Chapter 3
ARIANA
The departure had been perfect. Obscure shadows painted the morning, reflecting the feelings of my soul, cold and dark. It provided a seamless atmosphere to dive into the depths of mourning.
My life had been forever changed by a cruel twist of fate.
The worst was that I had been warned. The Spirit told me of the difficult path ahead, and I had not heeded the prophecy appropriately.
Had I listened, then perhaps Landin would still have been living amongst us, making us laugh at his foolish jokes.
His laugh. I would never hear it again.
My shattered heart managed to crack further.
I numbly walked to the hot bath drawn for me, steam still rising from the water.
Gently, I removed Erik’s cloak, hanging it on a chair.
It smelled so much like him. The scent brought a sliver of life back into my broken and mangled soul.
The smell of him probably gave me more comfort than even the warmth the cloak provided.
Peeling off my dress, I dropped it on the floor before going to the tub.
Sore muscles contracted as the bathwater touched my cold skin, burning as I sank into the tub. I sat there, too tired to clean myself. After a while, my bones began finally warming.
A strange numbness enveloped me, holding me incredibly tightly.
I felt detached. Like I was not actually living my life but viewing it while moving amongst the world.
I was not myself and instead just a shell of who I had always been.
Some foreign version of a girl I never got the chance to be. I loathed it.
I wanted to feel something other than that numbness. Yet, no amount of thought, meditation, or attempt at escape allowed me to get past it. A deep dark wall imprisoned me with my pain. I feared losing myself to the cruelness of the world.
Death was not the end. Landin lived with the Spirit now in a land of light. Even though I told myself that, it did nothing to help me feel better. He was gone, torn away from my life and from Willis. My chest hurt thinking of Willis.
Moving a hand through the water, I felt the weightlessness of its pressure.
What I would do to drown out the noise inside of me.
Holding my breath, I dipped my head under, keeping it there until my lungs burned for air, forcing me to come up.
Rubbing the water from my face, my gaze landed on the cloak. Erik.
The anger of my decision had been written all over the Lysian King’s face when I informed everyone that I would soon leave for the Sidhe.
Did they genuinely think I wanted any of this?
I wanted nothing more than to remain with them.
To feel safe, surrounded by those I trusted and cared for.
But that was not what fate had planned for me.
What was fate but the sister to death? Fate wrapped the rope of life around every living being, weaving knots of trials, twists of fortune, and turns of heartbreak.
Over time the ropes grow heavier, dragging their bearers down, threatening to crush them beneath their weight.
And when the burden becomes too great, fate passes the soul to her brother, and death has his way.
Every destined path ultimately led to the same ending. Death.
Even Clause, with all his grandeur and control, would eventually find that his fate, in the end, did not differ from any other.
His vast power was not indefinite. I refused to believe he was an exception to this rule of fate and death.
If he wished to keep me close, then I would become his tether.
I would tighten the threads, weigh him down, and edge him closer to his own ending.
The water surrounding my body cooled, and I forced myself out of the tub. I moved with heavy limbs, feeling as though nearly all the energy leached from me. After struggling to put on clean clothing, I made my way to the bed, but rest never came.
No matter the exhaustion, my mind would not give me peace. Instead, it trapped me in a barless prison of thoughts. Ideas went in circles that never led anywhere. Around and around, in never-ending loops. I was going to drive myself mad.
A knock came from the door, startling me from one of those looping thoughts. Whoever it was did not wait for my response. They jiggled the handle, finding it unlocked, and strolled right in.
“Kiora.” I forced myself to smile. It was good to see a familiar face, giving me something else to focus on.
“Ariana,” she stated, no smile in sight.
Closing the door behind her with a kick of her foot, she made her way towards me, carrying a tray of food.
Wisps of heated moisture rose from the warm tea she was careful not to spill.
Setting the tray down on the table next to the bed, Kiora plopped down beside me. “How are you doing?” She asked.
“I have been better,” I admitted, looking at the tray before turning my attention to her. “You aren’t mad at me?” The last time we spoke, she had been livid.
“I am furious with you. But I can hold a grudge while still caring about a friend.” She brought her legs up onto the bed, crossing them at the ankles as she leaned back against the wall.
I mimicked her, leaning against the wall. “After all these years. I’m happy I got to see you again before...” My voice trailed off, for I was unsure how to end the sentence. Before I left for the Sidhe for who knows how long? It didn’t seem like a good topic to bring up with her.
“Just remember what I said. If you die, I will find you in the Spirit realm and kill you all over again.” Hazel eyes cut to me, and it was clear that she meant every word.
Despite her anger, a warmth in my chest spread at her presence. “I’m glad you’re here with me.”
She nodded, looking down at the tray between us.
“You know, I came here one time after the Sparrows were told to leave by your father. You were still young, as was I. I saw you with him, with Landin. The two of you were laughing about something, and I remember feeling such jealousy. It sounds silly now, but back then, it felt as though I had been replaced.”
Her words stunned me, for I never knew any of this. She returned? “Kiora, no one could ever replace you.”
She smiled sadly. “I know. Your heart is large enough to love more than one person. But like I said, I was young and didn’t know any better.
So, I left without you ever knowing that I even snuck into the city to see you.
Though I did not know Landin and spent most of my life secretly hating him, I also am thankful for him.
He was there for you when I was unable to be. And I am so sorry, Ariana.”
I reached for her hand, taking it in mine. “You have nothing to feel sorry for. Nothing.”
She smiled sadly. “Neither do you.” Her gaze settled on the tray of food and she nodded towards it. “Eat something. Tomorrow, you begin training, and you will need your strength to survive what we have in store for you.”
I moaned in mock protest, yet took a piece of bread and cheese and scarfed it down.
Kiora shifted lower in the bed and lay down beside me.
After finishing the bread, I joined her, and we both stared at the ceiling.
She said nothing, but her presence alone was a welcomed one.
Kiora felt like home to me, even though we had been apart for such a long time.
She was still my Kiora, and I was hers in return.
It was as though no time had passed since we parted years ago, even though we were now older.
Fate brought us together once more, and I feared where it would take us next.
I did not know how much time passed before Kiora finally turned onto her side and looked at me. “You know, that Lysian King is smitten with you,” she stated, a crooked smile finding its way to her lips.
I snorted. “Yeah, sure.” Yet, my face warmed at her comment.
Kiora bit her lip, a devious look in her eyes. “Have you two... you know.” Her smile morphed into a mischievous grin.
“What? No!” Not quite a lie. I never slept with him, which was what she was insinuating.
Her gaze narrowed even further. “Oh, please. I may not be a Lysian, but I am not blind. He is an attractive specimen, but more than that, I see the way you both look at one another. There is definitely something there. There’s no point in trying to hide it from me.”
I shifted onto my side, facing her. “And what way do we look at one another?”
“You both just respond to each other, like you orbit each other, drawn together. If I can tell, then Edda certainly knows it too. Do you deny you like him?”
“He is a Lysian King.” I sighed and turned, looking back at the ceiling. The memory of that early morning when he tried to sway my mind from ever going to the Sidhe territory sent a shiver skittering down my spine. I should have listened.
Kiora poked my side as if to try to get my attention. “So?”
“I am leaving soon.” I shared another reason why pursuing anything with him was unwise.
“And you will return.” She pointed out. For a moment, neither of us said anything. “Have you two kissed?”
“Kiora!”
“So, you have?” She sat straight up, staring at me while I continued avoiding meeting her eye.
“Look. He cares for you. I wanted to hate him. I did. For taking you from us, placing your life in danger. But everything he does, it’s like he is trying to protect you, to shield you from the world.
I know you are powerful in your own right, but something has Edda on edge.
Edda. I always thought there was nothing in the world that could startle that woman.
Yet, she is startled. I worry about what you still must face ahead.
If the Lysian King wishes to be your shield, to protect you from some of what heads your way, then you should let him.
Do not make things harder for yourself than they need to be. You no longer need to stand alone.”
“I don’t need a shield,” I stated, glancing at her.
“Don’t be stupid. I am your shield, and you are mine.
We all need people around us who will fight for us, especially when things are so uncertain.
You are my friend and my Leader Superior.
I would give my life for you if it came down to it.
” There was a certainty in her voice that left no room for doubt.
“And I would give mine for you,” I said to her.
She smiled a sad smile. “Deep down in your soul, I know that to be true. But, ultimately, you would not be able to because of the duty you have for your people.” Kiora laid back down. “If Erik offers help, then you should accept it. That is my official advice.”
“Noted.”
“And if he offers you his body...” She smiled suggestively.
Heat rushed to my face. “Kiora!” I snapped.
She shrugged. “Lysian or not, like I already stated, he is attractive. If he offered me his body... oh, the things I would do to him.”
My vision darkened, and Kiora barked a laugh. “So, you do care.”
Groaning, I brought my hands up to my face, rubbing my eyes.
“I don’t get it. You have no problem giving yourself over to the Sidhe, but this is something you are having such trouble with? What are you afraid of?” Her brows were drawn, and she looked at me as though she truly could not understand.
“This just isn’t the time to be concerned with such things.”
“There is no time like the present.” Her hand found mine.
“Where you are going, I have no idea how difficult it may be there. If it is anything that I fear, then you will need some powerful memories and moments to hold on to in order to survive. I say let the Lysian become your escape. It is not using him if you both care for one another.” A mischievous smile found her lips a new.
“I am certain he would be more than happy to distract you.”
I sighed. “I don’t know.” My thoughts went to Erik anyway.
“Well, you know my opinion on the matter,” she said, rising to her feet. “I need to get going. I should get some target practice in. Skills need to be kept sharp and the arrows true, especially when come tomorrow they will be aimed at you.” She winked before pivoting and walking to the door.
“Good luck.” I offered her a smile.
“Never needed it.” She smirked, pausing at the door. “If you need anything, you know where to find me.”
Kiora then left, and I found myself alone with only my thoughts for company.
They did not make for good company.
I only thought of Landin for a long while, of the hole in my chest left by his absence. It had been more than five days since his death, and still, I could not escape the thoughts of him. It was not that I wanted to forget him. I would never forget him. I just did not want to feel this way anymore.
My heart was broken.
A piece of me was gone and would never be returned. His absence left a void.
The sun moved across the sky while I remained in my room, consumed by everything that seemed to have been occurring around me.
I wondered what Clause would do with me once I came to him.
Would he genuinely teach me things to make me stronger, as he had said?
Would he try to use me in some way? Why did he even gather conjurors?
What was the point of taking our people?
There were so many things still unknown.
In the weeks to come, I’d do my best to answer as many questions as possible.
My thoughts shifted towards the Lysian, who continued to surprise me with his gentleness. Kiora had been right. Something did pull me towards him, and I did not seem able to help it.
Erik was predatory the way Lysains were always told to be, yet he was also kind and capable of compassion.
He drew me in until suddenly, he seemed to become a light in the darkness that surrounded me.
As much as I tried not to rely on that light, it was constantly there, warming my cold skin, and trying to melt my frozen heart.
Though it brought me warmth, it also brought danger.
A flame of light was helpful when managed and kept at a safe distance, yet he was not one to be controlled. Getting too close to a flame risked being burned. Was it worth it to brave that fire?
I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling while my mind continued its whirlwind of confusion.
Concentration eluded me, for I couldn’t think of one thing long enough to form a coherent thought or opinion.
My thoughts were made of shattered glass, and ideas bounced around like reflected light from a flickering flame.
A knock at the door pulled my attention, giving me something concrete to focus on.
“Come in.” I sat up.
The door opened, and Erik’s sapphire eyes found mine.