Chapter 45
My heart had been pounding the entire time as the servants gently removed every piece of clothing, careful not to damage a single layer.
Thankfully, the ball had ended in the middle of the night, just before sunrise, with the last dance being one I had not danced.
The glasses had been raised for me one more time, and a few more gifts had been presented, before everyone slowly began leaving the room and making their way toward their chambers.
Now, a mere hour before dawn, as the sky began to change color, my servants ran wet sponges across my back and chest, washing away every memory of the previous night. Every touch I hadn't wanted and every promise I had never wanted to fulfill.
The only thing I wanted to keep in my memory, the thing that would push me forward and give me hope for my own desires, was the lovestruck expression on my sister's face as she danced with her knight.
I had felt that something was happening between them for weeks, but last night was the first time I had seen it with my own eyes.
Still, the only thing I would do about it was learn from them how to hide from the eyes of the public.
"Princess, would you like us to wash your hair as well, or would you rather keep the braids?" one of the servants asked me, and I startled at her voice, pulled back into the room from my thoughts.
"Just undo them. Let it stay wavy," I answered after a few seconds of thinking, and she gently bent her knees, smiled pleasantly, and her slender fingers began undoing the tight braids. Another servant massaged my aching feet while a third applied creams and fragrant oils to my skin.
"Where is Ser Lysande?" I asked, glancing toward the now-drawn curtain and the empty bath.
For a moment, they looked at one another before the one who had been rubbing lotion into my skin answered.
"He didn't ask for his bath to be filled. I believe he's waiting outside the door, Princess." The mere thought of him made my skin prickle, something the servant immediately noticed. She ran a hand over my shoulder and looked up at me with concern.
"Are you cold, Princess?"
She turned, searching for something.
"I can bring you a robe or something else until we're finished."
Trying not to react at all, I simply waved a hand. "Thank you, Lizabeth, but I think we're finished here. Just let Iris finish undoing my hair, and I'd like to go to bed."
Since these were the three girls who slept in the servants' chambers between mine and Lys's, of course, alongside Welme, I added, "And you had a long day today. I know you rested while I was at the ball, but I'd like to reward you a little. Take the entire day off and go into the city for a while."
All three looked at me in surprise. "Welme already knows, and she'll give you a reward from me so you can treat yourselves."
As she undid the final braid, I rose to my feet, pressing my bare, slippery soles against the marble floor. I no longer knew whether I was shivering from the cold or from the thought that I would soon be alone with Lys.
"Thank you, Princess, but we can't accept that. It's too much," one of them answered slowly, while another handed me my dress instead of putting it on me.
I furrowed my brows, took the dress back from her, and she flushed, biting her lip as she lowered her gaze. "I want to reward you, and I order you to go. Take one or two male servants with you, if you're close to anyone, mostly for safety, and have fun. Return to the castle tomorrow evening."
"But what will the King say? You have many visitors, and you may have an audience with some of the guests. We need to be here with you," Iris said while Lizabeth helped me into my nightdress.
"Don't worry. Welme is here for all my needs, and if I need an audience, I'll ask Meera and her handmaids to make me company."
Adjusting the dress with my own hands and arranging the silk around my waist, I pulled my long hair free and shook it out behind me.
"Thank you, Princess. I don't know what we did to deserve this," the third girl, whose name I had forgotten, said.
I smiled at them, giving a small nod.
"Now go, quickly. Clean yourselves up, and Welme will be waiting for you in your chambers."
"Don't we need to go with you?"
"No. You said yourselves that he is outside, Ser Lysande. I'll be fine."
I slipped through the door and quickly closed it behind me.
I expected to hear his voice, but all that greeted me was the crackling of the fire in the long hallway.
I pressed my lips together, realizing that my heart had been racing for nothing, before nearly groaning when I understood that I had to start all over again in front of his room.
Still barefoot, with my hair loose and wearing only a thin nightdress, I walked through the empty corridors toward my chambers.
Thankfully, there weren't many of them, but the path was long enough for every good and bad version of my confession to Lys to run through my head.
Finally, or perhaps far too quickly, I saw the doors to my chambers and Welme carrying some fabric, bedding, or a pillow, I wasn't sure, into the room.
"Welme."
She turned at my voice and came toward me in confusion, looking behind me.
"Princess, where are your servants? Why are you alone? Where is your knight?" She asked all the questions so quickly that they seemed to blend into one. I took one of the pillows from her arms, tucked it beneath mine, and opened the door to my chamber, allowing her inside.
"The servants stayed in the bathing room, and Lys is in his room, I assume. I thought he would be outside waiting for me, but he isn't."
I followed her to the back of the room where she began placing the pillows and bedding into the wardrobe. She glanced at me from the corner of her eye and simply nodded before taking the pillow from my arms.
"Thank you, Princess," she said quietly, then turned back to arrange everything.
"Oh, yes. Take about fifteen silver coins from that petal up there and put them into a little pouch. When the servants come into the chambers, give it to them. I gave them the entire day off today."
I gestured toward the petal where I kept a small amount of money.
She stopped what she was doing and looked at me in confusion without asking anything.
Walking backward, I reached my bed and sat down, still watching her. I hadn't yet gathered enough courage to turn left toward the door leading to Lys's room. "And if you're not too tired, you can take the day off too." I shrugged with one shoulder.
"May I ask what the occasion is, Princess?" she asked in a strange voice, as though she was already hinting at something.
"Am I not allowed to send my servants on a well-deserved day off?" I asked, a trace of challenge in my voice. She closed the wardrobe, took a breath, and shook her head. She approached me slowly, almost as though she were walking toward a dangerous animal ready to attack.
"Princess, you may do whatever you want." I raised an eyebrow at her as she knelt before me. "But you cannot do it like this," she whispered.
"Can't I let my servants go take a rest?" I replied cockily.
"Princess, you need to be careful how you do these things. I am your servant, but I can freely say I am also your friend too. I would stand with you in the fire if you want to, but you have to be careful with what you're doing."
She took my hands, speaking quietly. "I know how you feel about him, and I believe he feels the same way about you. I try to understand it, but of course, it isn't my place to ever say anything. I'm only asking you to be careful because, truly, in the last few days, you haven't been."
She pressed her lips together and looked at me with a kind of courage in her eyes, though her face looked as though she expected me to snap at her.
Instead, I lowered my gaze.
"I've never felt like this before, Wel," I whispered, careful not to let my voice break. She smiled gently, and something I had never seen before shone in her eyes, as though she were remembering something.
"I know, Princess, but m—" Her eyes moved past me, and she stopped. "What is that?" she asked.
I turned to see what she was looking at.
My eyes fell on a small box resting on my pillow with a piece of paper wrapped around it. "Was it there when you came in?" I asked, standing and helping her to her feet. "I never entered your room. This is the first time I've been here tonight, with the bedding."
We both moved around the bed and stood beside the pillow.
I reached for the little box, but she stopped me.
"Wait, Princess. It could be something dangerous. I'll open it."
She took the paper and the little box into her hands.
She carefully unfolded the note, and her eyes moved across the words. For a moment, she looked confused, but then her entire face softened. She smiled and bit her lip, and when she looked at me, there was so much joy, happiness, and warmth in her eyes.
"What is it?" I asked in confusion.
She said nothing but opened the little box for a moment, smiled once more, closed it, and rolled the paper back up. She placed both into my hands, and I stared at her in confusion.
"Princess, please just remember what I told you." That was all she said before bowing and leaving.
For a moment, I forgot about the box in my hands, the ball, and everything else that had happened, and just stared at the closed door. Only when I felt the weight of the box in my hands again did I place it on the bed and unroll the little paper.
My eyes immediately filled with tears, and my heart began pounding like mad.
'My dear princess. I hope you have a blesed birthday and this prezent makes you happy. I know it is not much and i know its not worthy of you but i hope you will accept it.
Your knight Lysande'
I clutched the letter to my heart, tears filling my eyes, not only because of the gift but because of the fact that he had managed to write this.
I picked up the black leather box.
It was small enough to fit in my palm but heavy enough for me to feel its weight in my hands. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my frantic heart.
Slowly, as though I could break it with every careless movement, I lifted the copper necklace from the box. A small pendant, probably made from a small amount of silver, hung at the bottom, and when I brought it closer to my face, I saw that a tiny shell had been pressed into it.
My lips moved on their own toward the cold pendant, and I kissed it as tears fell down my face.
I jumped to my feet, still holding both the necklace and the letter, and ran toward the door. I opened it and rushed through the empty servants' chambers before running to his.
Without knocking, I burst inside.
"Lys!" I called, but no answer came by.
I stepped into the empty room, looking around, but Lysande wasn't there.