Chapter 40
ADELINE
Zach’s tongue moved against mine in deep, hungry strokes that ignited a wildfire in the very core of my being.
It should’ve been impossible, how completely he wiped the slate clean with only a kiss, but there was so much emotion in it that I even forgot how afraid I’d been that I’d severed our connection.
I melted into the circle of his arms, tilting my head back and kissing him with every ounce of the regret, gratitude, and love that exploded deep inside. Because that was the thing. I’d never stopped loving him. Not even for a minute. Even when I should’ve.
I’d given everything to my marriage with Louis, but the reality had been that I was deeply in love with Zach when the bomb of that arrangement had been dropped between us and I’d never really gotten any closure.
Despite all that, I’d tried with Louis. A part of me had definitely even developed feelings for him eventually, for a brief period of time, but those feelings had never held a candle to what I felt for Zach.
He was and always had been, in every sense of the word, my soulmate. There was nothing like the way he made me feel safe, loved, seen, appreciated, and so many other things that I couldn’t even find the words for them all as I kissed him back.
I trusted this man with my life, and although I desperately hated the extremely emotional way I’d reacted to Lu’s disappearance, I suddenly knew that he wasn’t holding a grudge.
Zach understood me better than most, and while I would keep apologizing, I already knew that he knew I had let the fear and overwhelm win that night.
His arm banded around my hips and he pressed me tight against him.
Desire spun through me. He was so damn hard, the length of him flush against my lower belly.
A quiet moan slipped out of me and he swallowed it, a needy, rough sound of his own rumbling through his chest in response, but he started slowing the kiss, obviously preparing to pull away.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer instead, taking a step back toward the hall. He didn’t move with me. A soft slightly tortured groan slid out of him before he spoke against my lips.
“We don’t have to, Adeline,” he murmured breathlessly. “I didn’t come here just to fuck you.”
“I know.” I kept a tight hold on him and tried moving again. A thrill raced down my spine when he followed this time, letting me kiss him as I tugged him down the hall. “We don’t have to, but I want to.”
“Do you?” he asked, sounding for the first time in his life like he genuinely didn’t know the answer.
I smiled against his lips, pushing my fingers into the hair at the back of his head. “I always want you, Zach. That’s never a question.”
Another groan came out of him. He kissed me again with renewed fervor and his hands dropped to the hem of my sweater.
He lifted it over my head so fast, it was almost like he was practicing a disappearing act.
I was so surprised that I laughed, but then that hand came back to my hip, his fingers flexing around it, and the laugh turned into a moan instead.
He shed his own shirt in one smooth, easy movement, and then we were skin to skin and I could feel the way his heart was pounding. My own was going completely nuts too, galloping and skipping between my ribs.
When he finally laid me down on my bed, he didn’t bother pausing to look around.
His attention was fully, completely focused on me.
He broke away from our kisses for a moment to look into my eyes, his eyelids heavy and his chest rising and falling fast. Then he lowered his head again and dragged his mouth along the column of my throat to my chest.
His tongue circled my nipples through the fabric of my bra, one hand traveling around my back to unhook it. As soon as he slid it off, his mouth was back on my chest. The heat of his mouth contrasted deliciously with the cool air of the room against my skin.
I ran my fingernails lightly across the strong bands of muscle in his back, writhing underneath him. He kept kissing me. His tongue, lips, and teeth teased my nipples into hardened peaks.
“Zach!”
As soon as I gasped his name, he released my nipples and kissed a path across my stomach, my hips, and unless I was very much imagining things, a few of those kisses were even strategically placed over my stretch marks.
I’d tried every cream and trick on the market back when I’d been pregnant and after, but the silvery lines remained, which was one of the reasons I’d been so self-conscious about him seeing me naked again.
Instead of putting him off, however, he seemed to be trying to let me know that he accepted me exactly as I was.
I relaxed into his touches. The slight tension that had vibrated through me as soon as I’d started thinking about the stretch marks eased and Zach moaned like he’d physically felt my relief.
He pulled my leggings off without his lips leaving my skin, trailing fiery kisses across my pelvis, my inner thighs, and then finally planting his head between my legs. I looked down at him, finding him already looking back up at me.
His features were slack, his hands firmly wrapped around my thighs. “I’m never going to get enough of you.”
“That works for me,” I murmured, stroking my fingers through his hair. “It means I never have to get enough of you either. Come here.”
“No.” He smirked. “I’m very happy exactly where I am.”
“I didn’t mean with your face, Zach.” I held his gaze, strangely exhilarated to discover that the bold vixen he’d unlocked deep inside me so many years ago apparently still existed. I’d thought she died, but it looked like she’d merely been in hiding. “Just turn around and come here.”
I saw the moment he realized what I was asking, his pupils growing huge and the tops of his cheeks flushing in excitement, but he didn’t move just yet. “You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
He slid backward off the bed and kicked off his shoes and jeans.
I arched an eyebrow when I realized he’d been going commando. “Were you planning this?”
“No, but it does make things easier.”
“Why were you naked, then?”
He shrugged, those lips spreading into another devilish smirk. He climbed back onto the bed and lay down on his back. “Are you going to keep asking questions, or are you going to come sit on my face?”
I nearly swooned, but I scrambled up on shaky legs and crawled over to him, quickly getting myself into position before I wrapped my fingers around the thick base of his cock.
He jolted underneath me as if the touch had shocked him, but the curses that left his mouth on a hiss let me know the involuntary jerk hadn’t been pain, but something else entirely.
God, I love it when he gets like this.
With that thought in mind, I opened my mouth and took him inside.
My eyelids fluttered shut as I cupped the underside of him with my tongue.
Zach cursed again, but then his mouth was on me, and soon, the only sounds in the room were our heavy panting breaths and wet noises that were driving me crazy.
He slid a finger into me just as he sucked my clit between his lips. I shuddered and suddenly sat up, climbing off him like a shot. Still panting, Zach frowned, his gaze following me as I spun around and straddled his hips instead.
“Condom?” I asked.
He jerked his chin at the corner of the mattress. “Right there.”
I looked over to see the package he must’ve had ready for this moment and I didn’t hesitate, tearing it open with my teeth and rolling it onto him. He watched my movements for a second, apparently fighting for control. Then he grabbed my hair when the protection was in place.
Those eyes were hazy when he looked up, his gaze latching onto mine with the same edge of desperation in it I was feeling too. “Hard?”
“Yes, please.” I braced my palms on his chest, falling into our old rhythm so easily that once again, it was like no time had passed at all. “Don’t be gentle.”
“Thank God.” He tightened his grip on my hair and grabbed hold of my hip when I lifted myself to get into position. I was barely there when he thrust up into me in one sharp, powerful movement. “Adeline. Fuck.”
My eyes nearly rolled back in my head, but I steadied myself by wrapping my fingers around his shoulders.
Zach started moving in earnest, seriously delivering on the promise he’d made.
It wasn’t long before he took over, flipping me onto my back and hooking my leg around his shoulder, hitting parts of me inside that I’d forgotten I even had.
Loud moans spilled from my lips, but since we were alone in the condo, I didn’t bother trying to hold back and neither did he. Zach could be as loud as me when he wanted to be, and it looked like tonight was one of those nights.
Between bruising kisses and backing off more times that I could count, I finally felt him surrender. Pleasure streaked through me in response. Both of us held on to each other throughout, riding out the waves together. Trembling in the aftermath, we collapsed onto the bed, still not letting go.
Zach pulled me to him, my head on his chest, and dropped a panting kiss on top of my head. “Can we agree to keep making up like that every time we have an argument?”
“You’ve got yourself a deal.” I smiled and pressed a kiss to his chest in turn. My heavy eyelids slid shut and exhaustion pulled me under before my heartrate had even slowed down.
When I opened my eyes again, it was morning and rays of sunlight stretched across the bed, painting golden strips on my plain white bedding and catching on the broad line of Zach’s bare shoulder where he lay beside me.
He was half propped against the headboard, his blond hair messy and one of his hands resting lazily over my hip beneath the blankets.
He was awake too, looking thoughtful. I started tracing absent circles along his chest, too comfortable, warm, and afraid that I was dreaming to move or even to break the silence.
There was still so much unsaid between us that it practically filled the room.
Regret, hurt, love, and fear spun my insides into a frenzy.
Zach glanced down at me. The corners of his mouth lifted as those green eyes fell to mine. “You’re thinking way too loudly for a Saturday morning.”
I snorted. “Sorry. I’ll try to keep my musings quieter.”
“I’d appreciate that.”
I smiled up at him, but now that I was fairly certain this was real and that I hadn’t been dreaming after all, nervous energy crept back in.
He seemed to be feeling it too, swallowing just a little too often for it to be normal and looking at me before his gaze would suddenly lift away and dart around the room.
It was still odd, seeing him like this. Like he thought he had something to lose and it terrified him.
Ever since I’d met him, the name Zach Westwood had been synonymous with confidence and certainty, but these days, it was interspersed with these rare moments of vulnerability that told me exactly what really mattered to him—and that was me. Me and the girls.
What he and I had was somehow simultaneously strong enough to withstand the test of time and to keep us coming back together no matter what, but also so fragile that it felt like we were balancing on a knife’s edge.
Zach’s thumb brushed slowly against my side before he cleared his throat. “So, do you still want to come look at the art today?”
I stared up at him and saw the cautious optimism in his eyes, a look he only ever used to get when he wanted something so badly that he became afraid of pushing too hard to get it.
Maybe I was just projecting my own feelings onto him, but I couldn’t help feeling like there was a secret clock ticking somewhere in the background now, counting down to some moment neither of us knew how to reach.
A moment when we would either figure out how or when to move forward, or call it quits for good.
“Sure, I’d love to take a look,” I finally answered. “Is that still okay?”
His gaze held mine before he nodded. “Yeah. Of course. I’ll go put on some coffee. At least we don’t have to rush today.”
That was a novel concept these days, for sure, but I suddenly found myself wondering if this was what we’d needed all along. Just one day, alone together, to figure out where we wanted to go from here.
And maybe even how to get there.