Sierra
Chapter thirty-seven
“Soo…” I rock back and forth on my feet. “Shouldn’t you guys go to school? I’m sure your dad has found out you’re not there.”
“He’s already messaged us. I vaguely told him that something happened and we’re with you. He said it was okay, but we’d have a conversation tonight.” Zander smiles.
Fuck, that means he has to tell his dad about the video. My stomach churns, knowing yet another person will know about it.
“Can we talk?” Colton asks. “Privately?”
I knew it was coming. Especially after what Cyrus told me.
“Before you do that, can we talk about this Lilac thing?” Braxton raises his hand like he’s in school, asking for permission.
“Sierra, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. It can wait until another day.” Cyrus’s comforting arms wrap around me, pulling me tight into his arms.
I love how he wants to protect me, but it’s time. Wesley knows my secret; it won’t be long before others do as well. Besides, if they want to be with me, they will either accept what I do to survive or run.
Might as well find out now.
“No, I need to tell them. Especially if they mean what they say. Better to get all the secrets out now. Can we sit down, though? Maybe have something to drink?”
Cyrus guides me over to the couch, lowering me onto the cushion before rushing off to the kitchen. The guys take seats around me, not saying a word.
How the fuck do I say? Oh, guess what, I’m a stripper?
“Here you go.” Looking up, Cyrus hands a glass of water to me.
“Thank you.” I wrap my hands around it and take a sip.
I hate sharing my life with people. I’ve worked hard to keep everything Sam and I’ve been through a secret and all of it’s coming crashing down around me.
The video is public. Wesley knows I’m Lilac. The guys now know my aunt’s boyfriend, or boy toy, to be more exact, beat me. And now I have to tell them I’m a stripper.
This sucks. At least when they run, I’ll still have Cyrus. He accepted me for who I was before ever knowing all my truths.
I breathe, taking my time as my eyes drift to theirs.
I linger a little longer on Colton’s as I try to gauge his authenticity.
Does he really like me? Want to pursue a relationship?
Or is it just another prank, led by Wes and his followers?
I know Wes confessed his remorse for what he did to me, but as I’ve seen before, he’s an amazing actor.
I’ve seen how he has the teachers at school eating out of his hand, believing every single lie that he spews.
“Okay, let me start off by saying this isn’t easy for me. This is going to be hard. I just request if you have any questions, wait until I’m done.”
“We can do that, Sierra. Just take your time. We’re here for you.” Zander reaches out and places his hand on my knee, squeezing gently.
I hope he means it.
“You know my mom died.” They nod; it’s not news. I’ve already told them. I just want to make sure they’re aware that one event is what set everything else into play.
“My aunt became my guardian. At the time, I didn’t know about Rico. Sarah and my mother hadn’t spoken in years. I’m not sure what happened between them, but she wasn’t a major part of our lives. At first it was okay. I thought, anyway.”
I lift the glass to my lips and take another sip. God, how I hate doing this.
“She went through my mother’s life insurance, what little there was, then she ditched Sam and I.
The lights were on the verge of being turned off, rent was due, and the cabinets were bare.
All Sarah cared about were the checks from the state.
She would disappear for days on end. Sam needed to eat, so I set out to find a job.
But nothing was enough to pay the bills that were piling up. ”
Cyrus places his hands on my shoulder, giving me warmth and an encouraging squeeze. He leans down, his heady cinnamon cologne surrounding me.
“You’re doing great.” His lips graze along the rim of my ear, sending a shiver through my body. How I wish we were alone.
A throat clears from somewhere in the room and I quickly compose myself. I almost let hormones take over with the three of them sitting here.
“Sorry. Mrs. Butler, our neighbor upstairs, became a godsend. She often fed us, watched Sam when I worked, and even handled the landlord when he asked about my aunt. All this to keep anyone from finding out she wasn’t here.
But the harder I worked, the less money I had.
My aunt took most of it from me when she found out I was working. When I didn’t have enough, she hit me.”
I can hear their outraged groans at my story, but I can’t look them in the eyes. I keep mine firmly posted on the floor. I’m afraid of what I’ll see if I look at them.
“I lucked out on the job at Tiger Tails and Rico hired me instantly, even pays me under the table. He knew my age, I was upfront about it. His only conditions were I didn’t sell alcohol, and no one else knows the truth about my age.
He even worked with my hours. At first I thought it was weird, but I didn’t question it.
” I take a moment to glance up quickly, only to see their eyes locked on me, listening to every word.
It’s getting harder. Now I have to tell them how I got beat up. There’s no expression on their face so I’m not sure how they’re handling me being a stripper.
“My aunt would bring home men with her when she would visit. I worked hard to keep Sam away from her poison. But it left me to bear the brunt of it. She knew I was dancing and wanted more and more money. I hid some away, lying to her about how much I make, but she eventually caught on. The way you saw me that day when you came over, when Sam and I were split up? It was the aftermath of one of her men beating me. So now you know everything. My aunt abandoned us. I was raising my sister by being a stripper and now it seems it was Wesley’s father who raped me.
And his misinterpretation of the situation led to my bullying at school.
And everything I’ve told you, I need you to never tell another soul. ”
I gesture toward the door with my head. “You can run now if you want.”
Colton blows out a breath, rubbing his hands on his legs. Braxton steeples his fingers, resting his chin on them with his elbows on his legs, and Zander looks at me with tear-filled eyes.
This is it. They’re about to run. It’s too much for them and I understand. I don’t blame them for not wanting to be part of my train wreck of a life.
“Are you still dancing?” Zander asks.
“Stripping? Yes, I am. Rico wants me to stop, but I need to be able to show I can take care of Sam when I turn eighteen. I want her back with me and I make good money doing it. So, if you’re asking if I’m stopping, the answer is no. Not yet anyway. I’m not ashamed of it either.”
“Shit, no, I didn’t mean it like that. I just didn’t know,” he quickly replies.
“Did any of your aunt’s men she brought here rape you?” Colton’s voice is low and shaky.
“No.”
They all blow out a breath with a mixture of some form of ‘thank god’.
“Are you okay after learning what you did today?” Braxton asks next.
“I don’t know. It’s weird. For so long, I wondered about what happened that night. Why I always felt uncomfortable around his dad after that. And I know he comes to the club, but I’m not sure if he recognizes me or not.”
“Why wouldn’t he?” Colton asks.
“I wear a mask. I’ve never removed it while I’m in the club.
I dance in it, walk around in it. Even for my private dances, I wear one.
Wesley came to the club, booked a private dance, and I guess I was close enough that he realized who I was.
I’m not sure. I guess he wore a mask, so I wouldn’t know who he was either.
I’m not sure why. It only makes sense if he knew who I was before he scheduled the dance.
More questions for him, and that’s if I even want to know the answers. ”
“Are you safe when you’re dancing?” Colton speaks up again. “There’s not men grabbing at you, are there?”
“She’s perfectly safe. I make sure of that,” Cyrus announces proudly, kissing the top of my head.
“Oh, you work there?” one of them asks.
“I do, still do. It’s where I met and fell in love with Lilac, then I got to know her as Sierra. And let me tell you, Sierra is so much better.”
“You sweet talker.” I lean into his body more, where he sits on the arm of the couch.
There’s not a word spoken. We sit in silence. Cyrus squeezes my shoulder, comforting me in ways he doesn’t even know. I have him in my corner and that’s what's important.
Finally, I can’t take it anymore. There’s no need for them to stay if they can’t accept me. Who I am. What I do. What happened to me.
I’ve had enough of the quiet and I refuse to sit and be judged in my own home. Standing from the couch, Cyrus’ hands fall from my shoulder.
“You can go now. I have no hard feelings toward you. Please, just don’t repeat anything I’ve told you. I’m trusting you to keep those secrets.” I turn, kiss Cyrus and head toward the hallway. I just want to lie down and sleep. To forget everything that’s happened today.
“I don’t want to leave. Thank you for sharing everything you’ve been through with us.
You are by far the strongest person I’ve ever met in my life.
And if you’ll let me, I'll show you how much I want to be with you. I know I have to earn your trust after everything. But I’m ready to do it,” Colton, of all people, says, stopping me in my tracks. I turn and look at him in disbelief.
“I feel the same way. You are it for me, Sierra. I want nothing more than to be your boyfriend if you’ll have me.” Braxton stands next.
“The same for me. I want to reserve my spot in your harem. It’s just like the books we’re reading for our project. I feel like we have a heads up on how to make it work. That’s if you still want me,” Zander adds in.
“You still want to pursue something with me after all I’ve told you?”
“Why wouldn’t we?” Zander asks. “We definitely need to sit down and discuss how we want this to work. Make date nights. Talk about how we want to handle it in public, just like Cyrus said. Plus, we got our books as a reference,” he jokes, causing us all to laugh.
I guess he’s right. It looks like I’m getting my very own romance book.