Chapter 11
I had a headache in the middle of Spirit Halloween. Plastic skeletons hanging from the ceiling, fog machines were burping out fake smoke, some possessed clown laughing every thirty seconds and my life turned into a Maury episode.
Steph held up a tiny red bodysuit with devil horns attached. “This one,” she declared. “This screams my baby daddy messy but my coochie healing.”
“Steph.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Be serious.”
“I am,” she said. “It’s giving rebirth through sluttiness.”
I snorted despite myself and leaned against the end of the aisle, hanger digging into my palm. Somewhere near the front of the store, Thriller blasted for the fourth time in twenty minutes.
Definitely hell.
She squinted at me. “You still thinking about yesterday?”
“No,” I lied.
“Yes,” she said immediately. “You doing that face.”
“What face?”
“The I’m holding it together so I don’t beat up my baby daddy face.”
I sighed and dropped whatever sparkly thing I’d been pretending to look at back on the rack.
“It’s just…” I rubbed my temples. “Of all the men in HighVille, I pick the one related to my baby daddy’s other child.”
“Technically you picked him before you knew,” she pointed out. “That’s on the universe, not you.”
“Universe or not, it’s messy.”
“Is it?” She cocked her head. “Or is it just inconvenient?”
“Inconvenient sounds mild as hell.”
“Girl, your baby daddy was already inconvenient,” she said. “This just gave it a storyline.”
I gave her a look.
She walked closer, dropping the bodysuit over her arm.
“Talk it out,” she said. “While we find an outfit that gonna make Batman malfunction.”
I rolled my eyes but let her steer me down the aisle toward the “sexy-but-I-pay-bills” section.
All night, the math kept replaying.
Kasen’s sister, Kasey.
Kori.
Troy.
Serenity.
My daughter and his niece sharing a daddy.
My baby’s sister…was his blood.
“What if it’s a sign I’m supposed to leave men alone,” I muttered, flipping past a Cleopatra costume that looked like it would split if I even inhaled.
“You been said that,” Steph reminded me. “And yet here we are in a Halloween store trying to make a man sweat.”
“He already sweats.”
“Exactly,” she said. “So we might as well commit.”
I huffed out a laugh and reached for a hanger without really looking.
“Mmm,” Steph hummed, eyes dropping to my phone in my hand. “He texted you yet?”
“Yeah.”
Her brows lifted. “And?”
“He said, how you feeling today like he ain’t attached to the mess,” I said, pulling my phone out properly.
BATMAN:
How you feeling today
I’d stared at it for five whole minutes this morning before answering.
Like my life got ghetto overnight, but I’m alive
You still going to the party tomorrow?
I bought a ticket and lashes. I’m going.
I’ll pick you up at 9.
I’d typed out three different responses before settling on:
Bring your ID and an open mind lol
He sent a single dot back like he regretted all his life choices.
Steph peered at the screen over my shoulder. “He picking you up and walking into a Halloween party with you. That’s a soft launch.”
“That’s not a launch.”
“Aight. That’s a progress report.”
“You know this the first time I’m going to a party with a man since Troy?” I said quietly, putting my phone away.
She sobered immediately at that.
“Exactly,” she said. “So we need something that say, I’m not the same girl you left traumatized in 2019.”
I rolled my eyes. “You get on my nerves.”
“And you in denial.”
She stopped, then grabbed something from the wall and held it up to my body.
It was a black lace catsuit with thin straps, a deep V and cutouts down the side.
“Absolutely not,” I said instantly.
“Why.”
“Because my ass’ll be out.”
“Your ass look good.”
“That’s not the point.”
“What is the point then?” she asked. “You wanna be cute or you wanna be comfortable?”
“Both.”
“Then we gotta balance it.” She slid the catsuit back. “Okay, no full lace. What about like…cute but sultry.”
“So me on a Thursday.”
“Exactly.”
My brain drifted again while she dug.
Last night, after SeaWorld, the house had felt too quiet.
The girls had passed out in the backseat before we even left the parking lot. Serenity’s head on Kori’s shoulder. Kori’s hand still clutching the little stuffed dolphin from the gift shop.
I’d watched them in the rearview the whole drive back.
My daughters.
Our girls.
Because like it or not, that’s what it was now. My child. His niece. Their shared DNA.
When we got home, Kasen had carried both of them inside. Serenity’s feet almost dragging. Kori drooling on his sweatshirt.
He’d laid them gently on my couch, covered them with one of my throw blankets, then just…stood there for a second staring down at them.
“You okay?” I’d asked, voice low.
He’d nodded once, the set of his shoulders tight.
“This is a lot,” he’d said. “But I meant what I said earlier. I’m here, Sev.”
I’d believed him.
That scared the shit out of me.
“Hello?” Steph snapped fingers in my face. “Ma’am.”
I snapped out of it. “What.”
“You zoned out and looked like you was plotting murder,” she said. “We in public. Save it.”
“Sorry. I’m thinking.”
“That’s your first mistake,” she said. “Stop thinking, start slutt?—”
“Steph.”
“Fine.” She held up another hanger. “What about this?”
It was a referee dress.
Black and white stripes, flared skirt, little whistle.
I squinted. “That’s corny.”
“That’s thematic,” she argued. “‘Cause your life chaotic as hell right now and you tryna call fouls.”
I laughed. “You doing a lot.”
“Okay but imagine.” She stepped around me, positioning me in front of a dingy mirror stuck to the end of the aisle. “Hair big, lashes on, some thigh-high socks, little sneakers. You blow the whistle every time Batman say some fine shit.”
“He already don’t talk much,” I pointed out.
“Exactly. You get to control when he gets penalized.”
“Steph.”
“What?”
I looked at my reflection. You could see the tiredness in my eyes. My lip gloss was half worn off and I had on an oversized tee with leggings on. Not referee material yet, but I could see it.
The little dress would hit mid-thigh. I could layer safety shorts under. Some knee socks. White sneakers. Maybe do my curls half-up, half-down. Big hoops.
Kasen would short-circuit.
“Your face just told on you,” Steph said, satisfied. “You like it.”
“It’s cute.”
“And comfortable,” she reminded me. “You can actually move. You can dance if the DJ not trash. And you know Batman gone be looking at your legs all night.”
Heat crept up my neck at the mental image. His eyes dropping slowly. The way his ears got pink when he liked something.
“It’s not too much?” I asked.
“It’s exactly enough,” she said. “You ain’t worn a short dress around that man yet?”
“Not that short.”
“Then it’s time,” she said. “You been in leggings and hoodies for five months. Let that man see what God did on a full night out.”
“God and pilates.”
“Exactly.”
I grabbed the costume from her slowly.
“Okay,” I said. “Referee it is.”
She clapped once. “A bitch loves a theme.”
We walked toward the accessories.
“But you still ain’t answered my question,” she said. “How you feel about all this really?”
I chewed my lip for a second.
“In shock,” I admitted. “Lowkey pissed. Confused. Grateful the kids already knew each other so I don’t gotta figure that part out from scratch.”
“They been on joint FaceTimes for months and nobody realized,” she said. “The way God be sitting back with popcorn…”
“I thought she was some random girl across town,” I said. “Not…Kasen’s niece.”
“Does it make you feel weird around him now?”
I thought about last night again.
The way he’d looked at me when I asked him to say it one more time, to repeat that he didn’t know and he did. His willingness to give me whatever reassurance I needed was everything.
“No,” I said slowly. “Not about him. I believe he didn’t know. I’d feel that energy if he was on some sneaky shit.”
“Exactly,” Steph said. “That man too awkward to hide a conspiracy.”
I smiled. “Shut up.”
“And honestly,” she continued, grabbing a pack of whistles, “it kinda works in your favor.”
“How?”
“Now y’all share more than Pinterest boards,” she said. “You share kids’ lives. You and Kasey gonna end up on some our baby daddy trash but we cousins now type bond.”
“I’m not claiming cousins.”
“You know what I mean,” she said. “Family-adjacent. Cookout-adjacent. You already liked Kori before you knew her daddy was Troy. That doesn’t have to change.”
It was true. Kori was sweet, funny and smart as hell. None of this was her fault. Same way none of it was Serenity’s fault.
The only person I wanted to smack was Troy, and honestly, that was consistent.
“I just hate that he still in the center of my life in any way,” I murmured, grabbing a pair of striped thigh-high socks.
“He would’ve been anyway,” Steph said gently. “Serenity ties y’all together forever. This just added another string.”
“Lucky me.”
“Nah.” She bumped my shoulder. “Lucky them.”
I looked up.
She nodded toward the end of the aisle.
A little girl and her mom were arguing over a princess dress. The girl’s face crumpled when the mom put it back.
“They got two whole squads looking out for them now,” Steph said. “You. Kasen. Kasey. Y’all all clearly love them. That’s not ghetto, Sev. That’s a community.”
I swallowed around the knot in my throat.
“Stop making sense,” I muttered. “I came here to be shallow.”
“You came here to slut it up for Batman,” she corrected. “Which, speaking of, what he wearing?”
“He said he didn’t know yet,” I said. “So I told him I was gonna bully him either way.”
“You should make him be like…a coach,” she said, eyes lighting up. “Since you a ref.”
“That’s corny.”
“That’s coordination.”
“Kasen not wearing a whistle,” I said. “He barely wearing jeans that aren’t black.”
“He’ll do what you tell him,” she sang. “Doesn’t he always?”
I could feel my cheeks getting red.
Steph caught it instantly.
“Oh yeah,” she said. “He definitely do.”
I busied myself with grabbing some cheap glitter for my eyes.
My phone buzzed again.
BATMAN:
I just got Kori. She asked if she can wear her dolphins shirt tomorrow to match Serenity.
My chest squeezed a little.
That’s fine. Tell her if she wears that I’ll do space buns so we can all be themed lol
What are space buns
You’ll see
The three little dots popped up. Disappeared. Popped up again.
Do I need a costume?
I bit my lip, smiling at the screen.
Yes, I’m being a referee so you got options lol
Such as?
Steph literally leaned her ear against my shoulder like she could hear his response.
“Tell him football player,” she whispered. “Basketball player. Anything with thighs out.”
“I’m not texting a man thighs out, Steph.”
“Coward.”
Idk, athlete, inmate lol something I can call fouls on
It took him a solid minute to answer.
I don’t understand the appeal of Halloween.
It’s the one night a year you get to be chaotic on purpose. Trust me It’ll be fun
Another pause.
If you say so.
I locked my phone, still smiling.
“You cheesing,” Steph sang. “Disgusting.”
I shoved her lightly with my hip. “Shut up and help me find lashes.”
“Already in your basket,” she said. “Now we need lip gloss, setting spray, and backup lash glue in case Batman make you cry.”
“Why would he make me cry.”
“Happy tears,” she said. “If he don’t, I will.”