Epilogue
Lourdes
“You look sooo pretty, Lo-Lo,” my mom said as I got in the black truck.
“Thanks,” I replied dryly.
“Girl, what is your problem?”
“Nothing…I’m just over the birthday stuff.”
We’d been in Curacao for six days and we still had one more to go.
At the very most I did four day vacations and that was pushing it.
I’d let my mom and Granny convince me to do a full week getaway.
According to them we all deserved a break because Mother’s Day shook our family up.
But that’s the exact reason why I wanted to continue laying low and staying out the way.
I really would have been cool with doing something solo in the city for my 24th birthday like taking myself to dinner or going to a rooftop pool.
My family wasn’t having that at all, so I sucked it up and allowed them to plan my birthday.
I even allowed my mom to pick a theme for each day.
I thought today was pink day, but everybody had on nudes while I was the only one in pink.
I’m sure that was by design and that irritated me.
My birthday had already passed and this was the second to last day of the trip.
I really didn’t need to be the center of attention anymore.
“Don’t act like you haven’t been having fun, Lo-Lo,” Dream said. “You were just in the pool last night crying and saying how happy you are that we planned this trip for you against your wishes.”
“She’s just in her feelings today, but it’ll be okay,” Denim wrapped her arm around me.
“You miss my brother, huh sis?” Aneesah asked empathetically. I was so happy that she and Aspen were able to come on this trip and do everything with us. The legal age for drinking alcohol and clubbing in Curacao was 18, so the girls were outside, for real.
“Uh-oh, don’t cry, Lourdy,” Aspen wrapped her arms around me from behind. “Neese, why would you bring him up?”
“Because it’s obvious that she misses him!”
“I’m not about to cry,” I tried to lie, but my voice cracked.
“I sure hope you’re not. We’ve had enough crying to last us a lifetime,” my mom mumbled.
“Lucia,” Granny gritted.
“What? It’s not like I’m lying.”
“She’s definitely not,” I sniffled. “I’m tired of feeling weak like this.”
“You have every right to be, Lo-Lo Pop. You’ve been through a lot. Don’t let your mama or anyone else dictate your feelings. It’s your birthday and you can cry if you want to.”
“Mama, I’m not disputing that she’s been through a lot. But c’mon…you don’t think her crying over Armias would be a tad bit dramatic? He’s literally on this vacation with us.”
Denim bursted into laughter. “My sis has been away from her man for a whole day. Y’all know they don’t play those games.”
Everybody laughed and I eventually joined in because Armias and I had been extremely co-dependent lately.
It probably wasn’t the healthiest form of coping, but no one could tell us differently.
We were clinging to each other for different reasons.
I was grieving the loss of my cousin and the trauma of witnessing two murders.
Armias was dealing with the “what if’s” of that horrific evening.
After killing Lyss, Kenny had quickly aimed his gun towards the porch.
There was no telling who he was aiming for.
If I had to guess he intended on killing us all.
Thankfully, Armias had his gun on him and he was trained to use it.
He swiftly pulled it out and got to busting before Kenny could start shooting at us.
Armias later admitted that he wasn’t fully focused on what he was doing because he was trying to ensure I was safe.
I remembered him screaming at me to go inside, but my feet wouldn’t move.
Armias had to have been on autopilot though, because all three of his bullets went through Kenny’s chest. He died right there on the scene next to Nalyssa.
Ring camera footage from the neighbors showed that the entire situation was self defense.
The only thing I was worried about was the gun because Armias was a convicted felon and couldn’t have one.
But Granny swooped right in and claimed the gun as her own.
She said she brought it outside because Kenny was beating on Lyss and she feared for her life.
Then she went on to say that Armias grabbed it when Kenny aimed his gun at us because she was hysterical after witnessing her granddaughter’s murder.
That was a plausible explanation given the outcome, and it rolled over with the police because Armias wasn’t charged with anything or even arrested.
If he had been then I would have really been fucked up.
The only thing that would have kept me going was my daughter, but even she would be a constant reminder of her daddy.
Being strong for her and giving her the life she deserved was non-negotiable.
That didn’t mean that I wouldn’t be devastated if I had to do it without Armias.
Having the help of both of our families wasn’t enough to fill the void he’d leave behind if he wasn’t present.
I guess I was hung up on the “what-if’s” of that horrific day, too.
“I just don’t see why we had to spend the whole day apart.”
“Because they wanted to do guy things and we wanted to do girl things,” my mom said.
“I didn’t sign up for that,” I muttered.
“I couldn’t tell…cause you sure were moaning and groaning when you were getting your massage. Seems like you enjoyed yourself to me.”
“I’m weak,” Dream giggled. “She was doing what, Ms. Lucia?” I felt bad because she stayed behind at the villa with Louri.
But she urged my Granny and mom to enjoy the spa while she took care of her Goddaughter.
She’d always been an active Godmommy, but she stepped it up even more after Mother’s Day.
My mom and Granny were occupied with tending to Auntie Luna, who was obviously taking Lyss’ death harder than anyone else.
Lyss and Kenny getting together had the family separated, but their deaths brought us all close again.
Auntie Luna expressed gratitude to me and Armias for trying to help Lyss that day.
She saw the footage, so there was no way she or anybody else could blame anyone other than Kenny for what happened.
There wasn’t a day that went by where I didn’t call Auntie Luna to check on her and vice versa.
She was invited to my birthday trip, but she finally went back to work last week, so she couldn’t take off.
She was here in spirit though. She’d been sending me sweet messages, commenting on every picture I posted, and she sent me birthday gifts through my mom.
It was sad that tragedy had mended our relationship and I often wished for a different outcome where my Auntie didn’t have to lose her only child.
“Moaning and groaning. And I don’t think my son in law would appreciate that.”
“I’ll be sure to tell him that you planned the spa day,” I rolled my eyes. “If it was up to me I would’ve been on ATVs with my man.”
“Well we’re about to see him at dinner, so calm your nerves.”
“It’s alright, best, I miss my man, too,” Dream sighed.
Of course Kai was on the trip as her plus one.
Armias had also invited his best friend, Lucky, but I’m sure Denim influenced him to come, too.
It was so obvious that they were still fooling around, but she made it clear that she was tied down to no one. I loved that for my girl.
I was surprised that Armias hadn’t invited any of his other male cousins that he was close to like Qaylo or Kyree.
But even if he had, I doubt everyone would’ve been able to make it because they had their own lives and schedules to tend to.
Plus, I expressed not wanting to make a big deal of my birthday and that included not having a bunch of guests.
Group trips were a lot to deal with, so we didn’t need the entire Pierre family present.
They would’ve definitely added to the fun, though.
“She’s right here,” Aneesah panned her phone screen to my face. I had drifted off into my own world while everybody else continued to chat, so I didn't hear Neese’s phone ring nor did I see her answer it. But she was sitting right next to me, so I had a clear view of who was on the phone.
“Hey Rahesha,” I waved with a small smile, hoping it appeared genuine.
Rahehsa and I had been cool lately, so I didn’t want her to think that my dry mood had anything to do with her.
She’d also been someone who stepped up during our hard time.
Armias still had his guard up with her, so I was the one she was reaching out to and checking in with.
She wasn’t being overbearing, but she was doing just enough to show her support.
She’d brought three pans of fried chicken to Lyss’ repass.
She sent Auntie Luna, Granny, and my mom flowers and edible arrangements the week after she died.
And she even babysat Alouri three times.
Armias was on the fence about that, but our baby loved that crazy lady.
She’d be all smiles and reaching for her every time she laid eyes on her.
To me, that showed that Rahesha wasn’t a bad person.
She just had a lot of fucked up ways. I could see that she was striving to unlearn them and do better, so she was okay in my book for now.
“Hey, girl! You look pretty! I love those bo-ho braids on you.”
“Thank you,” I smiled. Fendi had got me right with my 30 inch, brown and blonde bo-ho knotless braids. It was a top tier vacation and birthday hairstyle.
“Y’all on the way to dinner, huh?”
“Yea, I guess we are. I didn’t plan anything, so I’m just going with the flow.”
“I heard that,” she smiled. “Where’s my Honey?”
“Back there next to her Auntie,” I grabbed the phone, so I could put the camera on Alouri. She was kicking her feet and smiling, like the happy baby she was.
“Awwww, my baby looks sooo pretty in her pink Dior dress and shoes.”