Chapter 21
We gradually fell into a strange routine.
Day after day, I would go about my duties, walking through the gardens, riding, embroidering, studying foreign languages, while he simply followed behind me.
We ate every meal together, sitting at tables overflowing with food, yet neither of us had much of an appetite or any desire to speak.
We bathed separated only by a thin curtain, and every night we slept so close that I became convinced I could hear him shifting in his bed through the wall between our rooms.
When it was time for his daily training, I would once again sit in the same spot beside Meera, watching his every movement across the training grounds. And every single time he looked at me in that same silent way, warmth bloomed between my legs.
That was the only time he ever did.
Why only then, I never understood, though a part of me stopped caring. As long as he looked at me like that at least once each day, as long as he reignited that fire low in my stomach, my longing for him only continued to grow. So the days passed, and with them came the nights.
He followed me beneath the sun, while beneath the moon, my thoughts chased after him instead.
His hatred hurt me.
It filled me with sorrow, made me ache for his forgiveness, and forced me to confront every mistake I had ever made.
It dragged me back down from my tempestuous heights to earth and made me see the person I had been with painful clarity.
More than anything else, I wanted him to forgive me.
I wanted us to laugh together the way Meera laughed with Corian.
I wanted him to wear my colors with pride.
I wanted to tease him by placing a flower crown on his head, just as Meera had done for Corian, and watch him leave it there until every petal had dried beneath the sun.
I wanted him to be proud of being my knight.
More than that… I wanted him to be proud to be mine.