Chapter 4
“Yeah I meant that shit literally, she with you but she feeling me…”
Ivana Samuels
Months had gone by, and my living situation was frustrating me by the day.
Living in my sister Gardenia’s home was not a part of the fucking plan.
Then again, neither was coming back and finding out that the man I loved had moved on with his life and was building a new one with some other bitch.
I hated Harbor on sight. I knew about her well before I ever set eyes on her.
Even her voice was sultry and perfect. I knew because I’d randomly been calling her phone just to fuck with her head.
I knew that Quency loved her. It was all in the way he handled her.
A glance that spoke a thousand words or a touch that was meant only for her that stirred a piece of her soul no doubt.
I remembered that feeling. Once upon a time, he did all that shit for me too.
My relationship with my own daughter wasn’t even the same.
Ivy was almost a teenager, and she had grown and changed so much that I had to get to know her all over again.
Seeing her on the weekends was great for me, but she didn’t seem to enjoy them much.
She spent most of her time in the room that she had at Gardenia’s place.
If she didn’t have her head in her phone, she had her earbuds in and was always in the basement dancing in the mirrors.
“Hey. What you in here thinking about?” My sister’s voice pulled me from my current thoughts as she sailed into the kitchen.
I was high for one, but she nor anyone else needed to know of the bad habits I had picked up.
Part of me was happy to be back. She was ecstatic when she laid eyes on me and immediately told me to move in with her.
I was reluctant because I needed time with Quency and Ivy, but I also needed not to feel like I had eyes all over me too.
Everywhere I went in that house, I felt like I was being watched.
“Um, nothing.” I shook away my thoughts.
“Liar. You got that look on your face.” She observed, pausing at my side.
“What look?” I feigned innocence and went back to chopping strawberries on the wooden cutting board.
“Like you did when we were kids when you were plotting something. I can see those wheels turning.” She squinted through her sharp, milk-chocolate-colored eyes.
“Ivy still upstairs?” I asked.
“Yeah, she’s packing her bag so she can head home. Why?”
“She’s always ready to go. Why did you even take her back to him?” I snapped, watching her rear her neck in surprise.
“Because he’s her father.” She pointed out the obvious. “What is wrong with you?”
“She was fine here with you. Now she’s bonded with this bitch that he’s with—”
“Whoa. You are not about to turn this on me. You left, faking your own fucking death at that. You made the choice to walk away. Now you want to come back and throw a fucking tantrum because things have changed? Well, guess whose fault that is, baby sister. That would be yours.” Gardenia aimed a finger at me with her thick but perfectly arched brows dipping angrily.
The fact that she was right only angered me more. My plan was never to stay gone that long; things just happened.
“The question is, what are you going to do about it? Hmm?” She pressed me.
“What am I supposed to do about it? He’s got a woman, and they have babies. So any trump I had over her is gone. Plus, Ivy adores her.”
“Then you are going to have to figure out a way to make them unlove her. That is if you want your family back.” Gardenia insinuated.
When I didn’t respond, I could feel her watching me like a hawk.
“Unless something has changed. Do you want them back?”
“Seven years is a long time. She’s about to be a teenager.
He’s… not the same at all. Harbor is all over him.
You can see it when you look at him. When they are in the room together, you can feel their energy toward one another.
Once upon a time, that was me and him. She stole my man, and she stole my child. ”
“Only neither of them was yours. Frequency finally moved on. He stayed guilt-ridden for years behind what happened to you. So don’t stand there and blame him.
Take your fault in this. And stop crying,” she sneered bitterly.
“You got a second fucking chance at life. If you want it, take that shit. Don’t let anybody stand in your way.
” Gardenia had always been my biggest supporter.
She lived by that by any means motto. She didn’t give a fuck.
Our parents died when we were little, so all we had to depend on was each other.
She did a lot and saw a lot to make sure that we stuck together and were taken care of.
I loved my sister, but she didn’t exactly give off morality vibes either.
She was beautiful, and even in her mid-thirties, she looked good and kept herself in shape.
Working out was another job to her. She was an escort, but she also owned a sex shop where she sold all kinds of toys and adult movies.
There was a massage parlor in the back, but more than that went on beyond those curtains.
Gardenia was a pure professional though, and she never sweated the small shit.
Her goal wasn’t to have kids and get married.
All sis cared about was that bag. She shut her heart off a long time ago.
The doorbell sounded off, and we frowned across the counter questionably at each other.
“You got company coming?” I questioned her.
“Nah,” she said, shaking her head. “I’ll get it though.”
I stood there eating strawberries, and when Gardenia came back, Frequency was behind her in all his fucking regal glory.
Damn. He had gotten finer over time. His skin was like a caramel frappe, and those fucking eyes and lips drew me in every time I looked at him.
Casual in a business shirt, no tie and slacks, his waves were on point when he strolled in.
He owned any room he typically walked into, and still managed to make my heard speed up while doing so. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that.
“It’s your baby daddy,” she declared, rolling her eyes.
“What are you doing here? I thought I was dropping Ivy off.”
“Yeah. I just wanted to talk to you first,” Frequency responded, joining me at the counter on the opposite side.
Placing both palms on the counter, I admired the muscles in his arms as they flexed.
“I’ll go check on Ivy and make sure she’s ready.” Gardenia bowed out of the room.
“Why did you come here?” I asked before my sister was out of earshot.
“You upset about that?” he shot back, straightening his back and keeping his eyes focused on me.
“Why would I be upset? You are her father. I’m just surprised,” I replied.
“I’ve given you your space, Ivana, and let you move how you wanted to since coming back. I haven’t pressed you for a thing,” he worded carefully.
“No, you haven’t, have you?” I mumbled, and he frowned. “And I haven’t turned on you either.”
“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” he demanded.
“It means you don’t give a fuck about me now that you have this new life. A new woman, new babies. Everything between us is just forgotten… right?”
“Did I ever say that?” He seemed perplexed about where this conversation was going.
“You haven’t said much of anything to me since being back. Did you forget we spent years together before I went away?” I tested him, tears misting my eyes.
“Did you? You got the nerve to stand there questioning me like you didn’t fucking choose to stay gone!” he barked, rage pouring out of him. “I can’t even fucking trust you! I feel like I never knew you.”
“You knew me, and you still do. You love me, Quency. The kind of love we have doesn’t just go away.
We had that once-in-a-lifetime shit. Don’t you remember?
We would sit-up every single night until the wee hours talking about our dreams. Not just for us, but for Ivy too,” I reminded him, watching his gaze soften as he too went down memory lane.
Setting the knife on the counter, I stepped around it and squeezed into his personal space.
He went rigid, tightening up as my body heat bounced off his.
His breathing deepened, and he peered down at me, but for the first time since I got back, resentment didn’t reside there.
Reaching up, mesmerized by his striking eyes peering through me, the palm of my hand swiped his cheek.
Eyes closing he allowed me to place my other arm around him and step into his space.
“Did you think about me at all?” I whispered against him, holding on to his sturdy torso.
I remembered every time I’d been in his arms. Always protected. I didn’t know how I allowed his father to put doubt into me about him. Frequency gripped my upper arms and yanked me away from him. Gritting his teeth, he shoved me further out of his personal space.
“I thought about how I couldn’t save you.
About all the bodies I dropped because I couldn’t deal with the pain of losing you.
Those are the things that were on my mind at night, Ivana.
Shit tortured a nigga, and all this time…
I just been trying to get to the bottom of this.
Why it happened, how it happened, who was involved.
That’s the reason Harbor is even in my life. ”
“Harbor—” I scoffed, not even feeling the sound of that bitch’s name.
She rubbed me in all the wrong ways, and I didn’t have a legit reason to hate her.
She didn’t know me, and she didn’t come into my life and snatch my greatest love or child.
She fell under the spell of Frequency. I knew what that was like.
Even if you didn’t want to, that man knew how to draw you in like no other.
His hypnotizing eyes, and alpha male demeanor was everything that any woman could want.
A protector, a man that had her back against the world.
Regret swept over me like a fucking tidal wave. How could I ever doubt him?
“The fuck is that, Quency! You promised to always love me!”