Chapter 26
AVA
Ava’s breath hitched, her heart stuttering as Alex’s words sank in–a confession of love, unexpected yet profound. Her knees weakened, a mix of shock and a fluttering of hope taking hold as she processed the weight of his revelation.
Turmoil twisted her insides into a knot. Her mind, already whirling from the confrontations with Chris, failed to process this new plot twist to her life.
“W-what?” Escaped her lips, her voice a fragile breath, as a tumult of emotions churned within her, each heartbeat loud in the echoing silence that followed his confession.
He shoved his hands into his pockets, his features pinched with terror and raw emotion. He licked his lips, his face falling. “I’m in love with you, Ava,” he confessed, his voice trembling with the weight of the admission.
She tried to process the words again, but it was like living in a dream. When had this happened? Had he fallen for her since she returned to the Hamptons?
Maybe it had been Chris’s presence that drove him to the conclusion. Was this a reaction to her recent engagement?
Ava’s features pinched, her thoughts racing as fast as her heartbeat. Each breath she took seemed to echo in the silent stillness stretching between them. “How long?” she asked, her voice a quiet whisper.
Her question hung between them, a soft plea of understanding amidst the whirlwind of emotions. The simple query was laden with the weight of all their years of friendship coupled with their recent turmoil. Had it been the problems with The Board that made him think he’d fallen for her?
He swallowed hard, his gaze flicking to the rocky sea outside. “Since junior year of college.”
Tears stung her eyes as her jaw fell open. “What? Alex…”
He pressed his lips together as the words sank in. Decades of his feelings hidden from her…their entire marriage he’d said nothing. He hadn’t even told her after she’d asked for a divorce, yet his actions fell into place in a sudden moment of clarity.
The request to come to the Hamptons, the repeated attempts at nostalgia, the rings, the posted pictures, the jealousy at the tech conference, the suggestion of the date to Paris, the conclusion that Chris was wrong for her, all those moments that had been interrupted when he’d insisted he wanted to tell her something.
It had all been leading to this moment, to this confession.
She stared at his hazy form through the tears welling in her eyes. Their kisses floated through her mind. The genuine warmth she’d detected…it had all been because he harbored real feelings for her.
Everything he’d said to Miranda had all been so easy for him to say because it was all true.
How had she never known?
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I didn’t want to…I didn’t want to mess things up between us.”
Her eyebrows pinched at the words. “Mess things up? Alex…how could you not tell me? How could you wait this long?”
She smacked a palm against her forehead as fresh tears fell.
“Avs, I…” He reached for her, sliding his arms around her waist as she remained sideways, her eyes focused on the cold hearth in front of her. “I just…I thought things would work out, you know?”
“We got married.” She twisted to face him. “We literally said vows to each other, and you told me that was fake. Why would you say that?”
“I didn’t…you said that and I just…didn’t correct you.”
She slid her eyes closed at the admission, frustration building.
“Ava, I’m sorry. I…I didn’t want to mess things up between us. And I just…thought eventually things would work out. I thought after we got married that we’d just…”
“What?” she prompted when his voice trailed off. “That I’d magically realize you had feelings for me?”
“That we’d just…stay together, and eventually it would…come out.” His features tightened again, a pained expression painting a picture of his upset. “And then you were engaged, and suddenly…my entire future just disappeared. I’ve been trying to tell you since you came out here.”
“This is why you hated Chris,” she surmised, crossing her arms as she sorted through all the nuances of his admission.
“No,” he answered with a shake of his head. “No, I didn’t like Chris because he wasn’t nice to you. He just…he treated you like a doll that was his to order around. Wear your hair this way, wear these clothes, don’t do this, don’t do that.”
She creased her forehead at the negative representation of a man she’d managed to think she was in love with.
“Ava, he wasn’t right for you. And I…yes, I was jealous…and angry about the way he treated you. I mean, no matter what clothes you wear, what your hair looks like, what time you sleep until, you’ll always be perfect to me.”
She swallowed hard at the words, still trying to understand how she hadn’t known in decades of friendship. How had she been this blind?
Suddenly, his defensiveness about dating Miranda made sense. He’d been desperately trying to tell her he didn’t have feelings for any other women.
She bit the inside of her cheek. Had her reaction to the woman’s interest in him been borne of something more than friendship, too?
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” he murmured. “I was trying to but–”
“We kept getting interrupted,” she answered, her forehead pinching as she searched her mind for an answer to her own question about her feelings.
She’d kissed him, an action she thought had been driven by confusion and the need for comfort, but had there been more?
“Yeah,” he whispered, sliding a lock of hair over her shoulder.
Ava wrapped her arms around herself, her body taut as a barrage of doubts and fears assaulted her. Each thought was a wave crashing against the fragile shore of her resolve, threatening to pull her under the tumultuous surf of uncertainty and past heartaches.
She studied Alex’s earnest features, the terror still floating in his eyes.
He waited to hear her reciprocate his feelings, or say something reassuring, but she couldn’t.
One fact reigned in her mind, twisting her stomach into a tight knot.
She paced a few steps away, her arms tightening around her as if she was holding together pieces of her fractured existence. “I can’t do this, Alex,” she said, her voice trembling.
She couldn’t look at him and witness the crushing despair likely etched into his face after he bared his soul to her.
“Okay,” he answered, his voice barely audible.
She spun to face him, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears.
She needed him to know it wasn’t the rejection he thought it was.
“Look at everything that’s happened. My relationship with Chris, the mess it became…
I thought I knew what I was doing, but everything fell apart.
Like it always does. And now, suddenly, there’s this between us?
I just…I can’t.” Her voice hiccupped as sobs broke through her words.
She was a wreck, and she couldn’t wreck things with Alex. He was all she had. She couldn’t bear to lose him.
His features pinched as he took a tentative step toward her, trying to bridge the gap physically and emotionally. “Ava, I know things with Chris are still raw, but–”
He reached her, sliding his arms around her. “What if…what if they ended because he’s not who you’re supposed to be with?”
“But what if that’s not it?” Her voice broke as more tears spilled to her cheeks. “Alex, what if it’s me? What if I’m the problem?”
“You’re not the problem, Ava. I have been in love with you for decades. You’re not the problem.”
“No,” she said with a shake of her head. “No, you’ve been in love with the idea of me.”
“That’s not true. Ava, I’ve seen you at your best, and at your worst, and everything in between. I love all of it. I love how you’re just as comfortable in that unicorn onesie as you are a designer evening gown. And I love that you are smart and savvy.”
She chewed her lower lip as she stared at his chest, avoiding his gaze as he continued.
“I love how you always have my back no matter what. And how you unapologetically admit you can’t cook. And the way you get this little crease right here when you concentrate.” He gently poked at a spot between her eyebrows.
“I love your love for orange soda. And how you cry at those stupid rom-coms. I love everything about you, Ava. I just…love you.”
“You can’t say that. We’ve never been romantically involved. Things are different.”
“They aren’t that different,” he countered. “We’ve had plenty of arguments, and we always come through them. I understand you, Ava.”
She sniffled, unable to deny that being in his arms made her feel safe and comforted. When she’d been upset, she’d always sought him, and he’d always taken care of her. Even now, when she fought with Chris, she’d sought refuge with him, crying on his shoulder.
But that was what made her so afraid. “What if it is different? What if I’m just a mess in relationships? Alex, I can’t lose you.”
He wiped a tear away with his thumb. “You’re never going to lose me, Ava. Never.”
Her features pinched at the reassuring words as she slid her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder. His hand slowly slid up and down her back, another sign of comfort and security.
Could she chance a relationship with the man who meant more to her than anyone else in the world? Her stomach fluttered with apprehension, worried that she’d make another mess of things with the only person who mattered to her.
“Ava,” he said, his voice soft as he leaned back, his arms still tight around her waist, a source of strength despite the turmoil between them, “please, just…stay. Stay with me. That’s all I’m asking.
We can take things as slow as you want. I just…
I want…I need the chance to show you every day how much I love you.
I will spend every day showing you that we’re going to be okay together. Just…please don’t leave.”
His words hung between them, a tender offer laden with hope and promises. Warmth spread through her, though it was tinged with doubt.
He’d seen her through everything in life, and now he wanted a chance to be her everything. Could she take the risk when failure would cost her so much?
She took a deep breath, swallowing the lump in her throat as her eyes locked onto his, filled with tentative resolve. “I’m not leaving you,” she whispered. “We’ll figure this out together.”
His eyes slid closed as a tear stained his cheek, his features breaking into a relieved but cautious smile.
He tightened his grip on her, a firm yet gentle embrace that promised not just comfort but a shared future.
“I promise you we will. I promise you, Ava, I will do whatever it takes to make this okay for you.”
His lips pressed against her forehead, and she allowed herself the moment of reassurance his closeness provided her, leaning into him as he settled his cheek against her head.
His hand wrapped around hers, and she snuggled closer, silently resolving to match his efforts.
As they settled into the silence and relief of each other’s embrace, savoring the new beginning fraught with uncertainty yet filled with possibilities, Ava’s phone buzzed abruptly on the coffee table, slicing through the moment.
She pulled back slightly with a sniffle, a frown forming as she stared at it.
Pulling away from Alex, she wiped at her cheeks as she crossed to it.
“Wow, I really hope that’s not Chris apologizing.”
She huffed out a weak laugh, shooting him a glance filled with wry amusement as she grabbed her phone. “Too bad for Chris that I’m married.”
He offered her a slight grin as he sidled to her, kissing her hair while he slid an arm around her. “And your husband is madly in love with you.”
She swiped at her screen, finding a message from the unknown, but now familiar number. Ava’s breath hitched as she read it aloud. “Welcome to the team. Buckle up because it’s going to be a bumpy ride.”
The image of a raven followed the text.
She flicked her gaze to her husband, searching his features. “I guess we’re really in this now,” she said, her voice a mix of determination and anxiety.
“Whatever’s coming, we’ll handle it,” Alex said, his voice steady as he pulled her closer to him. “Together.”
The single word spoke volumes to her, crushing past relationships where “together” had been questionable at best, where “together” had limits. With Alex, “together” had no limits, no qualifications.
She wrapped an arm around him and leaned closer, glad to be together…at last.