Chapter 7
Jaxon
Idon’t know what the hell is going on but I know one thing. This woman is driving me nuts. The scent of her is almost as sweet as peppermint candy. Addictive and sweet and tempting as hell.
The air in the truck is close and warm. And yet I want more of it…more of her scent, more of her laugh, more of her smile.
Just more.
And although I should be keeping my distance because there’s something about her that tells me that I’m going to be fucked if she runs. I’m going to be lost.
That’s a scary thing for a guy like me that’s spent his whole life running in the opposite direction. Now I just want her to run to me.
Speaking of….”I heard all the women on the base and in Pine Ridge talking about how you don’t stick with any one woman. It’s well-known. So why should I let myself get any closer to you.”
“You want to know why?”
“It’s not necessary. We don’t have to talk about anything like that.”
“I think that we do. I want you to know me. I mean, really know me.”
“Okay.”
“I lost my parents when I was eight.”
“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry.”
“It’s alright. I got over it a long time ago.”
“But have you really? Because you do your best to make sure you don’t get close to anyone. Don’t you think one thing might have something to do with another?”
“I guess. But really, I have gotten over it. But when I lost my parents, I was taken to my grandmother’s to live.
And she was the best. She didn’t take my shit even when I was acting up because I was freaking pissed that they died.
She just put me to work on her farm. At the time, I thought that it was horrible, working for her. That she was just mean.”
My heart jerks in my chest and I struggle to keep the neutral look on my face. I miss that woman.
“Was she mean?”
My lips curl into a gentle smile. Nana was something special.
She was strict but I needed it. When my parents died all I wanted to do was act out.
I wanted the world to know how damn mad I was every dang day of my life.
But Nana understood that. And she funneled it into working on whatever she could come up with.
Yard work, cleaning the bathroom, doing my laundry, doing my homework.
All of it designed to help one lonely and angry little boy find a way to get over the worst day of his life.
“No, she wasn’t mean. She just believed in discipline, sometimes to the exclusion of everything else. She thought that if you had that fundamental basis for your life, everything else just kinda fell into place.”
“She sounds like a wonderful woman.”
“She was. She passed away as soon as I left for the military. I was on my first mission overseas and they couldn’t get ahold of me so I didn’t make it back for the funeral.”
“I’m so sorry, Jaxon. That is awful.”
“It wasn’t great. I got to come back to take care of all the things that needed taken care of though. I had no use for the house so I sold it and took care of all the estate things before I went back. I’ve been in ever since.”
“Was your grandmother the last of your family?”
“Yes, yes she was. I was an only child of only children.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Do you have brothers and sisters?”
A grin tickles her pretty lips. She flushes and bites her lower lip. “Yes. One of each. Although I don’t see my brother as much as I used to. He’s very busy.”
“What about your parents?”
“They’re good. They got divorced a few years ago but they stayed friends.
They just weren’t right for each other. My mom married again.
A really nice man who seems to really understand her.
My dad is happy with his hunting and fishing and woodworking.
He doesn’t seem interested in getting married again. He doesn’t even really date.”
“Is your sister married?”
Nodding, she bites her lip again and turns to stare out the window. “Yeah, she is.”
Nothing else.
Glancing over at her I frown. “I’m going to guess that it’s not a happy marriage.”
“She…well, she can’t…they’re arguing about family things.”
“Do they have children?”
“They do not.”
Nodding my head, I keep my thoughts to myself. I’ve got an idea but it’s personal and I don’t think it’s really any of my business.
“How do you get along with your sister?”
“She’s great but she’s really busy with her job. She works as a lawyer. She’s working on her partnership.”
Nodding again, I glance over at her. “What about you? What do you want, Red?”
Sighing, she leans her head on the cold window and my heart squeezes in my chest. I want to reach over and tug her over to sit by me, hug her, kiss her. Just hold her until she feels better.
“I am just doing the counseling right now. I quit my job when my…”. She stops talking and her hands fidget in her lap. Then she takes a deep breath and squares her shoulders, looking at me. “My husband and my best friend passed away.”
“Your best friend?”
“All three of us went to school together and when we got older, Jared was my best friend and I fell in love with Michael.”
“And they both went into the military together.”
“Yes. They made a pact and both of them went into the Air Force.” Her eyes go hazy and she smiles softly.
“They both dreamed of being pilots from the time that movie came out in the 80’s.
Top Gun.” She laughs and a smile tilts my own lips.
It’s rusty like she doesn’t laugh very often.
But so damn cute that I want to hug her again for another reason.
Then her smile disappears and I want to tell her that’s enough. Want to tell her that she doesn’t need to tell me anything else. I don’t want to see her hurting.
But I stay quiet. I get the feeling she hasn’t talked about her own loss at all.
“They were both killed in a helicopter crash on a mission over in Afghanistan to get some guys that had been injured in a fire fight. Both helicopters went down and there were no survivors.”
She says it with cool detachment but her chin wobbles and a single tear trickles down her cheek. My whole body goes taut. I can’t stand this. I hate it so much. She’s so sweet and gentle and she needs this…but damn, it’s hard to watch. To listen to the pain in her gentle voice.
“What happened after that?”
She draws in a deep, shuddering breath. “After that…”. Her voice goes quiet and she whispers, “there’s no after that.”
“You’re still alive, Aspen. Pretty sure neither one of them would want you to just curl up and live like a spinster. They’d want you to be happy.”
She shoots me a dark look, her cheeks pale. “I am happy.”
“You’re surviving and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’ve been doing the same for a long time. I lost everyone that ever meant anything to me. But I put myself back out there. I’m living.”
She shoots me a narrow-eyed look. “You’re not living. You’re pushing all your pain down by fucking around with any woman you can get and doing your level best to stay heart-free. That’s not leaving yourself open to love, I hope you know.”
“Says the pot to the kettle.”
Her hand waves at me then she chuckles. “Okay. Point taken. Both of us are doing the same thing but in vastly different ways.”
We pull into the trailhead and I park the truck, turning to look at her. “I want you to know, that all of what you said is true. But I’m working on things right now. I’m trying. Can you say the same?”
She eyes me for a second and then nods her head, chewing on that luscious mouth again. “I think I might be.”
Grinning, I pull my key out and toss it up in the air. “So let’s go on a hike and see how things go from here.”
“I will if you will.”
She turns to jump out of the truck and then nods her head slowly. “I think this might be good for both of us.”
Smiling to myself, I quietly reply. “I think you’re absolutely right, Red.”
She gets her coat zipped and pulls on her gloves and we’re off, with me leading the way.
Off to an adventure and hopefully a good afternoon that turns into one of many.