Chapter 4 #2
“And I always will,” he insisted strongly.
“But we can’t go back, Ivana. The woman I thought I knew wouldn’t stay hidden all this time and not let me know something.
Our daughter suffered so much because of the both of us.
She’s finally in a good place, and Harbor has a lot to do with that.
She gave her confidence, and she listened to her. ”
“She’s still my daughter!” I shouted, fed up with all the talk about saint fucking Harbor.
“So you and that bitch can live the fairy-tale life if you want. I’m not going away.
And sooner or later, Harbor will feel the burden of being a mother figure for her when it inconveniences her.
The children she made with you will trump everything.
You just wait and see.” I forewarned, bitter and enraged.
Frequency lowered his head in defeat before moving it side to side. When our gazes linked again, disappointment shined in his.
“One thing I am sure of... is Harbor and her loyalty. She cares about Ivy more than she does herself. She would never make her feel like an outsider. Our entire relationship, she’s been walking light trying to spare our daughter’s feelings.
Things didn’t start off easy with them. It took time for Ivy to warm up to her, but eventually, she did, and now they’re closer than close. Ivy doesn’t need you disrupting that.”
“Disrupting a relationship with a woman that isn’t her mother?” I shot back at him, retrieving the knife from the counter.
He watched me closely, narrowing both eyes.
“What do you want here, Ivana? Give it to me straight? What was your plan? Were you ever going to come home and check for us?”
I didn’t have an answer for that or rather not one that I wanted to give him at this moment in time.
Things were a lot more complicated than he made them out to be.
Thinking about everything that happened to me during the time that I was away still left me with nightmares occasionally.
It wasn’t some rescue mission that carried me away to luxury, not in the least. I had gone through some dark times in order to come through on the other side.
“You wouldn’t understand,” I mumbled.
If I started opening up to him, I knew that the waterworks would flood. I didn’t have time for that.
“And what’s it going to change? Do you love me? Do you want to be with me? Or you content with Harbor?” The taste of her name on my lips was bitter.
I had never loathed or envied another woman in my life, but it was true; jealousy was indeed a sickness.
The thought of her with my man, with my child, was enough to drive me mad.
I needed a release, and I didn’t have many people that I could count on still in this life.
Gardenia wouldn’t even understand the darkness that now sat occasionally dormant; no one could.
“I moved on. That might not be what you want to hear, and I’m sorry if that hurts you, but it took a long time to get to where I am in life. Harbor is the biggest factor in all that. She made me a better man and a better father. I can’t shit on her just because you popped back into my life.”
“But you can shit on me for her?” I questioned, just so that we were clear.
“You willing to be honest and open up about everything that’s been going on? Why you were with Arrow so long, and what you want now that you’re here?”
His questions stirred me, but I wasn’t about to budge. I couldn’t be that girl, always betraying the men that protected me. I had already burned that bridge with him, so what was the point of trying to salvage anything? He’d made his choice in his precious, chaste, new little woman.
“I didn’t think so. I’ll take Ivy home. Let’s be clear on something right now though, whatever you’re hiding, I will find out. So if it’s something that you need me to know, you should tell me now. Because if I find out some fuck shit, that’s going to change the game.”
“Are you threatening me?” Stunned, a sharp pain shot through my heard and I glared at him across the counter.
“I’m giving you fair warning. It’s only a threat if you take it that way.” He obliged as Ivy came waltzing in with my sister not far in tow.
“Hey, Daddy,” she greeted him with a smile and warm embrace.
“Hey, baby girl. You ready?”
“Yup. I can’t wait to see the twins. I missed them so much. I’ll see you later, Mama.”
“Okay, baby girl. Call me. You know I am here for whatever you need. Let me know about those school performances, too. I would love to be there.”
“Okay. I usually only have them on Saturday, but if we make the regional competition this year, it will be a few times a week. I am really excited about it. Hopefully Harbor can help me come up with some new moves.”
“Mmm, well, good luck, baby. I love you.”
“Love you too.” Surprisingly, she came around the counter to embrace me.
It was quick, but it was the most affection she had shown in some time.
Quency gave me one last stare before he and my daughter left, and I stood there with my sister feeling like my entire life had walked out the door.
She rejoined me at the counter, raising her brows with questions dancing around her eyes.
“So how did that go?” she questioned.
“How do you think? He wants to know where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing.”
“Well, that’s a reasonable question. I kind of would like to know the answer to that as well.” She perked up. “What is the big secret? This guy… Arrow, he’s dead right? No longer a threat? So why protect him?”
“It’s not just about him, and you wouldn’t understand,” I grumbled.
“Then make me understand, Ivana. I am your sister. I mourned you for seven years. I deserve answers. You know all of my skeletons, so why can’t you tell me yours? There is nothing that you can say that will make me judge you. You know I’ve been through the mud.”
“Arrow had a proposition for me. I could live if I did him a favor.”
“And what was that?” Gardenia pressed, resting her elbows on the counter and leaning forward.
“He wanted me to marry his son,” I revealed, and her eyes doubled in size, looking like they were about to pop right out of her sockets.
“Wait, excuse me? Did I hear you right?” she questioned.
“You heard me just fine.”
“And what did you say? Why did he want you to marry him to begin with?”
“Some familial shit,” I responded. “And a way to stick it to Frequency.”
“And you agreed?”
“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be standing here.”
“Wait, so are you telling me that you are married?” Gardenia questioned with shock. “Well where the hell is this husband?”
“Around,” I said, watching my phone buzz against the granite countertop.
Sure enough, the display showed my husband’s contact info, and my heart lurched. I reached for the device and sighed before I swiped the bar across the screen to answer and put it to my ear.
“Hello.”
“I just landed. Send me the address. I’m coming to you. I need to know every fucking thing that happened to my father.”
“Okay, I will send it now.”
“See you soon, wife,” Mistro gloated through the phone.
I grew taut where I stood. Our relationship had changed over the course of the last seven years.
When we first met, I hated him like nobody’s business.
He was the enemy, along with Arrow. My tolerance stretched over time for Arrow, but the relationship that Mistro and I stumbled upon was something else.
He was the kind of man that got off on wielding his power over women.
He ran a brothel for his father in Miami, and soon, I became one of his top bitches.
Over time, I brought in so much money that I was promoted to be something like his right-hand bitch.
I kept the girls in line, me and the heroine that was being pumped into them whenever they did resist. The task was draining, but I spent so much time high that I became numb to it.
I slept with so many men in the last year that they all seemed to run together—a big blur of events.
That’s how it was some days, and I knew and could relate to the girls in the house more than anyone.
I was valueless at this point; at least that’s how I felt.
Every time some strange man entered me, he took a part of me that I could never get back.
Frequency was right about one thing: neither of us were the same anymore.
Chevy
The dating world had changed, and I wasn’t a fan of this shit.
Ledge and I were comfortable with each other.
Trying to get back out there and get to know another man was like a fucking job and not an easy one.
Plus, I had my kids to factor in, so that made it even more difficult.
Not a lot of men were interested in a woman with children.
For some reason, these fools had the nerve to think that made you either a whore or damaged goods if you were a mother already.
There were very few mature enough to accept that a woman with children majority of the time was a damn good woman and probably the best equipped to be with a real man because she had patience and was a nurturer.
I wasn’t asking anybody to take care of my kids; I did that just fine, and they still had an active father.
After the whole kidnapping ordeal, shit with me and Ledge hit a standstill.
I couldn’t forgive him for everything that he put me through, and he understood it.
He didn’t fight me on anything, which was surprising and slightly disheartening.