Chapter 25 #2
Maybe…it wasn’t you who made a mess, maybe…life just turned out this way because Chris wasn’t right for you.”
She lowered her eyes to their intertwined hands, her eyebrows pinching. “That may have worked in my twenties, but now…I’m not so sure it does.”
“Why?” he asked, unable to piece together what age had to do with anything. “How does dating the wrong guy in your twenties differ from the wrong guy now? Ava, he wasn’t right for you.”
She pulled her hands away from his, wiping at her cheeks. “Wasn’t he? Because I was ready to marry him, and then everything just fell apart.”
Her voice broke as fresh tears fell, and she slapped a palm against her forehead.
He offered her a consoling smile as he leaned closer, grabbing her hand again. He didn’t want to push too far, but he didn’t want her this upset over a man who he thought was completely inappropriate.
She sniffled again, puffing out a long breath with a groan. “I’m going to go upstairs and–”
“No,” he said with a shake of his head.
“Alex,” she whined, “don’t argue with me. I just spent my afternoon arguing with Chris, and I can’t take anymore.”
“I don’t want to argue, either, Avs, but I’m not going to leave you alone right now. You’re upset and you’re blaming yourself for stuff that isn’t your fault.”
She chewed her lower lip. “It is my fault.”
“It’s not,” he answered, his voice finding some strength. “Ava, it’s not. Chris was…temperamental to begin with. He was always on edge–”
“My fault,” she answered.
“Okay, fine, he was always judgmental. Was that your fault?”
Her eyebrows knitted. “He wasn’t…”
“He was,” Alex insisted as her voice trailed off. “Ava, within five minutes of walking into this house, he was commenting on your choice of sleepwear. And then he made the comment about hating your hair up. And then he complained about your choice of recreational activities.”
“I just…I don’t do those things at home, so he wasn’t used to it.”
“Stop defending him,” Alex said as he leapt to his feet, running his hand through his hair as annoyance crept over him.
“I’m sorry, I just…Alex, you didn’t know him. Like you two met at the worst time, and you didn’t get along….”
“No, I didn’t get along with him, Ava. Not at all. And it had nothing to do with when we met.” His voice became more heated than he had intended as he fought through his emotions.
He desperately wanted her to know how much she meant to him, how right they were together, and in order to do that, he needed her to understand that Chris Maxwell was not the man for her.
She rose from her seat and took a few steps toward the foyer. “And this is why it’s best if I go upstairs. I can’t do this with you right now. I can’t–”
“Ava, please don’t go,” Alex said, his voice turning pleading.
“Alex, I’m sorry,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper, “but I just…I can’t talk about this right now. Not with you.”
“We used to talk about everything. This isn’t the first break-up we’ve been through together. I just…when did I stop being the first person you came to?”
Her features pinched again. “I can’t keep relying on you, Alex. I can’t keep asking you to be here for me because there’s going to come a time when your first priority is not going to be me.”
He shook his head, the idea incredulous to him. “That’s not true.”
“Alex,” she said with a shake of her head, “you don’t know that.”
“I do, I–”
“You don’t,” she insisted. “I know you think you’ll never find anyone, but even if you don’t marry someone else…Alex, I can’t keep asking to be your first priority in life.”
He grabbed her hand, his thumb rubbing her soft skin, his voice softening. “Yes, you can.”
She heaved a sigh, raising her gaze to him. “Oh, Alex, I…I know you’re just trying to be supportive, but–”
“No, that’s not it,” he said, his breath catching in his throat as the truth threatened to come spilling out of his mouth.
“You’re not just trying to be supportive?”
“I’m…yes, I am, but not for the reason you think.” His struggled to keep his voice steady, but a quiver crept in as his raw emotions spilled over.
His features turned pleading as he tightened his grip on her hand, his other one trembling. “Ava, I…you will always be my first priority because I…” His heart hammered against his ribs in a frenetic beat as blood rushed through his ears. “I…”
Her features turned questioning as she leaned a little closer, waiting for him to finish his statement.
“I love you, Ava.”
A slight smile broke up the sadness on her face, and she squeezed his hand. “I love you, too, Ace, but–”
“No,” he said with a shake of his head, his chest tightening. “No, Ava. I don’t mean…this isn’t a friendly I love you. I’m in love with you.”
His voice caught as he recalled the moment he’d realized his love for her. The memory made his confession heavier, loaded with the weight of everything unsaid over the years and everything that might never be.
Realizing he’d just said the words he’d been so eager and so terrified to say, his stomach tightened with fear. But now they were said, and there was no taking them back.
The statement hung in the air, a fragile confession that could shatter everything.
Ava stood still, her expression unreadable in the dimming light. He held his breath, the seconds stretching into eternity as he waited for her to speak or react in any way, to reject or embrace his admission.
But she remained silent, her eyes a mirror of the turmoil he felt, leaving him to wonder if he’d just crossed a line that could never be redrawn.