Chapter 3 #2
His voice was hoarse, and his eyes glazed with tears. My heart pounded. I badly wanted to tell him I forgave him. I ached to feel his mouth on mine. His hands were on my body, but I was too scared to give him a complete out. What if he hurt me again? So instead, I gave him a chance.
“I’m not taking you back and saying everything is forgotten or forgiven,” I informed him.
His face twisted into one filled with pain.
“But I will agree that we can spend some time together. We’ll start over, like it was at first—dates, texts, phone calls, but no sex. If you can’t agree to that, then walk away. I can care for this baby without you.”
He sagged but nodded. “I’ll do it. I’ll prove to you that you can rely on me, no matter what. That I’m the only man for you and our baby. I want to be present for any of your future medical appointments. I already missed out. Speaking of which, how far along are you?”
He glanced down at my stomach. I had on a loose top, so it wasn’t showing my stomach. I flattened the material. My baby bump was hardly noticeable.
“I’m seventeen weeks. And you may come with me, assuming you’re in town when I have one. I won’t rearrange my schedule to accommodate your work trips.”
“I wouldn’t ask you to do that. And no worries, I’ll be here.”
As I gave him a single nod, he surprised me by brushing his lips over mine. I wanted to beg him for more, but I held back. I was guarding my heart until he showed me, one way or another, that he was trustworthy.
God, was I being stupid for opening myself up to anything from him?
What if this was all some game for him? After he’d disappeared, I was terrified.
After a week, it changed to fury. Then, I found out I was pregnant.
I’d cried for a day before I pulled myself together and decided Heath Rugger was in my past. What I had to do was ensure my baby had everything it needed.
That’s when I changed my phone number. He wasn’t coming back, but if he ever tried to contact me again, I had to be sure I wouldn’t cave.
So, when Johann insisted it would be better for both of us to be out of the hustle of town, and it was far safer, even if he wasn’t here, I listened and gave up my apartment. I’d never really liked it much anyway.
I had to admit, I liked it here so much better than being right in town.
The quiet helped me to rest, to think. I worked at the clinic, but made sure to get plenty of rest. With Johann here for the past few weeks, I’ve been able to rest even more.
However, I didn’t plan on opening the door to find Heath Rugger on our doorstep, stirring emotions that weren’t fully settled.
Johann knew almost every detail of my life, and I knew nearly every detail of his.
He was the last “brother” I had left. Even after all these years, we still miss Haris, as if his death happened yesterday.
It had been ten years since the leukemia took him.
He’d been twenty-seven, and I had been twenty-two.
Haris had fought every step of the way, but it was unstoppable.
I’d been a year away from becoming a PA.
I’d spent hours at his bedside when I wasn’t in school.
I’d bring my books and study while he slept.
Or, if he was awake, he liked to quiz me. It was the two of us, plus Johann.
“Danae, what are you thinking about? You’re frowning. Talk to me,” Heath said softly.
He was still hovering over me. His gaze kept moving between my face and stomach. I saw what looked like yearning there. I wasn’t sure what for, though.
“You appear to have something on your mind at this moment, too. What is it?” I countered. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to talk about my brother.
“I want to kiss you so badly. I feel like I’ll die if I don’t. However, I know that I haven’t earned that right back yet. The other desire I have is to feel my child. Can you feel it move?” he asked. I heard eagerness in his voice.
“I’ve felt these funny flutters that the books all say are movement. Moms can feel those anywhere from sixteen to twenty weeks. As for feeling movement from the outside, it occurs between twenty and twenty-four weeks. The baby is around eight inches long and six and a half ounces.”
I wasn’t sure why I'd given him so much information, but when his expression changed to even more enthralled, I knew it was the right move, which was what led me to open my mouth and make another.
“You can feel even though there’s not much to feel. My stomach is a little bigger, so sometimes my pants won’t button. Stretchy material in the waist and stomach area is my friend,” I babbled.
Heath didn’t wait for me to say it again.
Maybe he thought I’d rescind the offer. One hand came down to cup my stomach gently.
He lightly rubbed it back and forth. I fought not to allow my body to respond to his touch, even though it wasn’t sexual.
His gaze remained glued to that barely there baby bump.
When his eyes raised and met mine, they were bright.
“Do you know what it is?” he asked hoarsely.
I’d been very careful not to slip and let anyone know except Johann. Staring at Heath, I broke down. He was the father, whether he stuck around or not.
“I do, and I’ve kept it between Johann and me.”
I saw the disappointment peek out for a second, then vanish. He eased back, reluctantly removing his hand. I felt bereft without his touch. I grabbed his hand and placed it back on my bump.
“Heath, you’re going to be the father of a… daughter. She’s due on October first,” I whispered. I hated the look on his face. As much as I was furious with him, I hated to see him hurt.
He said nothing for several seconds, then he croaked out a response. “We’re having a daughter. Christ, I’m fucked,” he muttered.
“What makes you say that?” I asked.
“Because she’ll fucking look like you, have your brains, and probably get my hardheadedness. She’ll be sneaking out the window and trying to run wild.” He cringed.
I laughed, then I had to say something. “Oh, you think. So if she were a son, then it would be so much better. I know men want sons, but you have to take what you get.”
“I don’t give a damn what this baby is. Either will give us trouble. All I care about is that you and our daughter are safe and healthy. That means this low-blood-sugar shit has to stop. Who fixes your meals?”
“Fixes my meals? No one, I mean, I do that,” I told him.
“You shouldn’t be doing anything that stresses you. Are you still working at the clinic?” he asked.
“Yes, I am. I had today off. Even if I live here, I still contribute to the bills and groceries. We split household chores. Plus, the baby will need a lot of stuff. I don’t want to use up all my savings,” I explained.
“Johann said his leave will be up in a week. What happens when there are all the chores to do, and that includes cooking on top of working?”
“Heath, I’ll manage. I’m capable. The doctor hasn’t said I have to be on bed rest or anything. I fight fatigue, which is normal. And the blood sugars, I’m still getting a handle on what causes the drops. I’m a PA, I know how to doctor myself,” I reminded him.
“I don’t doubt you know how, but you push yourself. You don’t like to ask for help, and you will keep going until the job is done,” Heath added.
Damn it, he knew me so well. I was stopped from replying to it by Johann’s voice. He chuckled before he spoke.
“Damn, he’s got your number, Danni. Everything you said about her is true, Heath.
And I have concerns too when I go back. I have a lot of training coming up, and then we can be called up at any time.
I don’t want her out there mowing, climbing on a ladder, or doing some other crazy shit.
Then what happens when she gets to the end and starts nesting? ” Johann muttered.
“Hey, you two need to stop acting like I’m a clueless child. I won’t do anything that puts her at risk. However, I won’t sit around doing nothing. It’ll drive me crazy,” I protested.
“No one thinks you’re clueless, but you’re driven to help others and to work. I’d worry less if I knew someone was around to take care of you and the little princess,” Johann said.
“No need to worry. I’ll be here. She won’t have to carry everything herself.
I have the next week off. I can do anything she needs.
After I return to work, I’ll talk to Undertaker and the others.
I’ll make it clear that I won’t be taking any assignments out of town,” Heath replied. He stood there, calm.
“There’s no need for you to spend your time off here when Johann is here. And as for telling your bosses you won’t go out of town, that sounds like a good way to get fired. I don’t need anyone endangering their livelihoods.” I gave both guys a narrow-eyed look.
They had the audacity to cast smiles at me as they started talking about taking care of me. I had news for them. I’d do whatever the hell I wanted, regardless of what they want or say. I knew the line I couldn’t cross.
???
How did I let Heath, with Johann’s help, talk me into this?
I swear, it was like they tag-teamed me, and before I knew what I was saying, I agreed to do it.
Ever since, I’d been sweating it and trying subtly to convince them that this needed to wait.
I was nervous about how I would be judged.
Usually, I didn’t care, but pregnancy made my emotions more volatile.
I could be crying one second and then ready to punch someone’s face in the next.
We were to meet Heath there. He told Johann that if I tried to chicken out, to call, and he’d come to Johann’s house to pick me up. I told them that they needed to worry about themselves. And if they thought gangin' up on me was a good idea, they should fuck around and find out.