Chapter 3
Jaxon
“Hey, guys! What did I tell you? Make sure and keep your focus on your opponent at all times. It’s possible to know what’s going on around you while you keep your eyes on the guy who wants to kill you. It takes a little practice but it’s possible.”
All of the newbies nod their heads but I sigh. Most of them are getting it but there are always a few that think that they’re the karate kid or something. Wax on and wax off doesn’t work for everything. No matter what your sensei says.
“Now. Get back up and face your opponents again. Keep your focus on that guy in front of you but remember to listen to what’s going on around you.
If you’re in a firefight, you can’t figure that these guys are going to play fair and let you go one on one.
You gotta figure that you might end up with some asshole trying to sneak up behind you to help his buddy out. ”
More nodding and the kids all line up facing each other. With a loud whistle, the room erupts into combat. One move after another. I move between the groups, keeping my attention focused at all times on the movements around me.
Muted combat erupts in my head and bombs explode around me. Shouts and screams and chaos everywhere.
“Hey, man! You good?” Shaking myself like a dog shedding water I nod my head. A couple of my recruits eye me like I’m a bomb about to go off.
“Alright, everybody. That’s it for today!
Get your asses out of here and make sure you practice this shit on your own!
I’m not your mama so I won’t come to check on you but if you show up to your next class and I know, because I will, that you didn’t do a damn thing to get yourself in better shape with this stuff than we’re gonna have a problem.
And it will be a you problem not a me problem. ”
A few chuckles all around and then they’re slamming out of the room, loud and boisterous.
Damn, I feel old when I get around the new guys. I stalk out of the room, ignoring the hollers all around me.
I can’t believe I had another damn flashback in class.
I thought I was done with that shit. I did the therapy route and I felt better but it seems like every damn year around this time it all creeps back in on me.
Maybe it’s because of the snow all around.
Maybe it’s the cold and the fact that I don’t get out as much so I’m not as tired when I get home.
There’s too much time to think if I’m home.
Too much time to second-guess every damn decision I ever made over the years.
All my mistakes. All the disasters that I was involved in.
All the people I lost. Every bit of it choking me while I stood there. Choking me in my sleep, leaving me wondering if I could have changed it, done something different…better.
“I need a drink,” I mutter to myself.
But it’s too early and I’ve got another class this afternoon. For now…it’s time for a little treat for myself. My favorite coffee at Timberline Espresso. Anya’s drinks are the best and I’m a fiend for the caffeine. I need an espresso badly.
Fifteen minutes later I’m standing in line trying to keep my eyes from straying behind me.
The huge windows have the best view of the mountain peaks in town, I swear.
It’s awe-inspiring. Especially on a clear day like today.
I can see the frosted peaks of snow-capped mountains and the clouds that hang over the tops.
The snow glistens in the weak sunlight like a shining link of diamonds.
The door opens and I draw in a sharp breath. In the bright light today, Aspen is ethereal. I’ve been searching out a little bit of intel about her but every little bit just makes me want to know more.
All those curves barely hidden under her adorable olive green peacoat with the hood with gray fur trim that outlines the most beautiful face I’ve ever seen.
Like a fine sculptor took a piece of pale marble and his hands made a masterpiece of the perfect woman, giving her high cheekbones, a dusting of freckles on her dainty little nose and almond-shaped eyes with dark, long lashes that flutter angrily at me every time she sees me.
Those eyes look up and she freezes, like she’s about to turn back around and head out the door before I see her.
Grinning, I lift my hand up and mouth, “hello!”
I swear I almost hear her soft groan but then she gives me the tiniest of nods and smiles and stalks over to the line that’s waiting for the magic brew.
And like an idiot who can’t help himself, I drop out of my place as next in line to go stand behind her. She stiffens and studies the menu board like she can’t quite figure out the strange language of coffee.
“Hi, Aspen. How are you today?”
“I’m good, Jaxon. How are you?”
“Oh, I’m good. It’s an amazing day, isn’t it? Hard to believe they’re calling for a storm tomorrow, huh?”
She nods her head but those amazing eyes never look away from that board.
“So, wanna go out? Or hey, maybe we can have that coffee date now since we’re both here?”
Her head whips around and the rusty-red curls lit with gold in the weak sunlight dance around her pale cheeks when her hood falls down.
Those same cheeks immediately flush with crimson when she notices that my eyes are locked on her.
“I never said I’d go out with you anywhere so I’m not sure why you seem to think that we’re going to have coffee together. Or anything at all, really.”
“I’m trying to be nice. I hear that you’re new in town.”
She smirks at me and for just a moment, her pale green eyes dance. “Are you the official or unofficial welcoming committee?”
Choking on a laugh, I smile at her. “Good one. Actually, you might say that I’m the unofficial greeter for Pine Valley. I like to keep up with who’s new and who’s just here for vacation. The skiing up here is amazing, you know. Brings in a lot of out-of-towners.”
She nods her head at me, a thoughtful look in her eyes. “Yes, there are a lot of vacationers. No, I’m not one of them. I moved here awhile ago.”
“I know. Mick told me. Or I heard it around town. I can’t remember actually.”
Her pretty eyes roll and there’s a subtle curve to her pink lips that makes me want to dance. She almost laughed!
I’m as giddy as a schoolboy with his first crush around her and I don’t know why exactly. But there’s something special about her.
“Gossip. It’s rampant around here.” Then those pretty lips turn down again. “I’ve heard about you too.”
She turns to face forward and I don’t think I’m going to get her attention again.
I’m sure I know exactly what she’s heard. I’m a playboy. The guy that’s never serious around here. The guy that loves them and leaves them.
And I shouldn’t feel bad about that. I’ve never led any woman on to believe that we were anything but temporary.
But in the soft, pale green of Aspen’s eyes? The disappointment cuts like ice.
My heart aches as I watch her move forward, lost as to what exactly to say to get her to smile again.
She’s so close that I can smell the peppermint, taste the warmth of her soft skin. See the spring green of her eyes like a jewel glowing in amongst the masses.
I’m drawn to her like a compass to its true north, but there’s no way that she’s going to give a guy like me the time of day when she knows exactly what I am.
She’s a loyal, beautiful woman who has so much to give a man. A man who’s looking for more than just a good time.
Unlike me. I have no illusions about what or who I am.
Apparently, neither does she.
I step up to the counter as she walks out the door and it feels like she’s taking a piece of me with her. A small, vital piece that I might never get back. My chest aches as the bright halo of her hair disappears around the corner.
God, I miss the heat of that light. Miss those eyes and that stunning smile that you have to fight to win.
This woman is worth more than any woman I’ve ever met. Somehow, some way I need to find out more about her. Need to get her to notice me as something more than the local horndog.
I wish she saw all of me. I’ve never wished for that ever before. But for her? I’d like her to know why I’m the way I am.
I want her to know that there’s more to me than just a pretty face. I want her to see my heart.
Gasping for air, I lean against the counter taking a first sip of my coffee.
I’ve officially lost my mind, thinking any woman would want more than just the exterior.
I am what I am and there’s no chance to change that.
Not even for a woman like her.