Chapter 22
BECKETT
MY RESTRAINT SNAPPED.
Fuck the rules that had held me back, because Sawyer had just uttered the magic words, and nothing would stop me from getting him beneath me the way we both wanted.
I had us inside and his back against the door in a heartbeat. Sawyer gripped at my shirt, pulling me closer, and I didn’t know whether it was him or me that leaned in first, only that our mouths crashed together and his low moan shot straight to my dick.
I pressed my body up against his, caging him in, done talking myself out of this.
I kissed him, every look, every touch, every almost that had been piling under my skin all week finally having somewhere to go.
He met me there, hands sliding down my chest, moving under my sweater.
His fingers were cold from the chill outside, and I sucked in a breath as they ran over my skin.
“Yes, touch me,” I said against his mouth, encouraging the bold Sawyer that was coming out to play.
He gripped the edge of my sweater and began to pull it up, and I severed our lips’ connection only long enough to help him get it up over my head.
As I threw it out of the way, Sawyer’s gaze traveled over my body, and he shook his head when I turned back.
“God, how are you even real?” He ran his finger down the line of my abs, following the trail of blond hair that disappeared beneath the waist of my track pants.
I thought he’d yank them down—at least, that was what his eyes were telling me—but then he surprised me by pushing off the door and walking me back toward the bed.
Hell yes. Take what you want.
Sawyer reached for the back of his sweater, removing it in one swift move, revealing that lean body I wanted to run my tongue all over. He was impossible to resist, and now I didn’t have to anymore.
I slid my hand into his hair, wrapping my other arm around his waist, drawing him back to me so I could taste him again. Skin on skin, cocks hard and aching behind too many layers of fabric, and me, diving into that sweet mouth like I wouldn’t get the chance to again.
I brushed my thumb across the side of his neck, his heart beating fast, matching my own.
There was no stopping this time. One second we were kissing, clothes still on, and the next we’d stripped off each other’s pants and fell onto the bed in a tangle of limbs.
His body was against mine, his hands were on me, and things had gone from hot to explosive in a way that left me reeling. I squeezed his plump ass, forcing his rock-hard erection against mine. The friction left him gasping, and I swallowed it, sucking on his tongue and sliding my thigh between his.
He felt so damn good, fitting against my body like he was meant to be there. That should’ve scared me, but I was out of my head at the moment, focused solely on making him feel good. We were done playing our roles—or maybe they were just on hold for the moment.
Didn’t know. Didn’t care. Not when Sawyer shocked the hell out of me by pushing me to my back and straddling my hips.
He was breathing hard, his lips swollen and red and looking so damn good that I worried I might come too soon. Especially with the way his cock brushed against mine, and how he looked at me like he needed to take it all in or I’d disappear.
I wasn’t going anywhere.
“You’re so fucking hot,” he murmured, steadying himself with a hand on my abs. Then it moved lower, down to tease the head of my cock—our cocks. “You stay just like that. I need to…”
He didn’t finish that sentence, moving down my body to sit between my thighs. His hand curled around the base of my dick and he leaned forward, his mouth hovering over the head.
With his eyes locked on mine, his tongue came out to lick the pre-cum beading from the slit. I didn’t breathe as I watched him close his eyes and moan around the taste of me, the picture he made so hot I clutched at the sheets in an effort to stay still.
“Fuck, Sawyer,” I said as he wrapped his lips around my dick, opened his eyes to look at me, and swallowed me down.
It was involuntary, the way my back arched, making my hips shoot up to chase his mouth.
“Damn you’re good at that,” I said, and I didn’t miss the proud smile as he licked at me like I was his favorite Popsicle.
This version of Sawyer wasn’t tentative or shy, not anymore. He was taking what he wanted, and I thanked God in that moment that he wanted me.
Peter was an absolute fucking idiot.
My fingers tightened in Sawyer’s hair and he lifted his head, his hand still working me over.
“I need to fuck you,” I said, and he didn’t have to say a word; his blown-out pupils told me that was exactly how we both wanted this to go down.
He kept stroking me as he sat up, lips glistening with my pre-cum. “Where do you want me?”
“Any way I can have you.”
He gave me a sexy smirk, bent down to kiss the head of my dick, and then moved beside me on his hands and knees.
“Goddamn. You’re gonna kill me, aren’t you?”
He was perfect. All this time he’d been hiding the sexual menace that wanted to come out and play, and I was happy to entertain him for as long, and for as many times, as he wanted.
“Not until I have you,” he said, and I groaned, standing so I could grab a condom and lube out of my bag.
It’d been a little wishful thinking on my part when I’d packed it, but thank fuck I’d had enough sense to be prepared, because it would’ve been a tragedy if I’d had to resist Sawyer on all fours, his ass begging me to come take a bite.
He stopped me dead in my tracks, and it was all I could do to get the condom rolled on and lubed up with the way he looked at me over his shoulder.
Sawyer was beautiful, sexy beyond belief, but it was even more than that. The strength and vulnerability he showed made me want to wrap him in my arms and never let him go. To kiss him, breathe him in, fuck him, be with him, show him what it meant to be cared for emotionally and physically.
I’d known I wanted him, but it hit me then, as I climbed up behind him and ran my palm over his right cheek, just how much.
I touched him reverently, memorizing every inch of him as I lubed my fingers, spread him open, and slowly pushed one finger inside—getting him ready for me, stretching him, adding another finger when he pushed back on me, wanting more.
“So perfect,” I murmured, mesmerized by the sound of his breathing, all the soft moans he made as he begged for me to take him.
His hole beckoned, and God, I wanted to tongue-fuck him, spend hours learning what drove him out of his mind. I hoped I’d get a chance to, that tonight wasn’t the only time we’d be together like this.
But if it was…
I plumped his cheeks, spreading them and guiding my cock to his entrance. I was so hard I could punch through steel, and I had to force myself to enter him slowly, inch by inch. His ass was so tight and hot, taking all of my cock like he was made for me.
Sawyer dropped his head forward, finally taking in a deep breath when I bottomed out inside him, staying there and letting him get used to me.
Leaning over him, I wrapped my arm around his waist and pressed kisses along his spine, waiting for him to signal when he was ready for more, letting my throbbing dick have a chance to calm down so this wasn’t over too soon.
Shit, that had never happened before, and I wouldn’t let this be the first time.
“More,” Sawyer said, his ass clenching and strangling my cock.
I almost lost it then, had to slam my eyes shut to block out the picture he made and breathe through the overwhelming need to come inside him.
Not yet. Soon.
When I had a hold of myself again, I pressed a final kiss to his back and straightened, moving my hands to his hips so I could control the pace.
I drew out of him slowly, to the tip, and then pushed back inside.
Then again. And again. Faster and deeper, savoring every slide, every soft grunt he made. The way his fingers curled into the sheets, the sheen of sweat that covered his back. The muscles in his ass contracting, his tight hole eager to take all of me over and over, driving me out of my mind.
“Oh God…Becks…” Sawyer reached for his cock, giving himself a few strokes as he held himself up on one trembling arm.
“On your stomach,” I said, waiting until he’d dropped down to wrap one arm around a pillow, his other hand still between his legs.
I ran my palm up his spine, his ass canted in the air, and thrust inside him again. His position changed the angle, and God, he felt so good. I could live here, happily, for the rest of my life.
With that thought, I felt it—the climax that threatened, my body begging for release inside Sawyer’s beautiful body.
“Shit, I—” My words cut off as I stopped moving, still deep inside him, but Sawyer was intent on killing me.
“Give it to me,” he said, driving back on me hard, letting go of his dick to reach behind him for my hip, holding me tight to him. “I want it. I’m so close…”
That was all the permission I needed, and I began to drive inside him again at a relentless pace. He met me every time, our breathing syncing, movements becoming erratic as we barreled toward our releases.
His body seized up first, and it was the groan of ecstasy he made that set me off, my climax detonating deep inside him.
“Oh my God, Becks,” I heard him say, though the ringing in my ears muffled it.
Sawyer’s name fell from my lips like a prayer as I rode us through it, bodies slick with sweat, coming down from the heat of the moment.
When my hips stilled, I dropped my forehead onto his back, sucking in a deep breath. “Fuck.”
A low chuckle came from beneath me as Sawyer looked at me over his shoulder. “Fuck is right. Wow.”
I pressed a kiss to his back and lifted up, reluctantly pulling out of him.
Jesus. Skin flushed, body satiated… Sawyer looked even sexier after that epic orgasm, and it was all I could do to walk away from him, even for only a few seconds.
Heading to the bathroom, I removed the condom, tying it off and cleaning up quickly before returning with a towel and wet washcloth.
Sawyer was already on his back, chest rising and falling as he came down from the high, watching me as I rounded the bed.
He held his hand out, reaching for the washcloth, but if he thought I wasn’t using every opportunity to touch and take care of him, he was out of his mind.
I ran the wet cloth down his body, and surprise flitted through his expression before he dropped his arm back to the mattress.
I cleaned him off, slowly and thoroughly, taking my time and learning the lines of his body, every freckle and tattoo—filing it away for later, when words were a thing again.
Sawyer stared at me in wonder and swallowed when I finished drying him off and pulled the top sheet, wet with his cum, off the bed.
I started to stand again to leave the towels in the bathroom, but he caught my wrist, pulling me back to the bed.
I dropped them and moved in beside him, back to where I wanted to be anyway.
Those dark eyes of his were dazed, his body relaxed against the pillows, and I couldn’t help but take a kiss. Softly. Almost sweetly now that the hunger phase had passed.
For now, all I wanted was the quiet that came after. The soft drag of his fingers along my ribs, the warmth of his body pressed into mine, and the way he looked at me like he was still trying to figure out how we’d gotten here and whether he was allowed to believe it.
I didn’t know how to answer that question without making myself a liar all over again.
So I kissed his forehead. His temple. The corner of his mouth.
We lay there, tangled up together. Sawyer didn’t say anything for a while, which was so rare that I almost had to check and make sure he was still conscious.
But then his hand slid lazily over my stomach and settled there, possessive in a way I wasn’t sure he realized.
“That was…” He stopped, let out a low laugh, and tucked his face against my shoulder. “I don’t think my brain is working yet.”
“Same.” Mine wasn’t either, but for entirely different reasons.
I ran my fingers through his hair, feeling him relax against me. So open. So trusting.
And that was where the guilt found me again.
Not enough to ruin the moment, but it was there, reminding me every second that I kept my mouth shut. Because this hadn’t been casual. It wasn’t part of my role or a game or some blurred line we could blame on the wine.
This was Sawyer. And I wanted all of him.
His heart. His ridiculous commentary at the worst possible times, the way he made a room warmer just by walking into it.
The way he’d looked at me tonight like I was someone he wanted to keep…
I felt his breathing change, slowing down and evening out, and when I looked down, his eyes were closed.
“Becks?” he murmured.
“Yeah?”
“Don’t go anywhere.”
The words came out sleepy, a little slurred, but they hit me directly in the chest.
My throat was tight as I held him closer. “I’m right here.”
Sawyer made a small, satisfied sound, and then he was out, still curled into me.
I stared up at the ceiling for a long time after that, running my hand along his back slow and steady, even as everything inside me turned restless.
I had to tell him. Soon. Because I wasn’t pretending anymore.
And if I wanted the right to stay, he deserved to know whom he was asking.