Heath
Just over forty-eight hours was how long I’d been living in a nightmare of dread. I had to catch myself countless times, about to text or call Danae and beg her to see me, to talk to me. I’d barely slept or eaten. Ben and the others were telling me to do both, but I couldn’t.
The Punishers and Warriors who came to our aid had stuck around in case there was any trouble with more of Zhāng’s people. On that front, we hadn’t had anyone yet, but it might still occur.
Some progress had been made regarding the whole affair.
The estate employees taken to another location had been questioned.
I’d sat in on some of those. It turned out that out of the house staff, the butler and the footmen knew.
The cook and maids had been kept in the dark.
Out of the security guards, they were all guilty.
Most worked for Masters, though a few we discovered had been employed by the Triad and left there to keep an eye on Masters.
The women were released after being thoroughly convinced that speaking of what happened would have them and their families arrested.
We disliked doing that, but it was necessary.
As for those guilty by association, we took turns questioning them.
It took hours, and more than one person was interrogated at the same time.
That meant small teams were formed to do it.
However, when it came to the three big fish: Zhāng, Huston, and Dallia, they remained on ice. When I asked why, I was told that the bosses wanted them to have plenty of time to worry and to watch what happened to those who were part of the ugly business.
We’d learned that in addition to the drugs and guns, they were trafficking women and girls, mainly in and out of the States. It seemed there was a demand for American women abroad, and vice versa here. No matter how many times we ran into this scenario, it made me sick to my stomach.
The men we questioned didn’t have much intel to give us on routes, who was in Masters’ and Zhāng’s pockets, who was accepting bribes, or what the pipeline process looked like. We got bits and pieces but not a clear, whole picture. That would have to come from the top three that we were saving.
I was wound tight and aching to inflict more pain and suffering. It was either that or lose my mind, wondering when Danae would contact me and what she’d say when she did.
“Heath, we need you in the little conference room,” Griff said behind me. We’d returned to headquarters not long ago.
“Sure, be right there,” I said.
He turned and walked off. I tossed the plastic water bottle I’d just emptied into the recycle bin, then went after him. When I walked into the bosses’ smaller conference room, I faltered for a moment, then kept walking after closing the door behind me. I took the nearest empty seat.
Situated around the table were the expected people—Griff, Sean, Undertaker, and Gabe. Even the presence of Ben and Beau didn’t surprise me. The surprise was the presence of Sloan, Gemma, and Kensy. What the hell?
“What’s up?” I asked.
“You are. You can’t keep going without sleep or food, Heath,” Sean stated.
“I’m fine. I’ve gone without both plenty of times, and I have had some,” I automatically defended.
“Not enough to keep you alert and healthy. You think we don’t know that when you go home, you pace. You look like hell,” Gabe added.
“I’ll be fine. Why haven’t we questioned those other three? They’ve waited long enough,” I countered, trying to get them off the subject.
“We’re not doing that until we settle your problem,” Griff said.
“You’ll hold off one interrogation because I’ve missed a little sleep and some food?” I asked, incredulously.
“No, we’ll hold off because you’re running on empty and about to trip over the line due to your woman leaving you and possibly deciding to leave your ass permanently,” Undertaker stated bluntly.
I didn’t mask my flinch fast enough. My hands formed fists in my lap. I hadn’t told them much, other than that Danae was angry with me. Before I could respond, Sloan spoke.
“We’re not saying this to hurt you further, Heath. We want to help. We’re your friends. We care about you and Danae. We know what happened at the Masters’ estate and at your house afterward. She’s staying with Johann,” Sloan said softly, her voice filled with understanding.
I knew I could keep pretending or tell them the truth. And the need to let it out was too much to hold back. It was as if a dam broke.
“She left. She refuses to speak or to see me. She told me that she needs time to think. And if I’m present, she can’t do it.”
When I paused, Undertaker asked, “Think about what?”
“Whether she can be with someone who lied to her. I already have a strike against me from that mission. I told her she could be involved when we questioned her mom, Masters, and Zhāng. I did say that, but I hadn’t thought it through.
She asked what I would do or lie about next—cheating on her?
I would never do that. I don’t want her to see that fucked-up shit.
It’ll be too stressful on her and the baby. Danae refuses to see my point.”
“I can relate. When it came time to take down Vadzim and then later Wynne, Ben wanted me to have nothing to do with it. So did Beau and Keeley. They worried about what it would do to me mentally. Ben was hesitant to let me see what he was capable of. However, I needed it, Heath. It wasn’t a want.
It was a need. If I didn’t see the monsters die, I wouldn’t fully believe they were gone.
And by participating, I took back a part of me they stole.
They had taken my confidence that I could be strong,” Kensy said quietly.
“Kensy, what you went through was horrible. I understand why you needed to do what you did, but it’s not the same for Danae.
She wasn’t harmed like you were. Sure, her mom has been a bitch, but none of them have physically assaulted her.
Danae should let me take care of it as her man.
She should know that I would ensure they are removed as a threat,” I argued.
“And as her man, you should know that your woman wouldn’t ask for something unless she knew she needed it. Danae would never do this and run the risk of it hurting the baby, unless she knew there was no other option for her to feel safe and in control,” Sloan added.
“We’re not gangin’ up on you. I can see you’re thinking that. We’re here to help you reach a compromise with Danae so the two of you can stay together and raise your daughter. The first step to making it happen is being able to see the other person’s point,” Ben told me.
“I’m not doing this to prove a point or to establish I’m the man and she should do what I tell her,” I protested.
“We didn’t say that. But can you be objective for a minute and see it from her standpoint? See how she might think that, and it scares her. She’s a strong, independent woman who won’t ever be happy if she has to bury her personality to be with you,” Sean said.
My head pounded. It was all talking in circles. They seemed to be on her side. “So, you all think I’m wrong, and you’re taking her side,” I muttered darkly.
“That thinking is fucked up. There aren't any sides, just a place where you both get what you need, and our friends aren’t left gutted,” Gabe stated.
“Will you be able to stand to see your daughter on weekends or on holidays and school breaks? Will you be able to watch another man marry Danae and raise your daughter? Watch as another man gets to be called dad, or daddy? What about knowing another man is sleeping with the woman you love?” Undertaker's questions hit me like hammers.
I was trying to respond, but he kept speaking.
“I’m asking you this because it might end up those do come true, if you can’t work with Danae.
I’m a hard bastard. I like things my way.
I take charge and expect others to follow my lead.
It’s only gotten worse since my time undercover.
However, I have an extremely independent woman who has a mind of her own.
If I’m totally dictating the show, we wouldn’t be together.
“We had to sit down and figure out what we could or couldn’t bend on.
And it’s an ongoing process. Sometimes, I follow her lead.
Other times, she sees how much I need it, and she compromises.
That’s what being in a committed relationship is about.
Either you learn that and live with the woman you love and your baby, or you watch them slip away.
And if the latter happens, expect never to find happiness with anyone,” Undertaker stated.
“We’re here if you want to talk, brainstorm, or whatever. I’ve reached out and let Danae know the same,” Sloan told me.
My mind was whirling, my stomach churning, and it was hard to breathe.
I was on the edge of a panic attack. I shoved back my chair, but I couldn’t stand.
My head hung. I heard noises approaching from a distance.
Then I felt a hand on my back. Ben was crouched next to me.
His gaze was steady on mine. I stared back and let his words calm me.