24. Julian
Two more weeks with her was awesome but hardly enough. It wasn’t like I’d never see April again when she returned to Oakland...it’s just that seeing her once in a while wouldn’t be enough. Especially not after I’ve gotten to taste her. There was no getting enough of her, and I realized that from the first time I had her.
I’ve never been into any woman enough to want to call her my girlfriend, well not since high school, but that’s what I wanted with April. I wanted her to be my girlfriend, my lover, my significant other…Whichever one meant I got to have her completely. I wanted her to be mine and mine alone. Commitment, that’s what I wanted. And it was something I didn’t know I’d want at this stage in my life. I figured I’d continue having fun for a few more years before settling down and turning into...well, Jeff.
The man was committed to his Sophie. Ever since that dinner, he hadn’t shut up about how much he loved her. Before April and my growing feelings for her, listening to him would have made my ears bleed. Now, hearing the love resonating in his voice when he spoke about his woman was so damn sweet. Man, April had me twisted in all kinds of knots. I’d turned into a fucking romantic.
“April is into you, man.” Jeff grinned like an idiot as we strolled out of Bell Center, our home stadium. We’d been practicing like hell for the approaching first game of the season. I used to feel this overwhelming anxiety about the start of the NHL season but not this year. This year, I had April with me, in my home, comforting me with her very presence. It was hard to feel anxious about much when I had her naked in my bed almost every night.
“Yeah, I got that Jeff.” Or else she wouldn’t jump my bones every time I walked through the door. April was a wild one. After coaxing her out of that shell she used to hide in, she’d become insatiable. She was down to go at it like savages in every room and on every surface of my house. My kind of woman. I did not want her being that way with anyone else. The thought made the jealous he-man inside of me see red. That side of April should be mine alone. However, she wasn’t mine. Not really.
We’d become stuck in the friends with benefits zone it seemed. Neither of us had said a word about what we were doing or where we wanted to take things relationship-wise, and it was driving me crazy. One thing I hated was being left to wallow in uncertainty about anything.
“No, I mean she’s really into you.” Jeff and I moved through the parking lot to our vehicles. “The other night at dinner, she looked at you with hearts in her eyes,” Jeff stated.
My brows drew together and doubt overshadowed the hope I felt over his comment. I was pretty sure he saw it wrong. April didn’t want anything too serious. She’d said as much. “I’m going to go ahead and correct you. She was looking at me with lust.” That was what our relationship was to her. Sex. “I don’t think she sees me as anything more than a good time for the moment, Jeff.”
“Well, you have nobody to blame for that but yourself,” he admonished. “Mr. I-run-through-models-and-pop-stars-by-the-dozens.”
Gritting my teeth, I embraced the burn and took accountability. “I dated one pop star.” If going out a few times even counted as dating. Anyway, it only lasted about a month for goodness sake.
“Right. Because that makes you look like less of a manwhore.”
“You know what, Jeff? Fuck you. I’m trying to change my image.” I glared at him, which only boosted his amusement. All I could do was sulk because, damn, he was on to something. Why would a sweet, wholesome woman like April trust a man glamorized in the media as a philanderer?
“I know. Hey, don’t take any offense. I was just messing around.”
“Yeah, but you’re right.”
He shrugged. “I know how it is. People see some glamorous snapshots on social media and think they know the real story.”
“Yeah,” I grumbled, ready to get off the topic of my dating history. I was all about one woman now. “Even if April saw me as someone she could trust, she isn’t ready to settle down.”
“How do you know? Have you asked her?”
“No.” I knew the deal, though. Something about her mother trying to brainwash her and her sisters against relationships. Apparently, she had a lot of doubts to work through. But Jeff didn’t need to know the things April shared with me.
Snorting, Jeff shook his head. “Don’t tell me you’re so pussy-whipped that you”ve lost your good senses, Grayson. That’s something you discuss with the woman you’re dating.”
I blew out a breath. Why bother to remind him that April and I weren’t dating? Well, we were in my eyes. Maybe I should man up, tell her what I wanted from our relationship, then ask her what she wanted. Then again, I didn’t want to scare her off.
“You kids nowadays,” Jeff grumbled, shaking his head with disappointment. “You don’t communicate.”
I snorted. April and I communicated plenty. In the last few weeks, I had opened up to her more than I had with anyone else. She shared a lot with me too. However, we both kept shying away from discussing what exactly we were doing together. “Kids? You’re a measly eight years older than I am. You’re talking like you’re a grandpa.”
Groaning, he rolled his right shoulder and winced. “I feel like a grandpa after these practices. It’s definitely time for me to hang up my ice skates. This is my last year doing this shit. I love the game, but it’s starting to be a real bitch to me.”
Chuckling, I eyed the poor bastard with sympathy. The game even took a toll on guys much younger. Sometimes after a game, I felt like I was in a boxing ring rather than in an ice rink. I even suffered about two concussions last season. “Yeah, I think…” I almost blurted out that I was thinking of retiring too but stopped myself. I wasn’t quite sure yet so I should keep it to myself. “I think you put in enough years, old man,” I said instead.
Jeff bellowed. “I’ve made enough money to sit at home and take up knitting or whatever retired folks do.”
Picturing burly Jeff knitting made me snicker. “Yeah, okay, grandma. I’ll get you a rocking chair as a retirement gift.”
Jeff roared, taking the teasing good-naturedly. He clapped me on the shoulder. “I’ll see you later, Grayson.”
* * *
My conversation with Jeff, especially his questions, played in my mind for days. He’d asked how I knew if April wasn’t up for something serious with me. Every moment I spent with her, I was tempted to ask her if she wanted something more. Of course, I chickened out every time. Because my mind was completely consumed by all things April, I was crashing and burning big time for the season’s opening game. In fact, I was doing so horribly that I was currently sprawled on a bed in the medical room.
Blinking, the darkness that had engulfed me cleared and the face of an angel came into view. A very worried angel it seemed. I groaned and tried to smile but it probably looked more like a grimace. “Damn, if I’m going to wake up to your lovely face, I should get knocked out cold more often.”
April sighed. “I can’t believe you”re joking around at a time like this.” Her lovely features were creased with lines of worry. “You’re crazy.”
“Crazy about you,” I said under my breath. I wasn’t sure if she heard me. Exhaling long and deep, I tried to sit up but she planted a hand on my chest.
“No, don’t get up.”
That was good advice because the room was spinning. I flopped back down. “This isn’t how I hoped to start the season.” Talk about humiliating. April fussing over me was a plus, though. She placed her soft palm on my forehead and brushed away a lock of my hair, then she palmed my cheek, her eyes searching my face. “How do you feel? Does your head hurt?”
I shamelessly basked in her touch and her attention. “It hurts. Perhaps if I got to lay my head on your perfect bosom for a minute, I”d feel much better.” I rolled towards the mentioned perfect bosom and April socked me on the arm. “Ouch, woman, I’ve taken enough hits today.”
“Yet, your concern is to get near my bosom. You’re such a...guy.”
My lips twisted into a sheepish smile. “How about a kiss then?”
“Julian.”
Sighing, I abandoned my efforts...for the time being.
“Your mother and Andy are watching the game. She called, worried about you. I guess I can tell them that you”re just fine since you’re back to flirting and trying to cop a feel of my tits,” she said with disgust as she tapped out something on her phone.
My sniggering stopped when laughter boomed behind us. I turned to see one of my teammates, Jake, sitting up in the next bed. He held a bloody cloth to his mouth. “I say you let him cop as many feels of your tits as he wants, ma’am. Maybe that’ll help him get his shit together so he can play like he knows what he’s doing out there.” His words were muffled and I detected a lisp that he didn’t have before.
“Shut up, Jake,” I growled but eyed him with concern. He’d only been on the team for two years and had racked up a long list of injuries. The kid was accident-prone or something. “What the hell happened to you this time?”
He tossed his shaggy dirty blonde hair from his eyes, lowered the blood-soaked cloth, and grinned, showing the space where his two upper front teeth had been. I lifted a brow at the familiar sight but April gasped. “My God, Julian, couldn’t you have chosen another, safer sport? Like golf?”
I snorted and sat up. The room had stopped spinning so I was good to go. “Golf? I’m a man, Flower Child. I play manly sports.”
She rolled her eyes dramatically and Jake chuckled. Just then Sophie stuck her head inside the room. “April, is he alright?”
“He’s fine. He’s a man.” The sheer disgust in her tone made me grin.
Sophie gave us both perplexed glances. “Uh...okay. That’s good, I guess. I’ll let Jeff know you’re fine, Julian.”
When Sophie disappeared, April glanced over her shoulder at Jake and lowered her voice. “Where’s your head, Julian? I don’t know much about what goes on in the rink. All I see are a bunch of men treating each other like savages.”
I laughed. “It’s a contact sport, sweetheart. Things tend to get nasty.”
She rolled her eyes again. “But I know you’re not on your A game. I can tell all the way from the stands that you”re distracted. What’s going on?”
I glanced over my shoulder at Jake. If he knew I was fucking up because I was hung up on a woman, I’d never hear the end of it. “You, April,” I whispered. “You’re what’s going on.”
“Me?”
“I saw you flirting with some guy in the stands so I didn’t see that Goliath coming my way.” I’d been eyeing April chatting and laughing with a man wearing our team jersey. They looked pretty cozy because the guy was standing close to her. Too close for my comfort. The next thing I knew a huge motherfucker from the opposing team sent me crashing into the board. I woke up here. I wasn’t sure how long I was out.
April”s mouth hung open for a moment. “You have got to be kidding me,” she hissed, low enough so only I could hear. “I was not flirting. The man was nice enough to explain the rules of the game, that’s all.”
“Yeah, I bet he was aiming to do much more than that.”
She huffed. “You’ve been acting so strange since Sophie’s and Jeff’s party—asking weird questions, watching me like a hawk, and now you’re behaving like a jealous idiot.”
Rubbing the back of my neck, I averted my gaze. I’d been trying to gauge how she felt about me without actually asking outright. So, yes, I might have freaked her out a bit with my strange questions and behavior. I was startled when April whacked me in the chest with her hand and growled, “Get your head in the game, Grayson. You have people counting on you.”
Amusement coursed through me. I let out a laugh. Catching her hand to stop her battery, I told her, “Jesus, you’re worse than my coach.”
“I like her,” came Jake’s amused voice.
“Don’t like her too much,” I seethed, returning my attention to April. “We’ll talk later.”
“Fine, but you better focus when you get back out there. I expect you to win.”
I gawked at her. “I’m not sure why this is turning me on.” When her cheeks turned a pretty pink color, I smiled. “You”re not supposed to blush when you”re playing hardball, Flower Child.”
“I can”t help it,” she said with a shrug. “I’m not good at playing hardball. I’m just trying to motivate you to do well out there. This environment is just so hostile. I’m trying to sound like you guys. I’m sorry if I sounded too harsh.” The pink in her cheeks brightened.
Laughter rumbled in my chest. She was so goddamn adorable. “This is the kind of motivation I need from you, sweetness.” I leaned in to capture her mouth before she could say anything. To my satisfaction, she melted into me with a soft sigh, then her hand came up to cup my cheek. I drank her in voraciously, wanting to devour her, and she matched my enthusiasm, moaning softly. I was so caught up in her, I forgot that we weren’t alone in the room.
“Ehem. Still here,” Jake muttered.
April pulled away with a soft gasp as if she’d forgotten we had company too. Face red, she touched her lips with two fingers. “Are you sure you’re okay to go back out there? Maybe you should wait until the doctor―”
“I’m going back out there,” I said. “And when we win,” my voice dropped to a suggestive purr, “I expect to be properly rewarded.”
Her eyes darkened with excitement, and her lips parted. I could see the agreement on her face, in her little smirk. My kind of woman.
“I’d like to be rewarded too, ma’am,” Jake teased.
“I will gut you like a fish, Jake,” I growled over my shoulder.
April gasped. I suppose I proved her point about this being a “hostile environment.” That was just how guys communicated. I shrugged. I didn’t care if she thought I was acting like a “jealous idiot.” She was mine whether she acknowledged it or not.