49. But What Lay Beyond These Riverbanks?
But What Lay Beyond These Riverbanks?
I found myself lying awake with this question often.
Gods did not need sleep, but we did sleep for pleasure.
However I tossed and turned, picturing the stories about this dark realm which was now my home.
I had to know more. It was like a hand wrapping around my throat, this curiosity. It would not let me breathe .
One day, the need was so strong I made my plan.
I told no one. Not Styx when she visited.
Not Charon when he came to sit with me by my window.
Not Pallas on his rare trips to my palace with a new carved gift.
I waited until all was quiet before I moved through those heavy doors onto the familiar riverbanks.
Here, I was even more caught in the feeling of emptiness when I saw the endless darkness around the glowing river.
No wonder I felt compelled towards the water: it was the only source of real light around, even if it was coming from the infinite souls occupying its depths.
Was this the only place the dead lived? I had asked Charon, and he had hesitated before saying no.
There was more to this place. But no matter how much I begged, he would not elaborate.
So I went where I had seen his boat go. I walked along the riverbanks to see where the river led.
I was strong now, nourished from regular meals of ambrosia and nectar.
Strength does not mean invincibility , Styx had once warned me when she found me trying to reach for the waters again. As I walked, my heart pounding and a feeling of adventure in my bones, I realized that strength is the capacity for so much more than invincibility.
It fed the need and hunger for more .