Chapter 41
ZACH
Westwood Manor looked exactly the same as it had ten years ago. I hadn’t really thought about it until I walked through the place with Adeline back at my side. Now that I’d noticed it though, it was a little unsettling.
Theo and I had been living here alone for over a year, and even before that, Dad had mostly stuck to his study and his wing of the house. We’d had plenty of time and opportunities to do stuff. Renovate. Redecorate.
But it had never even crossed my mind.
“It’s incredible,” she murmured as we moved through the main hallway. “Nothing has changed.”
She skimmed her fingers lightly over the edge of an antique side table buried under framed photographs and piles of Dad’s unopened mail. I glanced around but I already knew that she was right.
The same paintings still hung in the same places. The same furniture sat in the same places. Even the air smelled the same, the scent of old wood, polish, and faint, stale cigar smoke still lingering in the air around Dad’s study.
It had never stood out to me before because I was so used to it, but seeing it through Adeline’s eyes made me realize that my parents had moved in here to raise their family between these walls.
Then my mother had died, and after that, the place had slowly stopped being a home and started becoming a very expensive storage facility.
Although Theo and I still lived here, it was mostly a dumping ground for old art, gifts from clients, and other collectables no one was sure what to do with. “The only woman’s touch it ever had was Charlotte, and her room has since been turned into a pink-hued storage area.”
Adeline chuckled as we climbed the stairs to the attic. “You’re kidding. You mean to tell me that you and Theo haven’t been dying to redecorate?”
I knew she was joking, but I smothered a grin and arched an eyebrow at her. “If I’d let Theo loose in here, we would’ve had a nightclub in the living room, a motorcycle garage in the dining room, and sports memorabilia everywhere. Nobody wants that.”
She smiled, and warmth spread through my chest at how easy banter came with her, snapping into place like muscle memory. “Oh, I think you forgot about an escape room for Nate.”
I laughed. “He’d probably have a running track installed too.”
“What about Alex?” she teased. “A second office? Perhaps a library filled to the ceiling with books on strategy and business?”
“Definitely.” I led her up the narrow staircase toward the attic, flicking on the overhead lights as we stepped into the massive space. “Although Will would share that with him. You should see what he did to our mom’s townhouse. He’s basically got a library like that there already.”
Adeline stopped dead when she followed me in. “Oh my God.”
“What?” I twisted to face her. “The library? Yeah, I know. It’s ridiculous, but—”
“No, Zach,” she breathed, sweeping a hand out to motion vaguely around the room. “This. This is…”
When she trailed off, I turned back to the attic, taking in the dusty sunlight streaming through the small circular windows along the roof, illuminating rows and rows of paintings, covered furniture, stacked frames, sculptures, and wooden crates.
She walked forward slowly, bending over to inspect some of the paintings stacked against a wall. A soft, breathless sound came out of her before she straightened up again. “There’s priceless art up here.”
“Probably,” I admitted.
“Probably?” She stared at me like I’d crash-landed from space and had a green head. “Zach, that looks like an original Monet and I’m pretty sure the one next to it is a Vermeer. Those pieces are extremely rare. There are only around thirty-four Vermeer’s acknowledged to exist.”
My eyebrows shot up, but I shouldn’t have been surprised. “Yeah, maybe. I honestly don’t know. Dad got into auctions for a minute after Mom died. I guess it was healthier than gambling.”
“And you guys just, what, let it all sit here?”
“Yes?” I crinkled my nose and let out a deep sigh. “Judging by your tone, I’m assuming that was a mistake, but to be honest, none of us ever really questioned it. As far as I know, no one ever researched the pieces either. I know for a fact I didn’t, but I doubt anyone would’ve. Except maybe Nate.”
“Could you ask him?” Adeline asked as she moved deeper into the attic, inspecting frames with growing disbelief while I watched. “This piece alone could purchase a small country.”
I snorted. “Are you sure? It’s not even very pretty. The colors are so faded.”
“Because the paint is that old,” she said. “Trust me, I’m right about this.”
I laughed under my breath and wandered toward the back wall where old storage boxes were stacked nearly to the ceiling. I spotted a familiar label. Z.W.
“Oh no.” I’d gone through several of my boxes the night after I’d found out Adeline was back in town and they were right out in the open now.
She looked over immediately. “What?”
“My embarrassing youth.”
“It wasn’t that embarrassing,” she said, smiling. “I was there, remember?” Her grin widened as she crouched beside one of the boxes. “You were the best at most things and the captain of everything else. Maybe you peaked early, Mr. Westwood.”
I grinned at her. “Just for that, I’m leaving you in the attic.”
“You brought me here willingly, and you pointed these out to me.” She laughed as she dug through the boxes, finding our old yearbooks, trophies, and college textbooks. “I can’t believe you kept all this.”
“To be honest, I forgot it even existed for a long time.”
She finally sat back on her heels and brushed dust off her hands. “Why didn’t you ever get your own place after the apartment?”
The question caught me off guard. The truth was bitter on my tongue as it came out. “I moved back in here not long after we broke up. Theo had just graduated college and he was kind of going through a rough patch.”
“He was?”
I shrugged. “He was floundering pretty badly. I figured it made sense to stay close to him.”
All of which was true, but it wasn’t the whole truth. The other part, the real reason I’d moved out of that apartment and had come back home was sitting in the dust ten feet away from me, her hair backlit by a shaft of dusty sunlight.
Back then, after she’d married Louis, I’d suddenly felt completely untethered. I’d built so much of my future around her that when she was ripped away from me, I genuinely hadn’t known what would come next.
I didn’t say it out loud, but the thought lingered as I watched her move. Her gaze swept across not only the art but also the remnants of the life my family had once had. Having her see that was easier than admitting that living at home had been a lot less tricky than moving forward.
Nothing had really stuck after she’d moved away.
None of the relationships I’d tried had lasted long enough to have even earned the title.
None of my thoughts of buying a place somewhere in the city had materialized.
The full, ugly, hard truth of it was that some part of me had stayed exactly where she’d left it.
Before I could stop myself from asking, the question I’d wondered about a lot more often than I’d ever admit finally came out. “Do you ever wonder what things would’ve been like if you hadn’t married Louis?”
She chuckled softly. “Literally every day.”
My heart attempted to punch through my ribcage like an idiot when she smiled at me like she used to. It was a smile that had always felt private, like it was only for me. I almost said it then. I came so close to just telling her how I felt.
In fact, I almost told her everything—that I’d thought about her every day for eight years and that no woman had ever come close. That the reason I never moved out of the Manor wasn’t because Theo needed me but because every future I pictured without her in it felt wrong.
But even after the sex and all this time we’d spent together again, I wasn’t sure how she would react, so I kept my mouth shut like a coward.
Things were so fucking unsteady between us right now that I knew if I rocked the boat too hard—like by baring my soul to her, for example—it would tip right over.
Again.
“We should probably get out of here before the ceiling collapses and crushes us beneath several million dollars’ worth of neglected art.”
She looked over at me again, clearly amused. “That would be a very Westwood way to die.”
“Well, yeah. It would be tragic but tax deductible.”
She laughed and followed me back downstairs. By the time we reached the second floor, she’d slipped into work mode, talking me through auction houses and museums with an ease I hadn’t seen from her in years. There was a definite energy in her now, the kind of confidence I’d thought she’d lost.
“I can start cataloging on Monday,” she said as we descended the grand staircase. “If you want to sell, I have a few auction contacts who’d lose their minds over some of these pieces, but honestly? Local museums would probably be interested in showcasing part of the collection too.”
I stopped her halfway down the stairs and she paused a few steps below me, looking back over her shoulder after I’d tapped it. I wasn’t sure what I’d intended to say, though. There had been something, but when her gaze met mine, it flew right out of my head.
“I’m sorry,” she said suddenly.
I frowned. “For what?”
“For freaking out when Lu went missing.” She held my gaze intently.
“She scared me so badly, Zach. I just…” She trailed off for a beat, giving her head a sharp shake before speaking again.
“I feel like I keep ruining the girls’ lives.
Every decision I make somehow hurts them and I shouldn’t have taken everything out on you that night. ”
“You were scared.”
“And extremely overwhelmed by the thought of what might’ve been,” she admitted. “It’s not an excuse, but when we couldn’t find her, I was so afraid something really happened to her this time that I just broke.”
I moved slowly down another step, my voice softening instinctively as I reached for one of her hands. “Sometimes fear comes out as anger, not tears. I get that.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. You’ve been hurt, Adeline. You’ve been carrying all of this alone for years. Those girls are your entire world and you’ve basically had to parent them by yourself, but you’re not alone anymore.”
Adeline seemed to want to say something, but it was like she couldn’t quite force it out. I recognized the hesitation because it perfectly mirrored my own. She blew out a breath after a few long seconds and gave me tiny smile. “The girls really miss you.”
“I really miss them too.”
Part of me really wished it wasn’t as true as it was, but I honestly missed Jennifer’s nonstop commentary and Lu glaring at me like a disgruntled raccoon or something.
I missed hearing K-Pop Demon Hunters echoing through the house, pool toys scattered across the backyard, and crumbs in my brand new car.
As I walked her to the front door, I tried not to think about any of it, but it crashed through my head anyway.
She lingered for a second after I’d opened the door, like she was feeling the same thing, but she managed to shake it off a lot faster than me, offering me a slight smile after tucking her hair behind her ears. “Monday?”
“Monday,” I agreed, then stood there watching her leave until she’d disappeared from sight.
“You know,” Theo drawled from somewhere in the shadows of the room behind me.
“Most people don’t make mutual pining look this much like cause for genuine concern.
Fuck, I feel like I need to call a hospital, or a psychologist, or maybe Dad.
Do you want me to call Dad? Actually, no. Alex. Should I call Alex?”
I nearly jumped out of my skin, snapping as I spun around. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
He stepped fully into view, holding an apple like a fucking forest goblin. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I forgot you were here.”
“I do live here,” he said easily. “Are you okay?”
I shook my head. “Please go away.”
“No.” He took a bite of the apple. “Have you tried therapy?”
“No.”
“Have you tried just growing a pair and telling her how you feel?”
I glared at him and headed to the kitchen instead of answering. He let out a dramatic sigh behind me. “Why are you acting like you were emotionally stunted at thirteen instead of twenty-three? Fuck, man. I know some teenagers with more game than you right now.”
“If you know teenagers, we have a problem.”
He laughed, following me as dutifully as if he’d been invited. “Hey, I help out the high school coaches sometimes. You know that. I’m not even joking either. Some of those juniors would’ve had her locked down by now and you’re…”
He didn’t say it, but there were about a dozen words I could think of to finish the sentence. I’m failing. I’m scared. I’m fucking pathetic and I know it.
I could negotiate billion-dollar deals without missing a step, but the thought of telling Adeline I loved her still terrified me more than anything else on earth. But it was mostly because she was the only person alive capable of actually breaking my heart.