Chapter 117
As I put on mascara in Gideon’s bathroom, he sets a glass of wine in front of me.
“Cheers, fiancée,” he says, giving me that sexy, half-smile of his.
“G, I don’t want this.”
“One glass. We’re celebrating,” he says casually.
“We shouldn’t be those people.”
“People celebrating?” he asks, and I don’t know if he’s trying to be coy or not.
“We’re going to a sober party,” I remind him.
“It’s one glass. This is an expensive bottle.”
“You should have asked me. I don’t want it.” He’s never done this since we’ve been more intentional about alcohol. He knows I haven’t had alcohol in a long time.
“Why don’t we FaceTime your parents?” he asks. “We can tell them now.”
“We haven’t talked about our answers.”
“Why are you deflecting?”
“I’m not deflecting. We just got engaged yesterday and haven’t talked about it much.”
“Like?” he asks, annoyed.
“When is the wedding? When are you having kids? And all the other inappropriate questions people ask when you tell them you’re engaged.”
“No date yet and no kids,” he firmly says.
“We need, like, strong answers,” I say, a bit annoyed.
“Those are strong answers.”
“So, we say no kids. They ask, ‘Why?’ What do we say?”
“Because we don’t want them. Our life is full. I already have a baby.” G kisses my cheek, staring at me through the mirror.
“Let’s focus on dinner, and tomorrow we’ll make the calls,” I encourage.
“You’re going to waste this wine?” he asks, annoyed.
“Yes.”
Gideon takes a big sip from his glass and walks out of the bathroom, leaving the glass in front of me. I dump it down the sink, eliminating the temptation.
Fuck him right now.
At Declan’s, Lauren greets us at the door, which throws me off balance. She’s wearing a tacky Gucci sweater and smiles brightly as she takes the charcuterie board from my hands.
“Dani, love this sweater,” she says warmly, tugging at the hem of mine. Looking at her loud sweater, I don’t think the same. “Nice to see you, Gideon,” she adds with a polite nod. We exchange some quick small talk, then make our way inside.
A handful of other couples are also here, and we all sit in Declan’s large living room, chitchatting. Gideon quickly launches into a conversation with a guy who is in the early days of starting a tech company in the commercial real estate industry. I smile, hearing G provide great mentorship.
Who knows what Gideon will do with his life after going part-time as chairman of Real-ity. I could see him starting a little angel investment fund or getting more involved in early-stage startups. He would have fun with them.
“Dani,” Declan says, getting my attention. “I haven’t heard about your business in a while. How’s it going?”
He hasn’t cut his hair since the funeral. It looks just like how it was when we first met. It almost hits his shoulders. If only my hair grew that fast.
“I’m actually going to be dissolving my LLC at the end of the year and relaunching something new in February.”
“We’re excited about it,” Gideon adds, squeezing my thigh.
“Give me a hint,” Declan presses, and Lauren loops her arm around his.
“I’ll be using my words.” I giggle.
Declan makes an exaggerated thinking face. “How is sober-curious life treating you?” he asks after we hold a long stare.
“Better than I anticipated,” I say, looking between Declan and Lauren. “Don’t tell anyone,” I whisper, then bite my lip. Fuck. Why did I just do that? “Lauren,” I start, getting the attention off of me, “Declan said something about you introducing him to AcroYoga. How did you even get into that?”
She tells me, but I don’t listen. I watch their body language. I watch how they are together. They’re cute, really cute. She likes him a lot more than he likes her. Or at least that’s the vibe I’m picking up. I bet she thinks he is the one.
Declan is a fucking catch, as long as you’re cool with the fact that he’s a reformed criminal and a recovering addict. The cynic in me. It’s screaming. She likes the money more than him.
They go into the kitchen and return with a festive mocktail.
“It is high in antioxidants …” She rambles on about the health benefits of each ingredient. Then Lauren leans into him, kissing him. I watch his thumb slowly slide along her jaw.
I’m jealous. I’m fucking jealous. I begrudgingly sip this mocktail, trying to lower my heart rate.
“Baby,” G whispers in my ear. “You good?”
No! I am not fucking okay. Why does this bother me so much? I’m fucking engaged to Gideon. He is great. I love my life with him.
I can’t fake sickness again. That would be too revealing, too obvious. I’m going to have to grin and bear it. Take this fucking punishment.
“It’s weird to see Declan being affectionate. It makes me want to barf,” I say—neither of those things are lies.
“Seeing someone—like a sibling—being affectionate is weird,” Gideon adds.
I do not think of Declan like a sibling. I think of him as the most off-limits, never going to happen person alive. Fuck, this is torture.
I survive dinner by focusing my attention on G, whispering nothing but filth in his ear, making him squirm. I love him. He is going to be my husband, for fuck’s sake.
“Want me to help you clean up?” I ask Declan as dinner comes to a natural end. He nods, and we carry arms full of plates into the kitchen.
“You know, you can hire help,” I tease, but I respect the fact that he doesn’t have people.
“I have a nice Polish cleaning lady, otherwise, I don’t want strangers knowing too much about me.”
I start rinsing some of the appetizer trays before setting them into the dishwasher. “Lauren seems nice,” I say into the silence.
“You hate her,” Declan says with a light laugh.
I part my lips, feigning shock. “Why do you say that?”
“Because I know your face.”
I shrug, holding back a smile. “So, you two have been together since Labor Day?”
“Yeah. It’s casual.”
What a concept. I’ve never understood that concept. “You’re thinking about buying her a Christmas present already. That doesn’t seem casual.”
“I can’t have a girlfriend right now,” he says through gritted teeth.
“But she seems like she’s really into you.” The sass is unmistakable in my tone.
“I think she’s really into the idea of being with a rich guy.”
“You said it.” I raise my eyebrows, smugly looking at him.
Then, he bites his lip before saying, “It’s not fun, is it?” His tone. It’s flirty!
“What?” I ask with an edge.
“Seeing me with someone.”
I scoff, rolling my eyes. My heart races. “We’re friends.”
“In another life, we’re friends,” he whispers. “You want this life now,” he says, closing the distance between us. “My life.” I let go of the tray, drying my hands on my jeans. We’re face-to-face … well, he’s towering over me. “We’re in trouble.”
“Why?” I breathe as my heart nearly beats out of my chest.
His eyes rake my body. “Ninety days.”
It’s ninety-two.
“How do you know?”
“Because I fucking know you.”
This gigantic-ass man who I’ve always found so attractive is making a move. We are in trouble! All sorts of good, bad, sexy trouble. I have to know.
“What would happen if I kissed you right now?” I ask, repeating a statement he said to me the first night we met.
“You are infuriating.” Our height difference is significant at this moment.
“Fucking kiss me.” I look up at him, needing to know before I commit myself to Gideon for the rest of my life.
“If you want this life … if you want my life,” he growls. “Then kiss me.”
I barely think before pulling him down, and our lips crash together.
We kiss wild and hungry, like there is something to prove.
He wraps his arms around me, lifting me onto the counter.
My mind races with emotions as we continue making out in his kitchen.
We’re kissing as if there isn’t a room full of people on the other side of the wall.
“I hate you,” I whisper between kisses. His hands are in my hair, and my arms cling around his neck.
“I hate you too,” he murmurs back, and we’re kissing with six years of pent-up sexual frustration.
“Dani!” Gideon’s voice slices through the haze, and I pull back.
With a shattered expression, he looks at the two of us, frozen in disbelief. “Is this why you didn’t wear your ring tonight?”
“Ring?” Declan grumbles, and I hear the anger in it.
I slide down from the counter, ignoring them both, not ready to handle my conflicting feelings about what just happened. I need to leave this house.
“Dani!” Gideon blocks the door.
“Move,” I barely make out, tears pricking at my eyes.
“No!” he says, deep and serious.
“Move!” Declan snaps at him. Gideon nearly walks through me straight over to Declan.
“Don’t!” I yell, instinctively knowing what’s going to happen. It plays out almost in slow motion. Gideon punches him in the face, and Declan barely reacts to the impact. I don’t even know if he blinked. He definitely didn’t flinch. Then Gideon swings again and they are brawling in the kitchen.
“Fuck this!” I breathe, overwhelmed. I throw on my shoes and leave the house, walking down the street. I have no destination in mind, but I can’t be here.
I just cheated on my fiancé. What is wrong with me?
Then worse thoughts creep in. Do I do this to them? Do I make them this way? Tears are flowing down my face as I think about them fighting. How could G have a calm reaction to that? I am the fucking problem. The statement incessantly repeats in my head as I walk.