Chapter 18 #3
There was no arguments or backtalking. When I first found them, they’d been a bit unruly and had smart mouths. Vanessa harped on them about respect and I could already see the difference.
She was great with them and in some ways, it had felt like I was living in some sort of alternate universe this weekend. If I wasn’t careful, I could get used to this, used to them hanging around, too.
We had a peaceful dinner followed by baths. It was becoming a normal routine for all of us. But I knew once the boys went downstairs, Vanessa would leave.
But this time, it was a little different.
She stood in the doorway as I finished up the dishes. I stared at her and she stared back at me. It felt as if she could see right through me. I wasn’t used to feeling vulnerable. It got my hackles up in defense.
But she was there, so close.
I took a step towards her, feeling like a pair of magnets being pulled together. It wasn’t even a conscious movement, but suddenly there she was, standing just inches away.
The intensity of my stare seemed to make her squirm and blush. When she ducked her head, a piece of hair fell into her face.
I couldn’t have that.
Reaching out my hand, I brushed it back behind her ear. That briefest contact sent shockwaves of awareness through me.
My hand froze there, and I gently caressed her cheek, mesmerized by her response as she leaned into my touch.
“Are the boys settled in for the night?” I asked.
Her pupils dilated in response to my deeper than usual voice laced with the barely concealed emotions I was struggling to control.
She nodded, and my body seemed to take that as a green light.
I dipped my head down and kissed her. It was the boldest thing I’d done with a woman since high school. And it wasn’t nearly enough.
I needed more.
That slight brushing of lips set off a firestorm between us that could not be contained a second longer.
My need for her was overwhelming me as I kissed her more boldly. She kissed me back with equal passion.
I hadn’t planned on things escalating beyond that, but once we’d crossed that line, once I tasted her sweet lips, there was no turning back.
Blinded by passion, I picked her up, cradling her in my arms as I carried her to my bedroom. Her lips never left mine. One hand fisted in my hair while the other explored the contours of my chest.
I had always thought that if this day came that I would be nervous and awkward. This was none of that.
As we got to the bedroom, I kicked the door closed behind me. I didn’t want any interruptions and I didn't want to think about the long-term repercussions. I just wanted to live in the moment and feel alive for the first time in a very long time.
Since meeting Vanessa, it was as if she'd awaken a part of me I thought had died.
Gently I laid her down on the bed, then took off my shirt before joining her.
She gave a sexy growl of appreciation and a shiver ran down my spine as she reached out to touch me.
I kissed her again, this time letting my hands explore her body. It was a surreal moment.
There was this undeniable connection between us. It was as if she knew exactly where and how to touch me and judging by the soft mews and sounds of appreciation, I was doing a fine job for her, too.
It took a little fumbling around for me to get her shirt off and her bra unclasped, but I managed. And we were both rewarded as I worshipped her exposed breasts.
I was amazed by how much pleasure it gave me to please her.
But quickly it became clear that my little impatient mate wanted more.
She reached for the button of my jeans and groaned in frustration.
I chuckled. “Let me do it.”
She wasted no time though. As I was trying to remove my pants as fast as possible, she was already shimmying out of hers.
God she was beautiful.
Seeing her lying there completely bare before me took my breath away.
A feral growl ripped through me with an unimaginable desire to claim her as mine.
I positioned myself between her legs.
“Is this what you want?” I demanded. I didn’t mean for my voice to sound so harsh, but it was filled with suppressed need raging through me as I waited for her to respond.
She bit her lip and nodded.
I nearly came right there.
With no further foreplay or checking to see if she was even ready for me, I pushed myself into her and then I froze. She was unbelievably tight. I couldn’t take it for long. I had to move.
The more I moved the slicker we became together. I was concentrating so hard trying to not to let this end before she was ready, that I almost forgot to be present in the moment.
Sweat was beading on my head as I tried to hold back.
She reached up and swiped it away.
Our eyes locked. The air once again sizzled around us as that unmistakable connection locked into place.
In that moment it was just me and Vanessa. Nothing else mattered.
My movements slowed, seeking to match the pace she was setting until we moved as one.
I had always thought of sex as just this physical connection between two people, but that wasn’t what this was at all. It was so much more.
My teeth started to elongate, but I shook it off.
Not now, I warned my wolf.
I couldn’t even bring myself to go anywhere near her neck right now for fear I would claim more than just her body tonight.
While I might not know what I was doing, my body certainly knew what to do to please my mate.
Before long, I could feel her nails biting into my back. Sweat broke out across her upper lip, and her legs locked tightly around my waist pulling me impossibly deeper. As if that wasn’t enough to make me high, her moans were like music to my ears encouraging me to pick up the pace.
My balls were drawn tight, but I was too mesmerized watching her to allow myself release.
“Isaac,” she whimpered.
The sting of her nails grew stronger.
“Isaac!” she cried as she tightened around me and then released with a shudder.
I was panting and couldn’t hold back any longer.
“Vanessa,” I whispered as I gave in and allowed myself to fall with her.
We were hot and sweaty, both of us trying to catch our breaths. I was grateful for that because it meant no talking. I was so overwhelmed by the magnitude of what had just happened, that I didn’t know what to say or how to react.
Realizing I was probably squishing her, I rolled to my side, but continued to hold her.
Her eyelids were heavy. I thought she might even fall asleep again. I knew my own body was exhausted and refreshed at the same time.
The realization of just how much I needed her terrified me. I didn’t want to need anyone, couldn’t have others counting on me. The boys were only temporary, but it was clear now that this thing with Vanessa was potent with a forever kind of potential.
“You should probably go,” I blurted out.
It was a knee jerk reaction, but I couldn’t take it back now.
Much to my horror, she didn’t even seem to notice.
“Yeah, I know. Morning comes much too quickly.”
“Right,” I said, knowing that wasn’t what I meant at all.
I needed her to go, leave, preferably never come back, because I was already in too deep. If she stuck around or even kept coming around, I wasn’t sure I could continue pushing her away.
“Do you want to come join me for lunch tomorrow?”
“In town?”
“Yeah.”
“No. We’ve been over this before. No one can know about me. No one can know about this.”
“You’re serious about that?”
“Did you really think I was joking?”
“Isaac, this is ridiculous. You do exist. That really just happened. It was not a figment of my imagination.”
She poked me hard in the chest.
“Ow.”
“See, that’s real, Isaac. This thing between us, it’s real. Unless you’re in some sort of witness protection program or something, then none of this makes sense.”
It would have been easy to lie and say that was it, but I couldn’t do that to her.
“This isn’t negotiable, Vanessa. And if word starts spreading around the Pack about me, I will be forced to leave and setup elsewhere.”
The look on my face must have told her how serious I was.
She shook her head.
“Ridiculous.”
With a huff she pushed away from me and started gathering her clothes and dressing.
I immediately felt her absence.
She was already pulling away from me.
Good. That’s what I wanted. Wasn’t it?
“You’re really going to do this?”
“What? Live my life off grid? Yes. I’ve been very clear about this.”
“So you’d rather be a ghost than actually be in my life.”
“I’m right here, Vanessa. I’m fine with being in your life. I’m not even fighting it. But that’s your life I’m willing to compromise on, not your friends, or the Pack, or the world.”
Just saying the words and being able to compromise like this was impressive as hell to me and still a bit terrifying. But I meant every word. I would make room to let her in. But her and only her.
“Well, I happen to live in the real world. If you can’t handle that, then I don’t see how we could ever have a future together.”
The pain of her words sliced through me from head to toe.
“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course, we can.”
I was grasping at straws here, terrified she was going to actually walk away from us.
“How? How is that supposed to work? What if we had kids?”
“We won’t.”
“You didn’t exactly pull out,” she reminded me.
Her words felt like a slap across my face.
“That’s what I thought,” she continued when I didn’t respond.
My face must have told her everything she needed to know.
Kids?
Shit. I hadn’t even considered that. How could I be that stupid? I mean, it wasn’t something I had planned, but I should have been ready. I should have had a condom or something.
I was trying not to freak out as she just kept talking and laying it all out there.
“Are our children supposed to pretend like you don’t exist? That’s what you asked of the boys, right? But what if they want a friend over? Do you just hide in the bedroom while they’re here? Do we cover up all the pictures around the house with you in them if a friend of mine happened to swing by?
“There are no pictures of me,” I told her.
“But if we were together there would be, because I like pictures, especially of those I love.”
She’d just thrown out the L-word. My head was spinning and I thought I might be sick. I knew she hadn’t said she loved me, but it was close enough to send me spiraling down a dark tunnel.
“I told you it would be best if you just stayed away. Why couldn’t you just stay away?”
“You’re a jackass. A selfish jackass at that.”
“Maybe I am, but there are certain things I will not compromise on. If you can’t handle that, then get out.”
“With pleasure!”
I watched in horror as she turned and stomped out, slamming every door she encountered along the way.
As she sped out of the driveway, I sat down on the couch in shock.
What the hell had just happened?
I was still naked and smelling of sex. Her scent still lingered in the air around me and I knew it would be even more potent when I returned to bed.
I growled and then roared in frustration as I stomped back to my room, grabbed fresh pajamas, and went to sleep in the guest room where hopefully her scent and memories wouldn’t haunt me all night long.