23. April
Did meeting Julian’s friends mean something more? I’d been asking myself that since he asked me to have dinner with his teammate and his wife. Did meeting the people in his life mean that we’re moving beyond sex? Was that a good idea? The questions ran through my mind as I stared at my reflection. Maybe I was overthinking things. Dinner with his friends didn’t have to be a big deal.
“It’s not a big deal,” I told myself. That way I wouldn’t freak out and embarrass myself at dinner. I had to remember to keep it cool so I wouldn’t turn into an awkward mess. I hated social gatherings no matter how small. Taking a huge breath, I smoothed my hair then my little black dress that hugged my curves… a little too tightly now that I took a good look at myself. Hopefully, the dress and red and heels weren’t overkill. I assumed that we’d be going someplace fancy and expensive, and I couldn’t get away with my usual colorful ensemble.
Squaring my shoulders, I aimed for the door. When I got downstairs, Julian was already waiting in the living room. He was on his phone when I descended the last step.
“Yeah, we’ll be there in about forty-five minutes,” he said before he heard the click of my heels on the hardwood. The second he turned around, his eyes widened and the phone dropped with a thud. “Shit,” he hissed before quickly scooping it up.
Straightening his jacket that he wore over a button-down shirt and slacks, he visibly swallowed. Assessing him with an appreciative gaze, I felt more comfortable with my semi-formal choice of dress.
“April…” He looked me up and down in that heated way that lit my insides on fire. “Hot damn.”
Those two words brought a smile to my lips and made my stomach flutter. Heat consumed my face but it wasn’t the usual heat of embarrassment. It was a pleasing warmth that engulfed me entirely. No man had ever looked at me with such desire before. Not one that I’d noticed at least. I loved the way Julian made me feel beautiful with his flirtatious one-liners and the hungry, predatory look he got in his eyes when he looked at me.
“Thanks,” I said softly, smoothing a hand over my short dress. When was the last time I got dressed up like this and had a man looking at me all googly-eyed? I practically lived in scrubs twenty-four-seven back home. Dressing up and having my appearance being appreciated by a man felt nice.
“I’m thinking we should stay home now,” Julian said.
“Why? Is something wrong?” Worried, I gazed at him.
“Nothing’s wrong. I just want to keep you all to myself.”
Satisfaction coursed through my veins. There was a tingle between my legs too. Staying here and indulging in our desires all night sounded like a marvelous idea. “You could. I certainly wouldn’t mind.”
Julian grinned. “As tempting as that is, I did promise Jeff we’d join them. He’s really excited about this double date. Plus, I know you’re trying to get out of interacting with strangers, Flower Child. I won’t allow it.”
My lower lip sticks out in a pout. It was worth a try. I know Julian is low-key telling me what others have verbalized. I need to get over high school and put myself out there. Socialize, make new friends. If only it wasn’t so nerve-racking.
* * *
We walked into the restaurant, and Julian helped me out of my jacket. The weather in Montreal was milder than I expected at the end of September, but there was a chill in the air that promised a very cold winter. Warily, I studied the room. It was five-star with a ma?tre d” and valet parking. The patrons all looked and smelled like money. I immediately felt out of place.
This wasn’t my scene. I preferred tiny cafes, hole-in-the-wall diners, and lounging with my sisters at home, downing cocktails and pigging out on unhealthy snacks. Julian’s world seemed extravagant and scary. I didn’t belong in it. Maybe if I stayed with him long enough, I’d have to hang out with movie stars or other famous people. The thought made me shudder. Maybe the skeptical part of me was just trying to find more reasons not to give Julian a chance. I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that I wanted to turn around and leave.
“You alright?” Julian asked, gazing at me with a frown.
“I’m great,” I squeaked. I was far from great. My palms were getting sweatier by the second. Was there a cure for severe social anxiety?
Sharp eyes moving over my face, he gave me a dubious look. “Liar.”
I pursed my lips. “Fine, I’m nervous. What if your friends don’t like me?”
“First, I wouldn’t care because I like you plenty. Second, it’s impossible for anyone to know you and not like you. Relax, Jeff and Sophie don’t bite. They’re nice people.” Smiling, he placed a palm on the small of my back. “Besides, you’re with me. I’ve got you.”
His confidence was enough to boost mine, and his touch was enough to soothe my raging nerves. Letting out a breath, I began to relax significantly. I stole a peek at him through my lashes as we strolled further into the restaurant. It would seem Julian was my cure for severe social anxiety.
Before we reached the table with a blond man and raven haired-woman, I felt Julian tense. He couldn’t possibly be nervous too. I glanced at him and saw the tight set of his jaw. He looked annoyed. “What’s wrong?” I asked.
“It’s nothing.”
Then I saw the flash of light coming from a corner of the room. It was the flash of a phone’s camera. I placed a comforting hand on his arm. “It’s okay, Julian. I’m fine with it.” That was a half-truth. I most definitely didn’t want to end up on ET Canada or the cover of Star Magazine.
“How do you know…”
That he was upset on my account about people taking pictures? I knew because I was quickly learning that he actually cared about me. It was sweet. “I just know. Let’s just enjoy dinner no matter who snaps pictures. Okay?” He’d comforted me so I figured I’d return the favor.
He smiled. “Okay.”
After that, I had an amazing time. Sophie and Jeff were so down-to-earth that I felt like I was interacting with people I knew from my small town. I didn’t know why I assumed they were rich, snooty folks. Now, I felt guilty because Sophie was an absolute darling. She reminded me of my mild-mannered, compassionate sister, Tessa. Jeff kept giving me quizzical looks, after which he’d turn to Julian with a smirk, but he was nice. I did wonder what the secret looks that passed between the two men were about.
“April, you have to come to the party I’m hosting before the season starts.” Sophie beamed at me across the table. Her smile reached her dark brown eyes. “I do it every year as kind of a farewell to Jeff.”
“Farewell?” My brows drew together.
“For eight months out of the year, he belongs to the Montreal Canadiens.”
Jeff chuckled. “Babe, that’s if we make it to the final, right captain?” Twinkling gray eyes swiveled to Julian who scowled.
“Christ, Jeff, give me a break, will you? I feel pressured enough.”
Under the table, I rested a hand on his thigh and squeezed reassuringly. It was a subconscious action because I have this innate need to comfort everyone. When I realized what I was doing, I didn’t bother pulling away. Unexpectedly, his hand covered mine and warmth spread up my arm to the rest of my body. I’ll never understand why his touch has such an effect on me. His thumb moved, creating small circles on my skin.
It was incredible how such a delicate action instantly lit a fire inside of me. Inhaling deeply, I reached for my glass of water because I felt as if I’d go up in flames at any second. Squirming in my chair, I tried to ignore the fact that I needed a change of underwear because of Julian’s slight, innocent touch. Instead, I tried to pay attention to what Sophie was saying. She was still going on about the party.
I stole a glance at Julian. He wasn’t looking at me. He seemed intent on what Sophie was saying but he wore the smallest smirk on his lips. Anyone else might have missed the mischievous curve of his lips, but I knew him well enough to know he was up to no good. My eyes narrowed. He knew what was happening to me. That the lazy circles he made with his fingers were getting me worked up. Suddenly, I pictured his thumb moving over my clit in the same way. I coughed after my next sip of water and Julian’s smirk became more pronounced. I guess his touch wasn’t so innocent after all.
Sophie seemed oblivious to the simmering tension between Julian and me but Jeff was looking at us with a raised brow. Did he know we were touching each other under the table? Horrified and embarrassed, I tried to snatch my hand away from Julian’s thigh. His hold on me tightened, thwarting my escape.
A little miffed, I schooled my features and smiled at Sophie. It was hard to focus with Julian still touching me but I managed. I was being invited to Sophie’s place so I guess I didn’t crash and burn as I thought I would tonight. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t be around to attend.
“So, what do you say?” Sophie smiled at her husband and then at Julian and me. “Will the two of you come?”
“That sounds great, but I doubt I’ll still be here. I mean, I have to return to Nebraska.” The words caused a sinking feeling in my stomach. I’d leave Julian. I didn’t know why I felt so sick about it. We weren’t together. The realization hit that I’d become too attached the two months I’d been with him. No, attached wasn”t the right word. I’d become addicted to him. Completely hooked. How on earth did I allow that to happen in just weeks?
“That’s too bad,” Sophie said, sounding genuinely disappointed.
Julian’s thumb had stopped moving over my skin. His hold on my hand had loosened too. From my periphery, I saw that his jaw was tight. Maybe he didn’t like the reminder that in a matter of days, I’d be gone. I wasn’t sure.
Sophie sighed and rested her chin on one hand. “I was hoping we’d get to hang out again, April. I’d love to hear more about Oakland and your sisters. Five of you. Imagine that. Growing up as an only child, I had always wanted siblings.” She sighed again. “I can’t believe I’ve finally found someone I feel comfortable hanging out with, and she’s leaving the country.”
I gawked at Sophie. She wanted to…hang out? With me? Holy hell on toast, did I just make a friend who wasn’t my sister, Margaret, or Cathy? It might not be a big deal to anyone else, but to me that was huge. Suddenly, I didn’t feel so socially inept. I was thrilled. “Er...well...I don’t have to leave until after the first game of the season.”
Julian turned to look at me with surprise. It could have been my imagination, but I think I saw relief in his eyes. “You don’t?” he asked.
“I can stick around a little longer,” I said, shyly, willing myself not to blush when I felt Julian’s curious gaze on me. Admittedly, it wasn’t just the thrill of a potential friend that made me want to stick around. I was trying to buy more time with Julian without making it so obvious.