Chapter 16
Val
If anyone told me I’d be huddled under a blanket, watching a movie in Jabari Hall’s movie room, I would’ve laughed them out of the place. Since that’s exactly what I’m doing, I pinch myself for a reality check instead.
After grabbing dessert, Jabari led us to the theater room, which has the most luxurious sectional I’ve ever seen. It’s deliciously soft, and I might actually fall asleep if he doesn’t pick a comedy or action film. The last thing I want to do is end up drooling and embarrassing myself.
But he won’t see that. Right.
Sometimes I forget Jabari is missing the specifics of certain things I take for granted.
I turn and stare at him, hoping he can’t sense that’s exactly what I’m doing.
His brown skin reminds me of the darkest honey.
His dark brown eyes are focused on the screen before us.
My head tilts as I look at his full lips.
They’re in a flat line like he’s frustrated.
Duh.
“Jabari?”
His head bends toward me. “Hmm?”
“Why did you suggest a movie?”
He sighs. “Is it that obvious I can’t see the remote or the TV that well?”
“No, but if I hadn’t been zoned out, I would’ve figured it out sooner.”
“I just needed my mom to stop treating me like an invalid. She might smother me to death.”
Oh boy. I can’t say I understand the sentiment exactly. I’m often overlooked or forgotten and have longed for some attention at times. But I can imagine what it’s like for a very capable hockey player to suddenly be treated as less than by those around him.
So don’t treat him like his mom or teammates might. I push back my hair, tucking it behind my ear.
“You know we don’t have to watch a movie, right?”
“Nah. It’ll be fine. If we watch something I’ve seen before, I can keep up. I definitely don’t want to attempt anything new.”
“May I ask why?” I bite my lip.
He runs a hand through his black curls. “When you can’t see the tiny items in the background that clue the audience in or the subtleties of body language, it’s harder to understand what’s happening in the movie.
I don’t get the context clues because I can’t see them.
If I’ve already watched the movie, I remember what happened.
If I’ve seen it often enough, I can even remember facial expressions.
My brain fills in the gaps my vision isn’t able to.
” He sighs. “That’s the best way I can think to explain it. ”
Lord, this has to be so hard for him. How can I share some of this burden? He won’t share the deep hurts with his mom, and though we’ve touched on some, maybe we need to go deeper in the hidden pain I’m sure is there.
“What’s your favorite movie?” I ask. With all the movies available to stream, there has to be some streaming app it’s playing on.
“I’m a huge fan of the Jurassic Park franchise. My mom had those on repeat for me growing up.”
“Did you have dinosaur action figures?” I can totally see a younger Jabari roaring and smashing dinosaurs together. At least, my nephew’s a fan of roaring and smashing his toys together.
Jabari grins. “I did. Usually got one or two for my birthday.” He shifts on the cushion. “What about you? Favorite movie?”
“My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It makes me laugh no matter how many times I’ve seen it.”
“Pretty sure there are no action figures for that.”
“Nope.” I tilt my head, thinking of my favorite toy when I was growing up. “Jackie and Fran were really big into Barbies, but all I needed was my Pillow Pet and Baby Alive.” I cover up my face, as embarrassment takes over. Why did I have to admit that to him?
“You guys are stair-stepped three years apart, right?”
“Mm-hmm. There was always some kind of tug-of-war around our toys. When Jackie became a teenager, I became the moderator to try and keep Fran out of her stuff.”
“Which probably means you let Fran play with yours.”
I nod. He hit the nail on the head. “It was the only way I knew how to keep the peace.”
“Are you still keeping the peace?”
“Yes.” I think of the argument Jackie and Fran had the other day. “They still quarrel often.”
“Who do you argue with?”
“Myself.” I snort. “Gosh, that’s so pathetic.”
“Nah, everyone does that.” He smiles.
Why is my mouth suddenly dry as a bone? Jabari’s eyes twinkle with amusement, and little grooves pop up with his wide grin. It’s so cute.
“Want to know something really pathetic?” he asks.
“Okay,” I drawl out.
“I give myself a pep talk on game days by looking in the mirror.”
“Really?” Why does the image have me stuffing down giggles?
“Really.” He groans and flops back against the cushion. “How can my career just be done like that?” He snaps his fingers. “I want a do-over so badly. Or at least an opportunity to deck Charles North for slamming me into the boards.”
I reach over, tangling my fingers with his. “God’s got you. I don’t know what your future looks like, but as long as He’s in control, you can be sure that He’s with you in the trial.”
A deep sigh falls from his lips, and I tense. Jabari and I never talk religion, other than my offering to pray. But the way that exhale sounds, a talk is coming.
“Why do you believe, Val? What about your life is so special because of God?”
I blink. My mind mentally scrolls over my life trying to find the right words to answer Jabari. Lord, please give me wisdom.
“You know my parents are divorced.”
“Right.”
“My sisters and I all handled the pain of them splitting differently. I don’t say this to be malicious or gossip . . .” I trail off, wondering if what I’m about to say next is the right thing.
“But . . . ?” Jabari squeezes my hand.
“Well, Fran became rebellious. She broke curfew, partied hard, all the things. Jackie started dating as if every guy she met had the answers.”
“Let me guess, you turned to God.” There’s no judgment in his voice.
I nod, then speak, remembering he might miss the motion.
“I did. The pain was still there, but it became bearable. It was like because God was there, I could process my emotions safely. I ranted, I cried more tears than I could count, and I held on to the comfort that He wouldn’t waste those moments of loss. ”
“I can’t comprehend it.” He shakes his head, as if trying to loosen his thoughts. “I don’t understand how you can trust in God when so much bad happens. There’s so much injustice in the world and hurt and . . .” His hand runs down his face.
“Jabari, there’s going to be sin in the world. It’s the result of Adam and Eve eating the forbidden fruit, for disobeying God. But that doesn’t mean that He doesn’t have a plan to right their wrongs.”
“But can’t He do it with a snap of His fingers? He could fix the world with one go like Thanos.”
“Sure, He could. He is God, after all. But one”—I hold up a finger—“who am I to say His way is wrong? Two”—I lift up a second finger—“what happens to all the people who are gone with the blink of an eye? He did that in the flood and promised never to do it again. He’s keeping His promise and giving all of us a chance to turn back to Him. ”
A look of concentration steals across Jabari’s face. It’s kind of adorable. Makes me wonder if that’s the same expression he wears when learning something knew.
“I can’t fault your logic.”
“But you want to?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.” He shrugs. “I just want the misery to stop. I thought hockey was the answer, and now I’m lost.”
Is hockey an idol for Jabari?
The thought crosses my mind, but I quickly swat it away.
Not because I don’t want to deal with the answer, but because I have no right to judge where he’s at.
If God is drawing Jabari near, I want to make sure I’m a light and not a hindrance.
If I dwell on the question too long, I could enter into judging—as I’m prone to do.
“Do you want to go to church with me?”
His brows raise. “I’m sure your family would love that.”
Drat. He has a point, but also, my fear of my family’s reaction shouldn’t prevent me from inviting someone who clearly needs Jesus to church. If inviting him means I come clean to Jackie, then so be it.
“Don’t worry about that. Do you want to come?” I hold my breath, waiting for his answer.
“Actually . . . yeah.”
I smile. “Then come. I can text you the info, so your driver has it.” I pause. “Or you can invite your mom with you, and she can drive.”
He groans. “Please don’t make me bring her along.”
“You’ll survive all the love and attention.” I let out a soft chuckle. He’s so cute when he’s like this.
What is up with you? First the adorable comment, now cute? You’ve got to stop cataloging his looks. He’s certainly not going to return the favor.
As much as I want to factor everything Jabari does by his own merits and actions, I still have twenty-twenty vision.
Jabari Hall is the very definition of a good-looking man.
Spending so much time with him, talking every single day, it’s all starting to mess up my mind and maybe even get the attention of my heart.
Remember, he cheated on Jackie.
“What time does your church start?”
I swallow. “Ten.”
“Oh, that’s not a bad time.”
“I think you’ll like it.” I hope he loves it. I’ve been praying for his heart to soften toward God since the very first comment he uttered about religion. If he accepts Jesus into his life, I will throw him a party and buy a cake. My own version of the fatted calf.
“We’ll see.” He hands me the remote. “Now pick a movie.”
“Jurassic Park or My Big Fat Greek Wedding?”
He scoffs. “Jurassic Park of course.”
“This better not make me fall asleep.” I find it on his streaming app and hit play.
“If you fall asleep during this movie, you obviously need the nap.”
I grin and settle into the cushions. Let’s see if this is as good as I remember.