Chapter 3
Armias
“Got me bent,” I mumbled to myself as I placed a GPS tracker under Lourdes’ car.
I’d already attempted to bribe her mom for her new address, but she drew the line there for some reason.
“If Lourdes wants you to have her home address she’ll give it to you.
But you can come over to her grandma’s house to have a mature conversation with her.
” That shit blew me, but I wasn’t tripping because I was prepared for that.
I didn’t want to go about it this way, but they were forcing my hand.
Lourdes was trying to ice me out of her pregnancy and I thought her mama was on my side, but clearly she’d been allowing her daughter to be on some weird shit.
She’s getting ready to leave, so you might have to catch her another day. I’ma keep this money to go towards food for the baby shower.
“What the fuck?!” Lourdes shouted with wide eyes like she was seeing a ghost. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“I’m here to talk to you. Come on.”
“Come on?!”
“Yea, let’s go for a ride so we can have a private conversation.”
“Nigga, you then lost your damn mind but I’d be happy to help you find it!”
“How you plan on doing that?” I asked, still smiling.
I don’t know how she expected me to take her seriously.
She was dressed in her signature color and she had a dash of Hello Kitty in there with her platform crocs.
Her natural curly hair was styled in two ponytails with big pink scrunchies and she wore very little makeup.
Her stomach had taken shape, but it was very small.
If I wasn’t familiar with pregnancies I would think there was no way she was over four months along.
But I had vivid memories of Rahesha being pregnant with Aspen and Aneesah.
Her stomach didn’t start getting super big until the six month mark.
Compared to her later pregnancies, she definitely carried them the best. Everybody would go on and on about how perfect her belly was, how long her hair was growing, and they’d say she was “glowing.” Even as a kid I could see what they meant and Lourdes had that same type of energy about her.
She was definitely carrying a baby girl.
“What the fuck is funny?!”
“Man, stop screaming. All that ain’t even called for. You just working yourself up for nothing.”
“For nothing? Boy, your crazy ass is at my Granny’s house and I’ve never brought you here. I should call the fucking police on your stalking ass.”
“You can do that…but we gon’ still have to talk once I bond out. So you might as well kill the dramatic shit and come take a ride with me.”
“Ali, I’m not going no where with you. We can talk right out here,” she glanced back into the house as if she was making sure nobody was coming. Her paranoia was funny, but it was the least of my problems right then.
“What you called me?” I snarled.
“Your name,” she sassed, as she closed the door behind her.
“Alright,” I chuckled dryly.
“Talk. I don’t have all day.” She rolled her eyes while taking a seat at the small patio table that was on the decent sized porch. She sat down a plastic bag of to-go plates and her pink Louis Vuitton purse on the table. It was one of the many gifts I’d gotten her for her birthday.
“Nice bag.”
“You want it back?” She reached for it as if she was about to empty it out and hand it over.
In the beginning I felt stupid for doing the most and breaking so much bread on a woman who had played me.
As time went by and I thought about it more, I realized that I didn’t regret anything.
Everything I’d ever done for Lourdes came from a place of love and care.
I also couldn’t pretend like she was some malicious gold digger who set out to bleed my pockets.
She never asked me for anything and she barely wanted to take my money whenever I offered.
“Nah, ion want shit back because everything I did was real and genuine. I know you can’t relate.”
Her hard exterior melted and she gazed at me with regretful, puppy dog eyes.
My heart pounded in a way it hadn’t pounded since June.
That was a reminder of why I cut her off without looking back.
If I entertained her calls, text messages, or saw her face to face I would’ve been forgiving her with ease and sweeping everything under the rug.
I couldn’t go out sad like that when she violated in the manner that she had.
“I can relate, though, and you know that, Armias.”
“Now I’m Armias?” I chuckled. I was playing it cool but I loved the sound of my real name coming from her mouth. “I’m not finna let you pull the wool over my eyes again.”
“Look, I lied about my living situation but I never lied about how I felt about you. But I have no more energy to convince you otherwise, so believe what you want. It’s not like it matters anyway.”
“Why it don’t matter?” I stepped up on the porch. She set up and went for her purse.
“Man, what is you reaching for? Cause I ain’t finna do your ass nothing.”
“You’re walking towards me though.”
“To sit down….and I’m crazy,” I mumbled before sitting in the other chair. “Now tell me why it doesn't matter.”
“Ask the bitch that was answering your phone and talking crazy to me.”
“Mannn,” I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry about that, Lourdes. I wasn’t okay with that shit.”
“I couldn’t tell by the way you addressed me in her presence. To me that said a lot.”
“Well shit, enlighten me,” I replied sarcastically.
“It means that she’s your woman and that you wanted to take that opportunity to shit on me.
Because when Kenny pulled up to my suite raising hell the only thing I was focused on was explaining myself to you.
But you just let that girl talk to me crazy and then you did the same.
Worst of all it was obvious that you told her all my business,” she crossed her arms and looked straight ahead.
I could tell she was focused on not crying because her eyes were glassy and red.
I didn’t like seeing her like that, but I couldn’t coddle her like she was the victim in this.
“You hear yourself though, Lourdes? What happened first?”
Her head snapped towards me in a millisecond. “You went to prom with that bitch! Your whole family knows her! Nigga, she lives with you! You didn’t share any of that shit with me because she was in jail! We were both lying and I think your lie was worse because I was actually single. You weren’t!”
I sat there silently while she relayed a bunch of untrue shit to me about my life.
“You done or you finished?”
“Fuck you.”
“That’s fine. Anyways, I don’t live with no fucking body.
Naz stayed at my house for about a week when she got out of jail.
She got her own shit asap, so if she told you that over the phone then she lied to get under your skin.
She has a few years on me, but we came up in the St. Thomas together.
We started messing around when I was like 13 and to be completely honest, she took my virginity. ”
“Armias, don’t tell me nothing else.”
“Why not? I’m tryna give you the real.”
“Everything you’re saying aligns with what I already thought.
You’re in a long term relationship regardless if y’all have an official title on it or not.
Neglecting to mention any of this to me and making it seem like I was the first girl you ever took seriously was a lie.
So yea, I wasn’t the only one omitting information. ”
“Man, you didn’t omit information. You straight up lied to my face multiple times.
Naz was something I didn’t mention because she’s never been my girl.
Your ears are hearing something that I’m not saying.
Yea, she broke my virginity but I don’t hold that shit near and dear to my heart.
I was just a lil nigga eager to get his dick wet, but I wasn’t in my heart over that shit.
I was fucking another girl in the projects two days after that.
And I’m not even trying to shit on Naz because that wasn’t special to her either.
She had a whole nigga at the time, so we had an understanding.
She did try to push for more years later once her man caught a fed case, but I wasn’t with it because I didn’t see her like that.
And like I told you when I first met you, I didn’t do relationships because I had too much on my plate.
My mindset only changed when I met you and it happened naturally.
Multiple people in my family have told you that you’re the first woman I brought around on some relationship shit. ”
“Yet you went to prom with Nazaria.”
“I know plenty of people who went to prom with friends. My family knew Naz as my friend who boosted and gave them free shit.”
“Stop calling that girl you friend when y’all have been hunching for over a decade.”
“Alright, we’re friends with benefits.”
“You told me y’all were dating over the phone not even an hour ago.”
“Right, and I’m free to date whoever I want. We not together no more, Lourdes.”
For a second it looked like she was ready to go off but instead she laughed in a way that scared me. It’s like she was saying “bet” without saying it. I was hoping she didn’t take that as a challenge to match my energy or something.
“On some real shit though, Lourdes, I do apologize for how she came at you. I was feeling spiteful, so that’s why I didn’t check her and it’s why I handled you the way I did. And keeping it real, I did vent to Naz about us because I was hurt.”
“That’s an excuse to tell my business and talk down on me to the next bitch, huh?”
“No, and I really wasn’t talking down on you or telling your business. That situation involved and affected me, too. I was really telling my friend my business and the details just weren’t in your favor.”
“Wow,” she chortled. “That’s some good word salad to water down running your mouth.”
“I’m not watering it down. I admitted I was hurt and I vented to people I probably shouldn’t have said shit to.”
“Like your mama?”