Chapter 2
Aspen
“Iknow what you mean, Sherry. It’s a hard thing when you lose someone you love.
I know it’s hard to get out of bed sometimes.
But you have to remember that Paris needs you.
She’s hurting too even though it’s not the same thing.
He was her uncle. I know he’s your brother but he was still an important part of her life too.
And she recognizes that you’re sad and hurt. It upsets her too.”
Everyone in the circle around me nods their heads. Bobby nods his head. “When Pam was killed, I had a helluva time getting going. But Scotty needed me. He needed me to get him up and moving. To hold him when he cried. And you know, sometimes it helped me too. I needed that connection.”
I smile. “That’s exactly right. The more you let other people in, the better you feel sometimes. You can’t close yourself off. It will only stunt your recovery.”
I should take my own advice. I’ve heard that time and time again from my mother, my sister even my father.
But it’s easy to say. And I had my great love. And a best friend that was everything to me. I lost both of them
So you’ll forgive me if I choose to keep my heart locked up and locked down. Especially around here.
I love to help military families with grief counseling. But the guys around here? Military men everywhere you look. And I don’t want anything to do with that way of life anymore. I lost too much already.
“Alright, guys. I think that’s our time for tonight. I hope that you’re able to come back again. Have a great night! And if you ever need to talk to me alone, y’all have my phone number. Feel free to call to talk anytime you need to.”
Low mumblings of good-bye and have a good night are called to me as I meet them at the door and they get hats and coats to head out into the cold night.
I set aside one of the rooms in my little house for my counseling practice. It’s my own labor of love. I don’t actually need to ever work again. Both Mike and Jared left me very comfortable. If I live frugally, I don’t need to work. But it would drive me nuts.
But there is something that I need to do and that’s help other people like me.
“Thank you for coming. I really appreciate you guys.” I follow them outside and wave good-bye.
Which is where I see him. My gut clenches as the guy I’ve been thinking about since I saw him a few nights ago at The Rusty Spur pops into view, waving hello to one of the women that’s in my group.
She smiles and stops to talk to him and he gives her a hug, lingering just a little too long for my liking.
I turn away, clenching my fists. “It’s none of your business. She’s an adult.”
But Serena is still pretty fragile since her husband was killed overseas in a roadside bombing last year. She’s definitely not ready to deal with the charming man that tried to hit on me at the bar the other night.
When I turn back around, his golden-brown gaze is locked in on me. His full lips open in a cocky smirk as he waves at me.
Gasping, I frown at him. Doesn’t faze him in the least.
He nods at Serena and jogs over to me, all sizzling energy and sexy masculinity.
I don’t need that.
“What are you doing here?” I ask him, sharp and brittle.
“I was just passing by and saw Serena and stopped to say hi. Just good luck that I saw you too.”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
He grins. “You’re a bit prickly, aren’t you?”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I shiver. I didn’t put my coat on and I’m regretting it now.
He notices and shrugs out of his bomber jacket. “Here. You’re going to freeze out here. Where’s your coat?”
Trying to shrug out of his jacket, I twist left and right as he holds it on me. “I’m fine. I don’t need your coat.”
“You are a stubborn woman, Red. Don’t bite your nose off to spite your face.”
“Ugh. Fine.” His jacket settles around me and the scent that lingers in it has my head spinning. Spice and heat. Vanilla. Something dark and dangerous.
Damn, it smells good. I suck in another breath, trying to hide the subtle sniff but the cocky bastard sees and grins.
“You didn’t tell me what you’re doing over here. There’s nothing on this side of town.”
“I was at a friend’s house and I happened to see Serena. Told you that.”
“How do you know her?” Curiosity hits me and I can’t stop myself from asking.
“She’s the wife of one of my buddies.”
“Oh.” Nodding, I pat his arm and his head dips to watch my hand on the fabric of his sleeve. He’s wearing a flannel shirt in blue and green and when I look up into his eyes, there’s a flash of green in their honey depths reflecting from the fabric.
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
He nods and ducks his head, clearing his throat. “It happens.”
“I know.”
His head shoots up and those amber eyes of his lock on me like heat-seeking missiles. “I heard. I’m sorry for your loss.”
Sucking in a sharp breath, I nod my head at him, staring at the fog of my breath in the cold air. “Thank you.”
It’s automatic. I can’t stop the words even though I’m tired of saying them. Tired of thinking about it. It’s been three years and I’m sick to death of finding my head swimming with the loss over and over again.
“I’ve got to go.” I take off his coat and hand it back to him, turning to head indoors.
“Hey. Do you want to have coffee some time?”
“No, thank you. I really don’t have time.” And before he can say another word, I head inside, shutting the door and shutting out the man with the golden-brown eyes and the sexy, sinful smile.
I don’t have time for feelings anymore. I’m too old and too damn tired.