Sierra
Chapter thirty-eight
“Can we talk in private?” Colton runs his hand through his hair nervously.
“Yeah. Umm, I guess we can go to my room?”
His firm body presses against mine and I melt into him, opening my lips so he can take our kiss deeper. He groans into my mouth and I swallow it, yearning for more. I need this amazing man buried deep inside of me.
“Umm, I hate to break this up. But yeah, we need food and this is turning me on. I don’t see having a problem sharing our girl at all.”
Cyrus and I break apart, both of us grinning at Zander’s bold words.
“Yeah, I feel the same way, brother. I’m just jealous he’s kissing her and I’m not,” Braxton adds in, scratching the back of his head, his eyes heated as he stares at me.
“We’ll be back,” Cyrus whispers. “If you need me, just text and I’ll come right back.”
“Thank you,” I mouth.
He heads toward the front door, where Braxton and Zander are already waiting. They all smile before opening the door and exiting, leaving me alone with Colton.
My stomach twists in knots, nervous about what’s going to happen. But mostly for being alone with him. We didn’t have the best start and I’m still a little skeptical of his intentions, even though he seems to be sincere.
“Guess we should sit down.” My words come out sounding unsure.
“Yeah,” he answers.
We both step toward the couch, nearly bumping into each other. It seems we’re both unsure. He gestures for me to go ahead of him and I make my way to the couch, sitting down at the end and turning my body toward him. Colton sits down on the other end, mimicking me.
“I’ve had this conversation so many times in my head. Even had different versions of how I’d start it, but now I’m nervous as hell. I fucked up everything with you all because I wanted to fit in.”
I want to say something, but I don’t. He could have chosen to be himself instead of blindly following everyone. But he didn’t.
“When we came here, I gave up so much and I was still mad about it. I know my dad and John love each other and they spent so much time apart that they deserved to be together. I was happy they were finally going to be, but there was still a small piece of me that didn’t want to give up what I had.
Fitting in was all I wanted when we got here.
Friends, fun, and girls. Wes made that happen, but in the process, it became obvious that bullying you was a part of it. ”
He picks at the frays in his ripped jeans, then draws little circles on the denim fabric.
“I knew it was wrong, Sierra. Then when I started to question Wes, he told me about how you betrayed him, never any specifics, but just that I should be glad my dad was gay if you were going to be around him. That day when you and Sam were at the house, I let his words get to me and made up in my head that you were flirting with him. I was such a fucking idiot. There are no words I can say to make up for all I did to you. But I want to try my damndest.”
He sits there quietly, waiting for me to speak.
I open my mouth a few times, but I’m unable to form the words that are vividly dancing in my mind.
He’s pouring his heart out to me, asking for forgiveness, but not pressuring me to give it. Maybe there’s some truth in what he’s saying.
“Colton, thank you. I know it’s hard for you to say this and I appreciate it.
When I first saw you, after I realized you weren’t your brother,”—we both chuckle—“I was attracted to you. But then you became just like everyone else. Having people bully you, and not knowing why, is hard as hell. Then when someone arrives at school who should accept you without prejudice and they don’t, sucks.
I can’t forget what’s happened between us, but I can give you a chance to show me who you are and then we can see where it goes. ”
“I can live with that.” The corners of his mouth curl up and his face brightens as if a heavy load has been lifted.
“Let’s start over. Hi, I’m Sierra.” I stick out my hand, waiting for him to shake it.
“Colton, the new guy at school. You may have seen an identical version of me running around here. Just so you know, I’m the more handsome, athletic one. Also, I’m the one most likely to stick my foot in my mouth and act like an idiot.” He takes my hand in his, gripping it gently.
“Come to think of it, I have seen someone who looks like you running around here. I even met him before school started and thought you were him ignoring me in class.” I laugh, placing my hand over my heart in mock shock.
“Don’t worry, I’m the better model.” Colton winks, and my stomach flutters. But I won’t let him in that easily. He still needs to work for it. He has to prove to me he’s here for me and fuck what everyone else thinks.
“Tell me about yourself, Colton.”
“Well, I love that you use my full name. I like the way it sounds coming out of your mouth. I’m scared of clowns, especially that creepy one from the book they turned into a movie, but I’ll never admit it to anyone.
I cry every time I watch A Walk to Remember.
I’ll deny it if you tell anyone. Green is my favorite color and I love pasta.
One day I want to play professional football and run a camp for foster children. ”
“That’s so sweet. I love that you want to give back to children who were in the same situation as you. And well, I’ll try not to spill the beans on you being a crybaby.”
We sit and laugh as he tells me more about himself and how Sam is doing. He fills me in on all the things they’ve been doing, from the water gun fights to him letting her paint his toenails. He even showed me the bright pink color she painted on them last night.
Before we know it, the guys are walking back in the door with a pizza in hand. I glance over at the clock and see it’s been an hour and a half since they left. It was nice getting to know the real Colton. I just hope he doesn’t disappear when he’s back around everyone at school.
“Who’s hungry?” Cyrus calls out as he heads into the kitchen.
“Me!” I shout. “Two slices please, and a Pepsi.”
“I got you, baby,” Cyrus hollers from the kitchen right before he steps out with two plates in his hands. Braxton follows close behind with four drinks carefully held in his hands and Zander carrying three plates of pizza with the skill of a veteran waitress.
We all sit around the coffee table and begin eating. It’s oddly nice—comforting. But something’s missing or rather someone; Sam.
“Sierra, I can get your school work tomorrow and bring it to you,” Zander tells me around a mouthful of food.
I set my slice of pizza down and stare at him in confusion. “Why would you need to do that? I’m going to school tomorrow.”
“Sierra,” Cyrus says my name so strongly that my gaze shoots to him.
“What?” I ask.
“Please don’t tell me you're going there. Not after what happened today. It’s the last place you need to be.” I love how Cyrus cares about me and my mental health. It’s going to be hard to walk in there and show my face, but I have to.
“I’m going. If I don’t, I won’t ever go back.
They’re not going to break me. I’m going to march in there with my head held high.
What they saw on the video was someone violating me and if they use it to harass and degrade me, then they’re lower than pond scum and deserve every bad thing that happens to them in life. ”
“Then if you’re going back, we’ll be right by your side. Let someone open their mouth and say anything. I’ll fucking end them,” Colton says through clenched teeth.
“So will we,” Braxton adds and Zander nods in agreement.
I pick up my slice and take another bite, a string of cheese trailing down my chin as I pull it away.
“Since we have that settled and I know these knuckleheads have my number on speed dial if something happens, let’s plan our dating schedule.
We need our individual ones and some as a group,” Cyrus says.
I know once the guys leave, he’s going to try to talk me out of school tomorrow. It won’t work, though.
“Well, I still think I should go first. I met her first, therefore I get to go first. Tomorrow works for me, providing Dad doesn’t ground us for skipping school today.” Braxton stands, presenting his case.
“Wait, what are you going to tell your dad?”
“Don’t know. I mean, we can tell him a video was sent out about you, but then we have to explain about the rape.” He sits back down and takes a bite of his food.
“Why don’t we just say she was being bullied and we left with her so she wouldn’t be subjected to it?” Zander proposes.
“I don’t know if he’s going to believe that.
Especially since she’s been coming to school, and that’s been going on,” Colton answers.
“Why not just say some of the shithead kids were bullying her when they caught sight of her bruises and wouldn’t stop?
She got upset and was going to walk home and we didn’t want any part of it.
We can add in that we were so upset and felt the best thing for us to do was leave so we didn’t end up in a physical altercation that would get us expelled from school. ”
“That might work. Now, back to what I was saying. My date should be first. What do you want to do, Sierra?” Braxton jumps right back in, adamant about his position.
Fuck, these guys are going to break down all the walls I’ve been building around my heart. They already are.