, not ever.
“Nothing, alright.” She lifted herself from the couch.
“But if all you are going to do is hurt that girl, then you should let her go. She’s got some abandonment issues as it is.
And let’s not forget you brought her here against her will to begin with.
She’s done everything that you’ve asked of her, and now you want to play with her head and her body.
It’s not fair to her. She’s young, and… I always thought that you were better than that.
Prove me wrong. Keep it strictly business between you two like it should have been.
Allow her to live her life. She didn’t sign up for any of this.
” Celine was passionate when she spoke, leaving me stuck with her words as she bolted out of the room.
To me, it felt like the conversation wasn’t just about Harbor.
Celine had some underlying issues that she hadn’t resolved in her own life.
She made a point or two though and was good for making a nigga feel like shit.
The thought of Harbor not being around or allowing another man access to her body the way that she had me didn’t even sit right.
In fact, shit damn near enraged me as I stewed there for a minute.
Jealousy and possession were rooted deeper than I could even fathom when it came to her.
Pulling myself from the couch, I walked past the entryway into the dining room so that I could cut through to my home office.
Just as I passed, I noticed Harbor standing there, pinned against the wall.
Her eyes stretched wide in her head, while the rest of her trembled as she tried to keep herself steady.
She didn’t seem to even see me standing there at first. I reached for her hand, but she jerked from my touch as her eyes found mine.
They were glossed over, full of tears, as one slipped past her eyelid.
“Harbor, what’s wrong?” I asked, concerned that she was having a breakdown or some shit.
Her face was ashen, like she’d seen or heard something that left her gutted, and I wasn’t even sure how fucking long she’d been standing there.
Her eyes drifted into mine, and she searched them frantically for something.
The anguish that resonated behind her stare made a nigga tender in the chest. This wasn’t supposed to happen for me again.
I was questioning what I felt for Ivana because somehow what I felt for Harbor had surpassed that.
Her lip quivered, and fell over hyperventilating.
“What… did you do to my mother?” she demanded, voice trembling.
A nigga’s heart stalled, and all the air left my body as I stared blankly back at her. What the fuck?
To be continued…