33. Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Three
Parker
I opened the door of the Pink Diamond and tiptoed inside. Ryan had told me he had seen her earlier and she seemed a little disoriented and pale, but otherwise fine. That was a good sign. When Franny got sick, it took people one glance to figure out she had a serious illness. And yet I needed to see Madison with my own eyes.
I gave her a few hours of uninterrupted sleep, but the fear I used to feel for Franny hit me with full force. It was like I was back in time and dreading falling asleep, because she might die while I slept.
A voice inside my head kept reminding me that people got sick every now and again and it didn’t have to end with me standing at a cemetery. But fear overrode every logical thought, and I snuck into The Pink Diamond .
I found Madison snuggled up under the covers in the dark room. Not wanting to wake her, but unable to leave her alone and go to The Blue Diamond, I took my clothes off as silently as I could and joined her under the covers.
My hand found hers in the darkness. Our fingers entwined without any effort.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” She curled closer to me and her eyes fluttered open, revealing puffy red rims and swollen eyelids. “Have you been crying?” She shook her head and I had the feeling she was lying, so I pressed her. “Your eyes are swollen.”
“Allergies,” she croaked.
“I thought you were sick,” I placed a hand over her forehead. She definitely didn’t have a temperature.
“I told you I just needed to sleep it off.”
“Sleep then,” I said and held her closer to me. I wanted to protect her from everything that could possibly harm her. My past had shown me that I would never be able to protect her from everything, but I wanted to be her safe place. I wanted her to come to me and not hide alone in her bed.
I ran my hand through her hair. My heart beat slowed down eventually and with her body pressed against mine, the fear that had consumed me minutes earlier was slowly fading away, replaced by sleepiness.
“Thank you for coming,” she whispered into the silence, her voice barely audible.
“I will always come, if you let me.”
She didn’t answer. The next morning I woke up to an empty bed. The water in the bathroom was running. I got up and contemplated on taking off my briefs and joining Madison in the shower, but neither of us had eaten dinner last night and I assumed she was as hungry as I was. So I called room service and ordered enough food to feed a volleyball team.
By the time Madison got out of the bathroom forty-five minutes later, the food was already on the kitchen table getting cold and I was sure she was avoiding me. The only thing that wasn’t clear was why.
“Good morning,” she said, polite as always, but her eyes didn’t meet mine.
“Good morning,” I answered, not making the slightest effort to hide my annoyance.
Madison pretended not to notice and that just confirmed my suspicions that something was up.
“Feeling better today?”
“Yes. Thank you for asking.”
Her icy, distant tone only confirmed my theory. She didn’t want me here.
Last night, the fear of losing her to something I couldn't control took place inside me, and this morning she reminded me that she wasn’t even mine to lose.
“Why are you talking to me like I’m the neighbor you don’t want to socialize with?”
She finally looked at me, pain visible on her face. “It’s just that… things have been a little… overwhelming lately. And… I don’t like to show weakness.”
“Being sick isn't a weakness.” I paused, searching for the right words. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to put on a front around me.”
Madison paused and looked like she was lost. Like she didn’t know what to say. I had never seen her so confused before.
“It's hard for me to let my guard down,” she said eventually. “That’s hardly a surprise for you. ”
I came closer to her and took her face in my palms. “You don’t need to be perfect all the time, love,” I reassured her. “Certainly not with me. I don’t need perfection. I need something real.”
She nodded absentmindedly.
“Are you really feeling better? Do you need to see a doctor?”
“No. I'm fine. I just needed some rest and now some food in my stomach.”
We ate in silence for a while, then I decided we needed a safer topic of conversation, because it was clear she wasn’t going to open up to me.
“What do you want for your birthday?”
“To get me out of that birthday party as soon as possible.”
I grinned at her. “Got it.”
***
“Is that a thing now? Being late and using your kid as an excuse?” Madison teased her sister when she finally arrived with her husband an hour after everyone else.
Instead of taking offense as she usually did whenever Madison was involved, Clem smiled and passed a cardboard box with her bakery’s logo on it to Tyler. “Occasionally.”
“Is that the cake?” I asked.
“Yes,” Clem smiled. “No peeking. It’s a surprise.”
“It’s such a relief not to have to take care of your birthday cakes,” Sylvia chimed in. “Everyone always complained about something.”
“Because you always messed something up,” Tyler winked at Clem.
I leaned over and whispered in Madison’s ear. “Your mother used to mess up your birthday cakes? ”
“Don’t go there.” She sent me a warning look and I made a mental note to ask about that later when we were alone.
I kissed her neck. She got ticklish and giggled as I expected her to.
“I knew that would happen,” I said.
“Why do it then?”
“Because it’s cute.”
“Wow, I’ve been called a lot of things, but cute isn’t one of them.”
“Well, there is a reason for that,” I joked.
“Ha,” Madison slapped my forearm playfully. “Are you saying I’m not cute?”
“Yes.”
“You can’t talk to me like that. It’s my birthday.”
“What can I say? I’m an honest man.”
Something flashed in her eyes at my words, but she continued the conversation with a much louder tone. “You’re an asshole. That’s what you are.”
“Madison!” Sylvia gasped. She didn’t know that her daughter had started to loosen up lately and I loved seeing the shock on her face. I was proud I had something to do with that. Maybe that made me an asshole too.
Madison simply ignored her mother but not in her usual stiff way. She looked comfortable and unapologetic about her slightly less ladylike behavior and I loved it.
“You’re not cute, love. You’re stunning. The most beautiful woman in every room. People can’t stop staring at you. You don’t need to be cute.”
“Hmm… Keep going,” she smiled sweetly, waiting for more compliments.
“Okay. You’re also a pain in the ass. ”
“You two look cozy together.” Hannah’s voice interrupted us. I had been refraining from looking at her for too long, afraid of what the image of her huge pregnant belly could do to my psyche, but there was no escaping her now.
“Don’t they?” Sylvia batted her eyelashes in our direction. “I’m hearing wedding bells already.”
“Have you ever not?” Madison asked her mother.
I smiled at Hannah and hoped no one could see my discomfort. “You’re glowing.”
She cradled her belly lovingly. “I can’t wait to meet him. Another month or so.”
Somewhere in the back of my mind I remembered that I hadn’t yet told Madison about my son, but maybe telling her on her birthday wasn’t really the best moment of revealing yet another miserable story. And we were getting closer to Annie Foster’s wedding day and that put a lot of pressure on her. My son’s story had to wait a bit longer.
“Both Tyler and I are so scared that we’re totally going to fuck this parenting thing up.”
“Young parents fuss too much nowadays,” Sylvia said, earning herself death glares from all three of her children. “I didn’t fuss that much and all my kids turned out to be functioning adults.”
“I’m sure you’ll be a great mother, Hannah, and my brother will be an amazing dad,” Madison said and surprised all of us with how genuine that statement sounded.
“Thank you, Maddie,” Hannah nodded and then excused herself to go to the bathroom.
Sylvia asked Clem about Daphne, and Madison and I had a moment of privacy.
She looked at me warily and asked, “Do you want to have kids? ”
The question hit me out of nowhere, but I managed to stay calm. “Yeah. I… I’ve always wanted a family.”
Madison looked at me like she was waiting for me to continue, but there was no way she knew, right? It was true that the others knew, but they were always so delicate about it, I doubted anyone would say something to her. Not to mention I specifically asked Tyler not to say anything. And she barely saw them. I was there almost every time. Also, she wouldn’t just pretend that she didn’t know. If she knew, she would have said something.
I didn’t want to lie, but I also wasn’t ready to talk about my son. And the timing was awful. It was her birthday party and her entire family was here. It would be a repeat of the Christmas dinner and no one needed that.
“How about we try to find out what’s in that box your sister brought?” I offered with a smile. “Hey, Clem? Time for cake?”
Clem looked between me and Madison. “Isn’t it early?”
Madison shrugged. “It’s fine by me, as long as no one sings ‘Happy Birthday.’ Oh, and I’m not blowing out any candles.”
“You’re a buzzkill,” her sister murmured.
“And the birthday girl. You have to respect my wishes.”
A few minutes later, a waitress brought out a piece of cake for everyone, including Madison.
“Are you going to eat it? Because it looks delicious and I wouldn’t mind eating yours too.”
When she didn’t answer, I looked up and found her and Clem sharing a look.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
Lucas answered first. “It’s a raspberry cake.”
“Is that important?”
“It was Madison’s favorite when we were little,” Clem explained .
“A perfectly good cake,” Tyler added and everyone except Sylvia and I burst out laughing.
“What am I missing?”
“Stick around and you will find out. No doubt about that,” Sylvia looked at her children with disappointment.