Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
The ride home was quieter than Razor liked.
Still, he respected her space and didn’t want to force Lottie to talk about things between her and Sway more than she was willing.
They made small talk about the meal and the jokes, but not much else.
Razor wondered what was on her mind; was it all the flirting?
Was she now nervous being alone with him?
When they walked into her apartment, Razor immediately noticed all the changes she’d made to the place. He liked the vibe. As he followed Lottie into the kitchen, he watched as she pulled down two wine glasses. “Would you like a glass of wine?”
“That’s not what I want.”
“What is it you want, Razor?”
“What if I told you, I want you naked in bed?”
He was moving this along way too fast. A year ago, she’d be stripping as she seductively walked towards her bedroom.
This wasn’t a year ago; it was a different time.
She was different. Something in her head couldn’t shut off and let her be intimate with another person. “I’d say yes. Just not tonight.”
“I see. You can toy with me at dinner. You can come to The Red Door and watch me with another woman. But you won’t be with me.” He saw the surprised look on her face. “Yeah, you aren’t that good at being stealthy, sweetheart.”
Razor stepped closer to her, crowding her. When she moved back, he followed.
Lottie could feel the panic rising. Perspiration gathered above her lip and across her forehead. Even her palms were beginning to sweat. “Please, give me some space.”
“I asked you a question, Lottie. I expect an answer.”
“I’m not one of your subs. I don’t have to give you anything.”
Smirking at hearing her raised voice, Razor liked it when she showed that fire that burned low. He couldn’t wait to get her fired up just to cool her down. “Are you jealous of who I do at The Red Door?”
“I’m not interested in discussing who you “do” at The Red Door.” Lottie wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly feeling exposed. “Especially your current lover.”
“Shannon is not my lover. Current or otherwise. She’s a sub that participates in scenes with not just me but several other Doms at the club. She’s also under contract.” He shouldn’t have to explain himself to her. To anyone. This was why he didn’t date.
Turning away from her, he needed to calm down; to change the subject, he’d already let his control slip.
Something only Lottie could make happen.
He noticed multiple empty wine bottles. Walking over to the kitchen area, he took notice of the dishes in the sink, which appeared to be a wine glass and a coffee cup.
Hadn’t she had a mishap not too long ago with a wine bottle and the bathroom counter?
“How much do you drink?”
It was easier to focus on her shortcomings than his…was it wrong…yes…did he care in that moment? No.
“Why are you gonna lecture me, Dad?”
“I’m not trying to be your dad.”
“Good, because I won’t be calling you daddy.”
“I don’t ask women to call me daddy.” Frustrated with her, he moved from the kitchen towards the door.
“Good night, Lottie.” He didn’t try to kiss her; he didn’t wait to see if she wanted him to leave. Razor left without looking back.
“Try not to get in a fight with the bottle or the counter tonight, Lottie.”
Opening the door, he stepped out and left her standing in the kitchen. He’d kill Vicious for suggesting he should ask Lottie out.
It took him thirty minutes to get across town to his apartment.
He should have gone to the clubhouse. Not wanting to hear the brothers hassle him about Lottie, he chose not to.
Pulling into the garage his phone vibrated in his jacket pocket.
With his mood in the shitter, he ignored it. He wanted a beer and a hot shower.
An hour later, he finally looked at his phone expecting it to be Vicious calling. Instead, it was Lottie. Even being angry at himself, he answered the call.
“Lottie, it’s late.”
“Razor. Don’t interrupt, I wanted to explain.”
“Go ahead.”
“ I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said yes to going out even with you.” Lottie sighed, “You’re right, I’m jealous of you being with other women when I can’t be with you. Before you say something about that being wrong and that you offered me the opportunity to be with you tonight. I’d like to explain.”
She took a breath needing to center herself before she continued. “When I found out what Dawson had done to Sway, something in me broke. I had no idea it had happened until I tried to be intimate with someone. When the poor guy touched me, I came unglued.”
She’d started, now she had to finish. “Please know, I want to be with you. I’m just broken. And I shouldn’t have teased you tonight. It was unfair. When you crowded me in the kitchen, I started to have a panic attack, that’s why I got angry. Anyway, I owed you an apology.”
“Lottie, you don’t owe me anything. Get some sleep. I’ll see you at work.”
“Good night, Razor.”
Hanging up the phone, Razor appreciated Lottie calling, he knew it had to be hard for her to call.
Now, things were muddled; working together would be hard, more so for her than for him.
Opening up his phone contacts, he found Sasha’s number and sent the nurse a text requesting her to switch shifts with Lottie.
When he got a reply saying she was on board with the switch, Razor was relieved.
* * *
Across town laying in her bed, Lottie thought about Razor’s comment a dozen times.
Each time it sounded more and more like a blow off.
She deserved it. Still, it hurt deep down where no one could see.
Rolling over, Lottie pulled the covers over her head and cried at the unfairness of the situation.
She’d go on watching Razor from afar, and he’d go on playing at The Red Door.
Tomorrow she’d start looking for a new job. There was no way she’d be able to remain at the clinic.