Chapter 24
BECKETT
I’D NEVER BEEN prouder of someone I had no right to want this much.
Sawyer stood in front of me wearing my sweatshirt and track pants from last night, his cheeks flushed, eyes still sharp from what he’d just burned to the damn ground outside.
And make no mistake, he’d burned the last of his relationship with Peter to ash.
I hadn’t heard all of it, but I’d heard enough. Enough to know Peter had finally pushed too far. My instinct had been to go out there, but Sawyer hadn’t needed me. Not for that. He’d stood there in my clothes and handed that man every ugly piece of himself back.
That victory belonged to Sawyer, and I wasn’t about to take it from him.
Peter’s footsteps faded down the path, and Sawyer didn’t look back. That might’ve been the thing that did me in the most. Not the words, not the fire, not the way he’d cut clean through Peter’s bullshit, but the fact that when it was over, he’d come straight to me.
His chest was rising and falling a little too fast, all that adrenaline still flowing beneath his skin, and I drew him in closer. His hands landed on my bare chest, still cool from being outside, and my stomach tightened beneath his palms. Of course he noticed, because his mouth curved.
“You heard.” Not a question.
“Enough.”
“And?”
I slid my hand around the back of his neck, his pulse still racing beneath my thumb. “And I’ve never wanted to kiss you more.”
His smirk faltered, just for a second, as he took that in. Then it came back with a sexy edge to it. “Because I told my ex to go fuck himself before coffee?”
“That helped.”
He laughed, a little breathless and shaky, and I pulled him closer until there wasn’t much space left between us.
“But no,” I said, lowering my voice. “It’s because you didn’t look back.”
Sawyer’s fingers stilled against my chest.
There it was. That was the part he felt, not the fight, not the victory lap. The walking away and choosing himself. For the first time in a long time, Peter had become something behind him instead of in front of him.
He stood there, not rushing to fill the silence, still trembling faintly from the aftershock of everything he’d just said outside. Then his hand slid higher, over my collarbone, his thumb brushing the hollow at the base of my throat.
“I didn’t want to,” he said, and the honesty in his words nearly took me out.
I leaned in to kiss him, but Sawyer beat me to it. He crashed his mouth into mine with heat and hunger, obviously still riding the high of what he’d just done.
His fingers dug into my shoulders and he pushed into me hard enough that I took a step back. Then another. It was hot as hell having him take what he wanted, giving all that adrenaline somewhere to go.
I didn’t mind his letting it all out on me one bit.
Sawyer broke the kiss, breathing hard. “You know what’s really annoying?”
I almost smiled. “Tell me.”
“You stood there looking all proud of me.”
“I am proud of you.”
“Yeah, see, that.” His hands slid down my chest, and every inch they traveled made it harder to think. “You say things like that, and then you look at me like that, and you stand there half naked being all supportive and hot and emotionally competent.”
“Supportive and hot?”
“And emotionally competent,” he said, fingers flirting with the band of my briefs. “Keep up.”
I chuckled, but it died in my throat when his hands slid around my waist and trailed down to my ass. The hunger in his eyes told me exactly where this was heading.
“I spent way too long with someone who made me feel like I was too much. I don’t want to think about him anymore.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I know.” His gaze dropped to my mouth, then back up. “That’s kind of the point.” He squeezed my ass, pressing our hips together and letting me feel his arousal.
Fuuuck.
“Sawyer…”
“Let me have this.” His teeth grazed along my jaw. “Let me have you.”
I wasn’t saying no to him—that wasn’t even a thought in my mind. He was reclaiming his power, going after what he wanted, and if that was me, he could have me.
Simple. Easy.
Except for the unwanted thought niggling the back of my mind. I could tell him now…but God, the way he was looking up at me, finger sliding along the thinly covered crease of my ass…
“Take whatever you want,” I said, barely getting the words out before he kissed me again, hard and deep, and then backed me up, not toward the bed, but the door.
My back hit the wood as Sawyer crowded me in, never breaking our connection, angling his head to suck on my tongue.
I moaned around the onslaught, cradling his head in my hands as he reached down to palm my erection. It didn’t take much to make me hard as a fucking rock when I was around him, but watching him take control had done it even quicker.
“Gonna make you come,” he whispered against my lips, “down my throat.”
Fuck. Me.
When he pulled back to look at me, my head hit the door. That reaction was apparently all Sawyer needed—a sexy glint entered his dark eyes and he sank to his knees, sliding my boxer briefs down with him.
I threaded my hands through his hair, needing something to hold on to, because seeing him down there—and still wearing my clothes—was so damn sexy. I felt greedy, dying for his mouth to wrap around me again, like he hadn’t already blown my mind last night when he sucked my cock.
He cradled my balls in one hand, looking up at me under his lashes as his mouth finally made contact.
I sucked in a breath when he flicked his tongue across the head, fingers curling around my shaft. Then his mouth slid down, inch by inch, and I was mesmerized, couldn’t stop watching how I disappeared between his lips.
“So fuckin’ sexy,” I murmured, tightening my fingers in his hair.
A growl escaped his throat, the vibration around my dick sending a shiver through me. The sensation was too much and not enough, and like he knew, he moved his mouth faster, getting me off at a pace that meant I wouldn’t last long.
Sawyer knew exactly what he was doing, dragging those full lips up and down my length, then switching things up and pumping me with his hand so he could gently suck and lick along my sensitive glans underneath.
“Sawyer, shit. That feels…too good.”
I was a man gone, and the sinful look Sawyer gave me told me he knew that and was feeling supremely satisfied about it.
He was a man who knew exactly how to drive me out of my mind, and he was not letting up.
Not when my legs began to tremble, or when I shoved my hips forward, somehow getting even deeper.
And sure as hell not when I warned him I was getting close, because that only seemed to spur him on.
“Oh God. Sawyer—” My breath hitched and our eyes connected just as the rush of my climax swept me away. I think I shouted his name, or maybe I just yelled—I didn’t know, because my ears were ringing, my body went white hot, and the ecstasy was more than I could take.
Sawyer swallowed every last drop of me, the back of his throat working around the head of my cock and sending ripples of pleasure throughout my entire body. It felt never-ending, and he sucked me through it, watching me fall apart.
My fingers loosened in his hair, and I ran them through his dark strands as my vision slowly came back.
Sawyer was still kneeling at my feet, and he drew his lips off me and pressed a kiss to the tip.
He was so unbelievably beautiful. That was all I could think as I stared down at him, and then held my hand out to help him to his feet.
His grin wasn’t shy at all—he was fully owning the fact that he’d left me speechless.
He wiped the corner of his mouth and then caged me in once again, his hands moving to either side of my head on the door. “Now that was better than coffee.”
“Please don’t write that down at the next game night.”
“Oh you know I wi—” He stopped suddenly, as if something had occurred to him, and then his smile slowly grew. “The next game night? You plan on being around for that?”
The fact my heart skipped a beat then had nothing to do with the insane orgasm he’d just given me and everything to do with realizing how badly I wanted more than just this week with him.
“Well,” I said, moving my hands to his waist, “that depends.”
“On what?”
“On you.”
Sawyer’s grin softened and he leaned in to kiss me, giving me his answer without words.
“I don’t want you rushing into something you’re not ready for,” I said when we pulled back, cupping his face between my hands. “But I won’t lie. I’d like to see where this goes.”
Won’t lie? You are lying.
Sawyer bit his lower lip, but the flush of his cheeks gave him away. “I want that too.”
Fuck. Now was the time to do it. I had to tell him the truth before this went any further. Feelings were starting to get involved, and that wasn’t fair to him.
It was terrible timing. I was naked, still coming down from the high, and about to ruin Sawyer’s morning of feeling on top of the world after shutting down Peter.
I should’ve done it sooner. It had never seemed like the right time, but was there ever a right time to say you weren’t the man someone thought you were?
I took a deep breath and met his eyes, so warm and trusting. He didn’t deserve this.
And just as I opened my mouth, someone began to pound on the door.