Chapter 70
The sound of my ringtone wakes me. I squint at the cracked screen, Declan Kruk’s name flashing. It’s not even five in the morning. I think about ignoring it. My heart races, wondering why he’s calling. Why would he be calling me at this hour?
“What?” I mumble, still groggy.
“I wanted you to hear it from me first.” His tone is unlike anything I’ve ever heard. He’s tired. It’s raw. “Sorin overdosed last night … He’s dead.”
Dead? I sharply inhale, replaying his words.
“Oh,” I say. Of course! What did I fucking do, universe?
Please fucking tell me what I did to deserve this week.
“You okay?” I ask, nearly whispering, processing this sentence and wondering if Declan has no one else to call.
I wouldn’t expect to be one of the first people to hear this news.
At least there will never be Sorin drama again.
“He was still dealing,” he says, annoyed. “Our family got out of the drug business years ago. Why was he still dealing?” The rhetorical question hangs. “There was fentanyl in the coke.”
I don’t know what to say or how to respond.
“I feel so guilty,” he says after a moment. “You never would have felt trapped in his house if it were not for me.”
“Declan, get some sleep,” I encourage. “Have you slept at all tonight?”
“Dani. Let me talk,” he says. “Because I had the car chased. Because I went to the bar that night.”
“Stop. We’re not talking about this right now.”
“Yes, we are!” He’s crying, and it makes me sob. “Because I touched you at Kent’s.” The sadness in his voice is so intense. “He hurt you because of me. It’s all my fault.”
“That’s not true,” I say almost inaudibly.
“You have a boyfriend. I need to respect that.”
Hearing Declan talk while crying is overwhelming. I’m stunned by his words, by his emotion.
“I heard about Adam,” he says, then sniffles. “Why you guys broke up … I need to stay away from you. I have not been respecting you. I’m the worst thing that’s ever happened to you.”
I can’t respond. It’s not because I agree, it’s because I’m fucking blubbering, and so is he. We’re both crying, sniffling, and breathing heavily. I’m processing the fact that Sorin is dead, and Declan feels compelled to hash out everything right now.
“It’s not your fault,” I manage in a whisper. “What happened with Sorin … It’s my fault.” He breathes deeply, disagreeing with me. “I never should have gone on a second date with him. I … I knew he was bad.”
“I still feel responsible,” he says. Hearing those words ramps my tears back into high gear. Knowing how much of myself I sacrificed during my summer with Sorin. How I didn’t listen to my intuition. How I got myself in bad scenario after bad scenario with him.
“You are not the worst thing to ever happen to me,” I say, wiping the tears from my face. “The money …” I start, trying to get myself together so I can speak in more than just a couple of words at a time.
“It was the least I could do for everything,” he says so soft and vulnerable.
“You’re the only person to ever give me money with no strings.” As I say it, it really sinks in.
“It was your birthday present,” he says, confirming what I had long known to be true but didn’t want to accept.
“The best birthday present,” I say with a little smile, thinking back to being in Italy and getting the gift. “It changed my life.”
“I’m so proud of you,” he says, and I feel the emotion through the phone. “I knew you would do big things.”
That triggers a memory of the note that accompanied the hard drive of Bitcoin, saying, “I look forward to watching your fight and your light accomplish big things.”
“You’re weird,” I manage in a light joke, recovering from this cry. “Who talks like that?”
This is the most emotional phone call I’ve ever had. It’s too fucking sappy. I shake my head, trying to stop the tears.
“I’d probably be working at some marketing agency hating my life if I never met you.”
“You would have figured something out,” he softly says.
“It gave me choices. It allowed me to breathe. It’s the best thing to ever happen to me.”
The silence hangs until he says, “Come to the funeral with me.”
“I’m not going to the funeral.”
“Dani,” he says my name, and I didn’t know a two-syllable word could say so much. “Please,” he begs.
“Okay …”
“When I have details, I’ll let you know.” And the call ends.
I roll on my back and stare at the ceiling.
My mind is blank. I shouldn’t feel so relieved that Sorin is dead, but I do.
Declan is not the worst thing to ever happen to me.
Sorin … what would my life even look like if I’d never met him?
There would be no Declan, no Adam, no Gideon, and so many other people.