Chapter 64
I’m fucking hungover, and my boyfriend does drugs.
I’ve made no progress from Sorin. The thought makes me cry harder before I feel like I’m going to puke.
I hate that I didn’t get any vibes from G about drugs.
How did my intuition fail me? I look like a fucking mess in last night’s outfit and my tear-stained face. I am a mess.
Gideon enters the room with a plate filled with fruit, eggs, toast, and a big coffee.
“Baby,” he says with so much emotion. He isn’t Sorin. I really fucking want with all of my being for him not to be Sorin. I’m going to have my guard up now. This was a big strike for him.
“Tell me about your dad,” Gideon says, sitting next to me.
“Pass.”
“Dani … let me in, baby,” he begs.
I want him to be my boyfriend. If I didn’t, I would just leave. My life with Gideon … It’s the happiest I’ve ever been.
“I’m so fucking scared,” I say, crying again.
“Why?”
“I don’t want you to be like them.”
“Baby.” He lets out a sigh, pulling me in close.
“I used to do coke …” He gently runs his hand down my head, trying to calm me down. “My ex, Sorin …” God. I don’t want to talk about this, but we need to talk about this. “Sorin … he’s Declan’s half-brother.”
“Ah.”
“You’re going to understand why Declan and I have so much weirdness …
It’s a fucked-up story. I need coffee,” I say, pulling out of Gideon’s embrace.
Taking a big sip, I consider if I’m going to puke or not.
The feeling passes after a few seconds, and I begin.
“When I was twenty, I met Sorin and started doing coke. My dad and everyone were so scared for me and told me to go to rehab, but I didn’t.
I stayed with Sorin. And … he abused me. ”
G holds me a little tighter. “Tell me everything.”
“The thing that got me to leave … it’s …” I inhale sharply. Talking about it always makes me think how stupid I was then. “He literally cut the shape of an S into my hip after?—”
“The fuck,” Gideon growls and pulls back the covers. “Where’s the scar?”
“I was able to get rid of it—lots of laser appointments. Anyways, I got the scar because Sorin saw a picture of me and Declan talking. Well, Declan was flirting with me, and the photo made it look a lot worse than it was. His hand was on my thigh.”
“Declan still likes you,” he notes.
“So what if he does,” I say sharply. Gideon smiles. “You’re on my shit list still.”
“I didn’t know any of this … You never mentioned anything about any of this before.”
“Well, now you know. I have no interest in drugs, and I will fucking dump you so fast if you ever do them again.”
“I understand. I won’t,” he says, holding my face in his hand. I want to believe him so fucking bad. “Tell me about your dad,” he says, rubbing his thumb on my cheek.
“It was a mess when I was growing up.”
He hugs me. The minutes pass, and I can’t think about anything other than the fact that I might puke.
“That’s all you’re going to say?” he asks after a silent minute. “I want to know you, Dani.”
“When I’m not on the verge of puking, I’ll get into that with you.”
“Okay.” He kisses my temple, then asks, “Is Declan close with Sorin?”
“No. They hate each other.”
“Good. I’d kill that guy if I met him.”
“He’s doing a pretty good job of that on his own.”
“I’m so sorry.” He squeezes me. “I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through all of that.”
We cuddle, silently connected, until I fall asleep.
When I wake, he’s typing on his laptop beside me, a glass of water and some aspirin waiting on the nightstand.
Stressed, I consider how I haven’t looked at my email all day. I tap my phone. It’s 11:08 a.m. A moment of relief comes in. I’m so happy I have the freelancers, but I’m also not ready to check in on work. “What are you working on?” I ask G.
“Making final tweaks to my speech for the board meeting this afternoon.”
Guilt washes through me. Today is such a big day for him.
I wish I didn’t trauma dump on him. But how could I react any differently to him telling me he does drugs?
I don’t need to feel guilty, but I do. This board meeting is so important.
If I weren’t hungover, he would already be at the office. But he’s here, making sure I’m okay.
“Read it to me. Let me help you,” I say, cuddling close to him so I can see his screen.
“Baby, you’re on your deathbed.”
“This is important. I want to help.”
“After you finish that water and eat something. You need to eat.”
I pick up the water, taking small sips. “Gideon,” I say, getting his attention. “I’m very serious about this … If you do drugs again, we’re done.”