Chapter 3
My head was whirling. Between Heath showing up here without a word after months, and the things he revealed while fighting with Johann, had been enough to cause it.
But add to it my blood sugar dropping low, and I was exhausted.
All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep.
Maybe if I did that, I’d wake up to find this was a dream.
The way Johann was treating Heath, as if he and those Dark Patriots he worked for were walking gods, I worried I’d lose my protector.
Oh, I knew that he’d never leave me at the mercy of someone who would harm me.
I had no doubts about that. But if he believed Heath and his friends wouldn’t harm the baby and me, he’d step back.
His concern about what to do with me when he returned to his team had been genuine.
He had insisted that I marry him so he could ensure the baby and I were taken care of.
If he were killed, we’d get his survivorship money, this house, and all his other money and belongings, plus Social Security for the baby until he or she turned eighteen, and then even beyond with some benefits.
Every time he mentioned us marrying, I got sick to my stomach.
It wasn’t because he was disgusting, though we’d never be able to have sex.
It was due to the thought of him dying. It seemed to be tempting fate if we did.
I kept reminding Johann that if we married, he’d be signing himself up for a platonic marriage.
Johann had argued so would I. In my case, it didn’t matter.
If I couldn’t be with Heath, then I wasn’t interested in sex with anyone else.
However, Johann wasn’t pining away for someone like I was.
He had a good chance of finding someone and being happy.
Heath’s confession of love and wanting to raise the baby together was making my head pound worse. What if he was just saying that? I didn’t need or want his confession of love and desire for our child if it was all just chivalry.
“Heath, I’m perfectly capable of raising my baby without you or Johann sacrificing yourselves.
He’s being sweet because he wants to leave the baby and me with benefits and his assets if something should happen to him.
As for you, if you truly want to be in this baby’s life, the necessary arrangements can be made.
Since it appears you were away on an assignment, I won’t exclude you from its life.
You don’t have to claim to love me or utter a false desire to raise it with me. ”
A low rumbling sound escaped Heath. His brows furrowed. His expression was grim.
“Johann, I need to speak to Danae alone. It seems we have things to iron out.”
“There’s no need for that!” I said, my voice sounding an octave or two higher.
I refused to be alone with him. I had very little resistance to him if he tried to persuade me. Being this close to Heath had my body reacting sexually. Thank God, they couldn’t see my nipples or the state of my panties.
“Heath, man, I don’t know. She’s like my sister. I won’t allow her to be mentally or physically harmed.”
I gave Johann a grateful smile. Heath reached behind his back and came back around with a handgun. As I gasped, he held it out to me, offering it to me handle-first.
“Here. Take this. If I make you scared for your safety, shoot me.”
I shook my head, putting up my hands to ward off the gun. I shrank back against the pillow.
“No, no, don’t give me that. I’m not shooting you.”
“I’ll never harm you, Danae. I’m sorry that I hurt you emotionally and made you doubt me, but that’s over with, and it won’t happen again. As for physically hurting you, I’d cut off my own arm first. Or blow out my brains.”
I cringed at that mental image. “God, don’t say that,” I protested.
“I’m going out on a limb here. I’m gonna trust you. Don’t make me regret it. Danni, you need to hear him out and talk this through. Keep the gun with you. I’ll be within earshot. If you shout, I’ll come running. I’m not afraid to use his gun or mine.” The warning was evident in his tone.
Johann’s gaze held Heath’s for a few counts, then both nodded to each other.
“Johann, don’t leave—” he cut my plea off as he stepped close and dropped a kiss on my forehead.
“I’m doing this for you and the baby. Listen to him,” he whispered before he straightened.
He gave a single chin lift to me before strolling out of the room. The direction he took, down the hallway, would take him to the laundry room, the bathroom, or his office.
Heath crouched next to me again. “May I sit next to you?”
Knowing I had to be an adult about it, I sighed. I swung my feet to the floor.
“Whoa, no need for you to sit up. I’ll slide under your feet. Before we get started, do you need anything else? Was that enough food? Juice? Are you warm enough?”
As he asked, Heath reached for the throw on the back of the sofa. I leaned toward him and placed my hand over his.
“I’m fine the way I am. Thank you.”
I tried not to let the tingle shooting from where our skin met distract me. He raised my feet a smidge, then he slid beneath them. Instantly, his hands began massaging my feet. I moaned despite my attempt to hold it in.
“Before we get into anything else, what have the doctors said about you and the baby? Why is your blood sugar dropping? How often do you experience that happening?”
“What can they say? It isn’t unusual for a woman to become hypoglycemic during pregnancy.
They want me to eat regular, smaller meals and to eat whenever I feel extra shaky.
The greater concern is developing high blood sugar, hyperglycemia.
Gestational diabetes isn’t good for Mom or the baby.
As for why it’s happening, they really don’t know.
It started a week ago. I’ve had it drop three, no, four times.
I was stupid and didn’t eat enough at lunchtime, but I’m good now. ”
“Are you two healthy? Should there be other things you should be watching out for, or done to keep both of you healthy?”
“I saw the doctor monthly until this happened. Now, until she’s sure it’s controlled, I’m on an every-other-week schedule.”
Heath stayed quiet for a solid ten seconds before he sighed. “Okay, then let’s talk about us. You heard what Undertaker said. I didn’t leave you on purpose. I was stupid, though. I assumed it would take a few days, max a week. I didn’t want to tell them about you, then leave.
“For one thing, they’d ask a hundred questions, and we didn’t have time for that. Secondly, I knew if they knew about you, you’d be descended upon. I was afraid that would alarm you. I wanted to be with you when they did.”
When he paused, I asked, “Descended upon? Why would your bosses do that?”
“Not the guys, well, probably not them, but their wives, for sure. They wouldn’t be able to wait to meet you.
And when those women set their minds on something, there’s no changing them.
Since they would know that I was serious about you if I mentioned you, I was afraid they’d spill the beans, and you’d find out I love you from them, not me.
Looking at it from this side of things, I’d rather that occur than what did.
“Christ, I can’t believe you thought what you did.
I’m sorry, baby. I never meant to make you think I left you.
That I was playing with your feelings and then ghosting you.
I walked out of eighteen hours of debriefing yesterday evening.
The first thing I did was go home and take a shower.
Then I hurried over to your place. As you can imagine, I got the shock of my life when a couple answered and told me they’d been living there for a month.
I had no idea where you were. I tried calling you, but there was no answer. It said the number was out of service.
“I needed to talk to the property management office, but they weren’t in until nine o’clock this morning.
When that woman told me she couldn’t share any information about you, I almost went off the deep end.
Instead, I went to see Undertaker and got one of their techs looking for you.
Makayla saved my sanity by calling with this address. You know the rest.”
Heath sounded sincere, and what that man on the phone said supported his excuse. But what if it was an elaborate lie? Maybe Heath knew I wouldn’t believe him, so he set up with that guy to tell me he was with the Dark Patriots, that he worked for them, and that Heath had been gone on a mission.
“I can hear your mind whirling, baby. You’re wondering if this was an elaborate fake-out.
It wasn’t, but how can I prove to you that it isn’t, and that I planned to take you to meet my friends, but that goddamn phone call ruined it?
If I could go back, I’d tell them about you.
That one mistake is costing us so badly.
But I swear on my life and my friends' lives that I love you. I want you and our baby. I’m not stopping until I have you both. ”
My eyelids slid closed as I moaned. The way he kneaded my feet was almost orgasmic.
My back arched when my feet were lifted, and warm air blew across them, followed by kisses and nibbles along my arch and then across my toes.
I gasped when Heath’s tongue came out and tongued my toes.
I tried to pull my feet away, but he held on to them.
As I stared at him, Heath began kissing up my inner ankles.
His gaze remained glued to mine. The next thing I knew, he parted my legs and hoisted himself between them. He leaned over me.
“I love you. I need you. I want this baby. I’ll do whatever you ask to prove to you I’m telling the truth.
If you want me to quit working for the Dark Patriots and get a regular job so I never have to leave again, I will.
Just please, for the love of God, don’t shut me out, babe. I don’t think I’ll survive it.”