Sierra
Chapter four
If I didn’t have to go to my own personal hell called high school today, I’d be in my own personal heaven.
Rico let me leave an hour before my shift was over last night.
I didn’t have to pick up Sam thanks to Mrs. Butler, and I was able to fall right in bed when I crawled into the apartment around two am.
I’ve been debating all morning if I should just drop out and get my GED. But there’d be questions, ones I didn’t want to answer, so school it was. How fun! Not…
I can do this. One hundred and eighty days of hell, and then I will never have to deal with any of them again.
They’ll be off to college, and I’ll be here taking care of Sam.
I always had dreams of going off to college.
Wes and I had planned to go together, being roommates somehow.
That was until everything changed. I don’t regret taking care of Sam.
I’m just missing out on one more thing I wanted in life.
Something else of value ripped away from me.
I throw the blankets off and jump out of bed, headed straight for the bathroom.
It’s six am so I still have time to quickly shower, dress and eat before heading upstairs to Mrs. Butler to help her wake up Sam and get her dressed.
We need to be out on the road by seven fifteen for her to catch her bus.
If it’s on time, then I can make the twelve block walk to the school and save the bus fare for another day.
Knowing I don’t need to save hot water for Sam, I turn it on full blast, allowing it time to heat up before stepping into the shower.
The pounding of the water as it hits the aching muscles in my back and shoulders is the poor girl's equivalent of a magnificent massage. One day I’m going to splurge and get one.
One day we won't live in this dump, and I’ll be able to afford everything for Sam and we'll be able to move away from this godforsaken town.
Maybe we can convince Mrs. Butler to move with us.
It feels like I’ve only been in a few minutes before the hot water turns cold, not even lukewarm, to prepare you for the change.
My mind was lost in thought, dreaming of a better place.
I reach out, take the towel from the rack and dry off before hanging it back up.
With no one being home but me, I trek naked down the short hallway to my room and head straight for my dresser, pulling out some underwear and a bra before putting them on.
Today is going to be a scorcher, so I opt to wear some shorts and a t-shirt with some flip-flops.
My shorts just barely meet the school's required length, but honestly, none of the girls come close to meeting the dress code requirements. The shirt is one of my favorites, which anyone could probably guess by how faded it is. It’s form-fitting and comes down into a V-neck in the front.
It’s an old band tee I found at the Goodwill with one of my mother’s favorite eighties bands on it, Aerosmith.
I’ve listened to their music a few times, it’s not bad.
I don’t even bother with my hair, just brushing it and pulling it up into a high ponytail.
Satisfied with the way I look and not even wanting to wear makeup since I have to cake on so much at work, I head to the kitchen to pour a bowl of cereal.
I eat so fast, I barely taste it before hurrying to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
Once I’m all set, I grab my wallet and slip it into my backpack, snatch my keys off the kitchen table, and head out the door.
I sprint up the steps in record time and knock loudly on Mrs. Butler's door. I hear the slapping of feet on the floor, and I’m already thanking God that we live below her because otherwise, the tenants would complain about the noise.
“It’s the first day of school!” she hollers, flinging the door open, still in her pajamas. Her hair looks like a crazed maniac, and she has the cheesiest grin plastered on her face.
“Yes it is, but you’re still not dressed and it’s close to time to go to the bus stop,” I remind her. At least someone is excited about today.
“Oh crap! Gotta go.” She takes off down the hallway like a wild banshee, straight to the spare bedroom where she slept last night.
“Want some coffee?” Mrs. Butler calls out from the kitchen before she’s hit with a coughing spell.
“Please. I have a feeling I’m going to need it today,” I reply as I step into the apartment and close the door behind me.
The coolness of her apartment fills me with jealousy.
Heading to the kitchen, I see her standing at the counter, her back to me.
She must sense when I walk into the room because she starts talking.
“I wish I had a fraction of that girl’s energy. She’s been up for an hour, bouncing off the walls. I’m surprised you didn’t hear her down in your apartment. Now, want to tell me why there’s a frown on your face?” She turns to face me with a stern look on her face holding a coffee mug in her hand.
She knows I dread school. I just haven’t told her how bad it really is. I know if I did, she would want to march down to the school and rip them all a new asshole like the grandma bear she is.
“Just tired,” I manage to get out, knowing she’ll accept the answer as the truth. Little white lies never hurt anyone.
“Told you that you didn’t need to work last night. You can leave her here after school today and get yourself a nap if you want.” God, I love this woman.
“I’ll think about it.” I reach out and take the steaming cup of coffee from her, allowing the heat to seep into my hands as I inhale the delectable aroma.
Sam bounds back into the living room, dressed in her denim skirt and pink t-shirt.
She’s wearing the rainbow-colored Vans that she begged to have, with some white bootie socks.
Her hair is brushed now and pulled back into a high ponytail with a huge bow in it.
Could she look any more freaking adorable?
“Ci Ci, can I wear some lip gloss?” She stares at me and I give her the ‘you got to be kidding me’ look. “It was worth a try.” She shrugs, finally giving up, knowing it wasn’t going to fly.
I try to guzzle my coffee, but just end up burning my tongue and throat in the process.
Mrs. Butler turns back toward the counter, reaches up, opens the cabinet and pulls a travel mug out of it, and pours coffee into it before handing it to me.
“You don’t need to burn your tongue. Just take it with you. ”
“Thank you. Ready to go, Sam?” I exchange the cup for the mug, giving her a grateful smile as I turn and head toward the front door. Sam has already beat me there and opens it as I step up beside her. “Goodbye, Mrs. Butler. See you this afternoon,” she shouts before running out and down the stairs.
“Bye, sweetie,” she calls back to her, but Sam is already gone. “Sierra, have a good day, and please think about just leaving her with me for a little while, so you can take a nap after school.”
“I will.” Smiling, I close the door behind me. When I can’t see Sam, I take off, increasing my pace until I catch up with her just as she’s stepping onto the landing for the first floor.
Choosing to walk to school was more for a selfish reason than merely saving the small amount of money it cost to ride the city bus.
I wanted to prolong the time before I had to step on school grounds.
My stomach literally rumbles the closer I get, and I anxiously clench and unclench my hands.
The closer I get, the larger the three story brick building of dream crushing gets.
There are clusters of kids all over the school grounds.
Some are gathered under a tree, others sitting on the lush grass while the popular kids hold their spot of superiority on the top of the staircase leading into the main building.
They’re split up into their clique groups.
Jocks, cheerleaders, band geeks, stoners, and so on.
Not one of those groups included me. Nope, I’m my own little group, party of one.
It’s okay, I learned that a while back, friends never last.
The sun is shining high overhead as I catch the whiff of marijuana as I pass the stoners who converge right off school grounds where they can’t be reprimanded.
The jocks are shouting at each other as they toss the football back and forth on the open grassy lawn in front of the school, as the cheerleaders fawn over them.
Lifting my head high, refusing to let these dicks make me cower, I march up to the school. Climbing the staircase, not to heaven, but hell. The catcalls and insults follow me the entire time, but I block them out. I will not cry in front of them.
A sudden impact to the back of my head sends me stumbling down onto the concrete steps, skinning my knees, and causing blood to seep from the abrasions. “Watch out, loser!!” an unknown voice screams, and a chorus of laughter follows.
“Fucking slut deserves it. Heard she does her best work on her knees, anyway,” Savannah slurs loudly, feigning trying to hide it under her breath, as she lords over her faithful followers.
I pick up my notebooks that are scattered and slowly rise, standing tall, not letting these people know how they affect me, and make my way toward the door.
Struggling to keep my movement fluid so I don’t limp.
Opening the heavy door, I step inside the cool building and head toward the office.
Students lump together in groups along the hallway, and I hear their whispers as I pass by.
As I reach the glass door of the office, I see Mrs. Bullock seated behind the desk, and I sigh a breath of relief. She’s always been kind to me, often letting me sit in the office during lunch, giving me the break I need from the abuse to calm down and prepare to fight the rest of the day.
“Welcome back, Sierra. What can I do for you today?” She stands from her chair, making her way around the desk, her arms open wide as she draws me into her, embracing me tightly.