Chapter 8
AADEN
After sitting there in shock for a few minutes, I follow her up to her room.
I don’t know what the hell upset her so much.
Whatever happened, I need to fix it. I don’t like seeing her hurt.
I find her lying face down in her bed, sobbing into her pillow, and a deep ache settles in my chest. I cross the room and sit next to her, gently placing my hand on her back. “I’m sorry, Leah. I shouldn’t have—”
“It’s not you,” she mumbles, her voice muffled by her pillow.
“Then what is it?” I keep my tone soft, hoping it will encourage her to trust me.
It seems to work because suddenly, she sits up and throws her arms around my neck.
I embrace her, holding her tightly against my chest and caressing her hair.
A wild thought pops into my mind, and my entire body goes stiff.
My heart jumps in my chest, and my hand freezes mid-stroke. “Are you a virgin?”
With a chuckle, she pulls away from me and wipes at her cheeks. “No. I’ve been with two other men. Barely.”
Barely? What does that mean? I reach over and take her hand, needing more of an explanation. “Care to explain that?”
She stares at me, nervously chewing on her bottom lip. I’m not getting a good vibe here, and I really don’t like it. I grip her hand tighter, my jaw clenching as anger builds inside of me. “Did someone hurt you?”
My tone is harsher than it should be, but I can’t help it.
The thought of someone hurting her has me ready to commit murder.
The things this woman makes me feel have me confused.
I shouldn’t be feeling the way I do; she should be off-limits, but the more time I spend with her, the more I want her.
I’m starting to not give a fuck about the whole boss-employee thing.
Something tells me she is worth it, and I’d be a fool to let her slip through my fingers.
“Yes,” she practically whispers. “But not like that.” I stare at her, anger still flowing through me.
She takes my other hand, squeezing both as she inhales a deep breath.
“I was seeing a guy in California about two years ago. I was a junior in college. He was a senior. I helped him write a lot of his papers for his classes, and I made up study cards for him before his exams.” She wipes at her cheek, and my throat tightens as I watch her relive her past. “Most nights were spent in either his dorm or mine. We never really went out, and when we did, it was in the next town over. We dated for five months before—”
I squeeze her hand, silently encouraging her to continue.
She swallows before continuing. “I fell for him, really fast and hard. I couldn’t believe he wanted me.
He was popular, and every girl wanted him.
” She sniffles, and I reach over and grab a tissue from the box on her nightstand.
She takes it and wipes her nose. “I was in love with him. I thought the next step in our relationship was obvious. So, I slept with him after staying up all night studying for finals. God, I was wrong. Once he took his last exam, I…never heard from him again.”
Rage pulses through me. He blatantly used her. “Bastard.”
“Somebody told me a few days later that he had a girlfriend the entire time, and that was why he never took me out in public.” She dabs at her eyes with the tissue.
“He only used me to help him pass his classes. I was such an idiot.” I rub my thumb over the back of her hand as she closes her eyes, looking like she’s in pain.
My gut tells me there’s more, and when she clutches my hand tighter and lowers her head, I know I’m right.
But I am not prepared for what she says next.
“A month later, I found out I was pregnant.”
My entire body jolts. My grip on her hand tightens.
“I called him several times and left messages, but he never returned any of my calls. He never returned to school once he finished his exams, not even for graduation. I had no idea where he moved to. I was alone and scared out of my mind.”
I take a deep breath, my entire body feeling heavy. “Jesus.” What a fucking piece of shit.
She pulls her hands from mine, and the sudden loss feels wrong. Her features darken as she clutches her hands together in her lap. “A month after that, I-I had a miscarriage.”
What this woman went through has my head spinning. I can tell it’s still painful by the dull look in her eyes and the tone of her voice.
She shakes her head, seeming to struggle with her memories. “I took it hard. For months, I couldn’t eat or sleep. I didn’t tell anyone. Except for Madison. I almost flunked the first semester of my senior year.”
I reach up and take her chin, lifting it until she meets my gaze. “I’m so sorry, Leah. That guy is a dick.”
She nods, her chin quivering. “But it’s more than that.” Her eyes dart nervously between mine. “You’re my boss, Aaden. What almost happened downstairs—”
I slip my hand around the side of her neck and cup her face. “Don’t do that.”
She blinks several times. Her breaths are coming out faster. “Do what?”
I lean in closer, keeping my eyes locked with hers. I know what I want, and it’s her. “I don’t give a shit that you work for me, Leah. I felt a connection to you the moment I saw you.”
Her body goes completely still as she watches me. I stroke my thumb across her cheek; I can’t not touch her. “I’ve never had a connection with anyone before. I can’t walk away and ignore it. I don’t want to.”
“I’m afraid,” she whispers. “I’m afraid of getting hurt again. ”
Her words slice me open. So raw, so tortured. I lean in and press a soft kiss to her lips. I feel it in my bones. This is right. “I would never hurt you like that.”
I won’t push her into something she is not ready for.
But I won’t let her push me away simply because we work together.
I pull her into my chest when she sniffs again, holding her as I kiss the top of her head.
“I like you, Leah, a lot. I want to see where these feelings might lead us. We can go as slow as you want. I don’t give a shit as long as we don’t ignore this.
” Pulling her from my chest, I stare down into her beautiful eyes.
My heart aches with how much I crave her.
I want her in my arms every night, and I want to see her smile every day.
I want to spend every waking moment with her by my side.
For the first time in my life, I want a woman for more than sex.
“Tell me you want that, Leah. Tell me you feel this connection, too.”
Her chest rises and falls with her heavy breaths. Finally, she nods. “I feel it. The moment I saw you, I felt it.”
I smile, relieved I am not the only one. I press another kiss to her lips, lingering longer than I did the first time. When I break the kiss, I leave my forehead pressed against hers. “Let’s see where this goes.” I stroke her cheek again, and she shivers. “Just tell me you’re willing to try.”
She bites her lip but nods slowly. “I want to try.”
Excitement burns through me. Our lips meet again and desire surges once again, but I keep it under control. She is worth taking things slow. When I break the kiss this time, I pull her back into my arms.
We sit there for a few moments, holding each other. Having her in my arms feels better than anything I’ve ever experienced. When I feel her relax, I decide to press forward. I want to start learning everything there is to know about Leah Ward. “Who was the other guy?”
“What?”
“You said you’ve slept with two guys. Please, tell me the other one wasn’t an ass, too.”
“No.” She chuckles as she sits up and wipes the last of her tears from her face. She scoots back against the headboard, and I move up beside her. I reach over and take her hand to intertwine our fingers.
“That would be Grayson, my eighteen-year-old crush.”
“Hmmm, sounds like I’m gonna be jealous of this one,” I tease.
She lays her head on my shoulder and takes a calming breath. “We kind of hooked up at a party after my high school graduation.”
“You vixen.” I grin, nudging her with my shoulder. I need to lighten the mood and make the bad memories go back to where they belong—buried down deep, never to fucking return again.
She giggles. “He was really sweet. We had a few too many drinks, and one thing led to another.”
“Wait,” I interrupt, leaning away to look at her. Is she serious? “You lost your virginity to some guy while you were drunk?”
Her cheeks turn pink. “We weren’t drunk. Just very buzzed.”
My brows draw together. Has this woman ever had a good sexual experience?
“What?” she asks. “Drunk or not, it would have happened. When I found out that he actually liked me, I would have—”
My eyes narrow, and I’m a little thrown by the fact that I feel jealous of an eighteen-year-old kid. “I get it. You wanted him. Continue.” She laughs and slides down so that her head is lying on my chest. I tuck her into my side, loving the way she fits there.
“If you’re asking if I slept with him more than once, the answer is yes, but only one other time.”
One other time. Holy shit, she’s only— I suck in a quick breath. “So, you’ve only had sex three times? In total?”
She nods against my chest. My dick perks up at the thought of all the things I can teach her, but I force myself to remain in control. “Jesus Christ,” I mumble.
“I wanted more with him,” she says, shifting so she can peek up at me. “He went with me when I began birth control. How many guys his age would do that?”
I smile and raise my hand because I did go with my first serious girlfriend when she started birth control.
She laughs and twists her fingers into my shirt. “He enlisted in the Marines and was shipped out a few weeks after the party.”
“Lucky me.” I sigh.
She stares at me, her expression growing serious. “I want to take things slow, Aaden. I’ve just had bad experiences in the past, and I have a lot going on with my mom right now.”
I stroke my hand up and down her arm. I’d wait for her forever if I had to. Something tells me it will be worth it. “Then we take things slow. Just being here with you is all I need.”
“You’re sure?” she asks, studying my face.
I twist to face her fully, both of us lying on our sides. “I’m completely sure.”
Her face softens as she lets out a contented sigh. She slips her fingers between the buttons of my shirt, teasingly smiling up at me. “For now,” she says.
I grin. “For now.”
I kiss her forehead, and she snuggles against my chest. We lie there and talk for hours, and I’ve never felt this close to a woman before.
Not even the ones I’ve slept with. Leah is so much more, and while I’d love to bury myself inside her, I’m actually looking forward to getting to know her first. The build-up will make it that much better.
“You have a dog?” she asks. “I love dogs! What breed is he?”
I grab my phone and browse through a couple of pictures. “A German Shepherd. His name is Revis.”
“Awww, he is so cute,” she says, her voice going up an octave.
I scrunch my face. “He isn’t cute. He’s badass.”
“I think he’s adorable.”
“Little dogs are adorable,” I argue. “Revis is hardcore.”
She laughs at my defensiveness but concedes to my way of thinking. “Okay, agreed. Little dogs are cute. I’ve always wanted a pug named Gidget.”
“Gidget?” I laugh.
“Yes, Gidget. It’s precious.” She slaps at my chest playfully.
I shake my head. “A pug. Isn’t that one of those smushed face dogs that sounds like a pig?”
“Yes, I love it.”
“If you say so.” I pull her closer.
“I like this,” she whispers.
I close my eyes. “I do, too.”
And it’s the truth. We’ve taken a step toward a relationship, and I’m starting to picture something I never have with any other woman—a future.