Chapter 63
“Are you hungover?” I ask Dani, returning from my workout, sweaty and shirtless. But she barely acknowledges me.
She nods. “I forgot to have dinner.”
“Dani! Why didn’t you tell me you were hungry?” She shrugs. “Let me make you coffee and breakfast. Go take a cold shower.”
Slowly, she slides out of bed, looking a little sheepish. Dani needs to take better care of herself. “Baby. Don’t skip meals. It’s not good for you.”
“I know, I know,” she mumbles as she heads for the bathroom, “but my head is killing me.”
“You look terrible. Do you want something?”
“Like Ibuprofen?” she asks, stopping in the doorframe of the bathroom.
“Or something stronger.” The best cure for a hangover is an upper. We’ve never talked about partying, but I get the sense she does sometimes.
Her expression shifts, and she freezes in the doorway, looking back with a new, sharper intensity. “What?” she asks, her voice strangely serious.
“Like Adderall. Or a bump?” I say, trying to keep it light, but her face tells me I’ve hit a nerve.
Her expression darkens. “You have that … here?” she whispers, her voice laced with something more than shock. I watch, bewildered, as tears start to well in her eyes.
“Dani … what’s going on?” I step toward her, wanting to pull her in, but she pushes me away, her tears spilling over.
“Please,” she says, breath hitching. “Please, tell me you haven’t taken anything today.”
“No, I haven’t. I swear. Why are you crying?”
“Have you ever been with me on either?”
“Maybe. I?—”
“Maybe! I can’t. I can’t be here.” She walks past me, starting to dress frantically.
“What’s going on?”
“Gideon …” she sobs. “What the fuck? You do drugs!”
“Barely.”
“When was the last time?”
I consider lying. The hesitation is already damning enough. “Saturday.”
“Fuck. I was with you all day. I have to go.”
I stand in front of her, blocking her way. “Why are you freaking out right now?”
“Let me through.”
“Tell me why you’re freaking out.”
“Move.”
“Baby. Please let me in. Tell me why you are reacting so strongly to this.”
“My dad …” She wipes the tears from her face, and I turn to the side so she can get through.
We’ve barely talked about her parents. Is this why? Fuck. “What about your dad?” She’s putting on her shoes, and her face is pale. “Dani, please fucking talk to me.”
“He’s a recovering addict.”
Fuck. “I’ll flush everything right now.”
“Don’t placate me.” She rolls her eyes, ready to leave.
“Watch. I’ll do it right now.”
“Watching,” she snaps, challenging me.
“Come on,” I say, leading her back into my suite. I open the safe in the closet, take out the baggies and pill bottle, and walk over to the toilet. “I don’t need these. I’ll never touch them again if that’s what it takes to keep you.”
She crosses her arms, watching. “Flush it all,” she says, her voice steady but hard.
I dump everything into the toilet, flushing it away. “It’s gone,” I say, looking into her eyes. “You’re the only thing I want in my life, Dani. And I’m serious about giving this up.”
She lets out a long, shaky breath and finally hugs me a bit stiffly. I pull her closer, holding her tight.
“Why Saturday?” she asks, tense.
“I needed to focus on spreadsheets for hours. The help is nice, but I can do it without the help.”
“The Adderall. Like, you’re prescribed it?”
“Yes, so I can buy it from a pharmacy versus some random guy,” I share. “I don’t have ADHD though.”
“This is a non-negotiable for me. I can’t be with someone that does drugs.”
“My only vices from now on are you, the gym, and maybe a whiskey after work.”
“I really fucking hope you’re serious.”
I hug her tight, and she doesn’t hug back at first. “Baby, get back in bed.” I breathe into her hair. “You look like you’re going to pass out.”
“Fine,” she mumbles, still guarded. “Now, can you get me some coffee?”
“Already on it.” I kiss her forehead before heading to the kitchen to fix breakfast.