Chapter 14
Tegan
As my eyes slide open, my body immediately tenses. A warm arm bands around my middle, and I’m thrown back into the memories of waking up in bed with my mother’s “friends.” I only release a breath when I remember it’s Ace.
But it still feels weird.
I ease out from under his arm, peel away the scratchy covers, and sneak off to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror. I kind of like my new look—clean and so normal that I’m unforgettable. I like the way my hazel eyes shine because I’m not in an eternal state of fear and anxiety.
I take a breath and lean back as memories return in a flood of emotions.
Meeting Tye. Delia’s bullying pushing me back into my compulsion.
Ace telling me a secret. And, oh god, us coming together.
What was I thinking? That I didn’t want to disappoint someone who looks at me like Ace does?
That I’d have let him sleep with me if it made him happy?
And I hate that for me. I’m glad he didn’t try to go further. I want to go further, but I’m not sure I’m there yet. He’s so fucking patient with me, and I don’t know why I deserve that.
I touch the bruise on my forehead and wince. I knew it would bruise the moment I felt it last night. At least I look the part for the next set of sales, I guess.
I grab the toothpaste off the counter and use my finger to brush my teeth. When I return to the main room, Ace is up and searching through his bag.
“We overslept. Shit,” he says without looking at me. “Order turn-in is eight a.m. on the dot.”
“I’ll go get my stuff.”
“Already grabbed it. But there’s no time. Just grab the orders and come with me.” He steps closer and brushes his hands through my hair—to make me more presentable, I guess.
I step into my shoes and follow him. Ace dries his palms on his jeans before knocking on the last door on the left. Stacks open the door, and judging by the look on his face, he’s not happy. He gestures for us to come inside with his chin, so we do.
“Hey, sorry. I overslept. Here are my orders from yesterday.” Ace lays out a stack of orders and then takes mine from my hands. “And here are hers.”
“She got these sales?” Stacks asks, surprised as fuck. It’s annoying. I mean, he’s right to question it, but still. I’m right here.
“Yeah, she’s a natural,” Ace lies. I jab a fist into his side, but he doesn’t waver. “She did great.”
Stacks strides over and lifts my chin with his hand. He reminds me of every one of my mother’s friends. Sleazy doesn’t even begin to cover it. I want to pull my face from him, but he’s my boss now.
“What happened to her head?” He’s looking at me but asking Ace.
“She fell.”
“It looks good for sales, actually.”
It takes everything in me not to roll my eyes, despite thinking the same thing.
“Can I ask you something, Stacks?” Ace asks, pulling the man from me.
“What’s up?”
“Mind if the girl stays in my room for now? The girls aren’t being very welcoming.”
Stacks laughs. “Absolutely not. I don’t need you having a distraction like that. You know sex isn’t allowed within the crew.”
“It’s not like that. I have no intention of sleeping with her. She’s much too young for me. I just think she’d do better without the girls being bitchy to her.”
Ouch. Again, I’m literally right fucking here.
Ace has a bit of a hold over his boss. I guess that’s what happens when you’re the best-seller in the group. Keep the best happy, right?
Stacks grabs his chin and looks me over. “If I find out you two have done any fucking around, you’ll both end up on the side of the road, got it?”
Alec nods, and we turn to leave.
“Oh, and Ace?” Stacks says behind us. “Sell better next time. This isn’t living up to the level I expect of you.”
Alec’s body tenses beside me, and he nods before he walks me out the door.
We walk down the hall, back toward the motel room. “You shouldn’t have given me your orders,” I whisper as we slip inside his room.
“It’s fine. Stacks got his fucking orders.”
“You’re mad . . .”
Ace takes a deep breath before he spins me and backs me into the wall. His body presses against mine as he lifts my chin with his finger. “I’m not mad. I’m disappointed in myself. Because I asked for my ultimate temptation to sleep in my bed.”
I swallow. “I thought you guys could fuck around and do what you want.”
“Sex isn’t allowed. Do we do it? Absolutely. There are ways around Stacks. But doing what I want could get me truly booted from the crew. You too.”
“You want to fuck me?” I ask, my eyes slowly rolling up to meet his.
“I’m addicted to cigarettes. Viscerally. I’m already sweating for one. But you? I want you more than I want a cigarette.”
His words send a chill through my entire body, and I’m not sure if he catches it. He grabs my hand and puts it on the front of his jeans. I feel his erection through his pants, and it sucks the air from my lungs.
“But all I can have is that cigarette right now,” he says with a smirk that nearly turns me into a puddle.
He reaches over and grabs the box of cigarettes off the table and draws one from the pack.
He puts it between his lips and it dangles there as he pulls out his lighter and lights it.
His eyes never leave mine as the cherry burns in front of me.
He breathes in, and the smoke rushes around the white stick between his lips.
Normally, I’d hate the smoke in my face, but right now, I’m bathing in the scent that is part of his natural cologne. He pulls the cigarette from his lips and holds it beside him.
And he leans down and kisses me. Hard. The smoky flavor travels from his tongue to mine.
“Do you need help showering, pup?” he asks, groaning against my mouth.
I really think I could stomach a shower at this point. I managed when I got desperate enough before, and he made the act less scary that time, and I wouldn’t mind him coming with me again. At least once more.
“Is that a good idea?” I ask.
“Absolutely not.”
He puts the cigarette between his lips and drags me toward the shower, and like the first time in the hotel bathroom, my heart starts to flutter at the thought of what’s to come. It’s beating through my chest.
He moves the curtain back and turns the handle to start the water flowing from the ancient tap. His eyes are back on me as he unzips his jeans.
“Don’t worry, pup. I’m not going to fuck you. I’m going to try my damndest to obey Stacks.”
He puffs on his cigarette as he lowers his jeans and his boxers. My eyes widen as his cock stands for me. My eyes drop instinctively.
“Look at it, Tegan,” he whispers.
I lift my eyes again.
“Good girl.”
Those two words don’t do very good things to me. I suck in a quick breath. Good girl always preceded something fucking awful. And just like that, I ruin everything as my breathing ratchets to a panicked pace.
Alec steps into me and grabs my face in his hands. “Hey,” he says as he forces my eyes onto him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed. There’s just something about you, Tegan.”
He’s probably lying, but regardless, I want to live in this lie for a little longer.
He brushes the hair from my face and puts the cigarette out on the granite countertop before kissing me.
I focus on my breathing, every inhale and exhale, until it’s calmed.
With my eyes slammed shut, I pull down my pants and leave on my underwear.
I go to lift my shirt, but insecurity roars inside me because of my weight, so I release the hem.
Instead, I reach for his shirt, and he takes it off.
He doesn’t question me being clothed again as he guides me into the shower.
I take a deep breath as the warm water rains down on me.
I force out all those nagging memories and try to put myself in the moment.
With Alec, who’s beautifully naked, and every inch of me that his hands touch before he puts shampoo on them.
His hands get lost in my dark locks as he washes my hair again.
I close my eyes as his fingers massage my scalp.
He steps forward, and his cock presses against my ass.
My thin, wet underwear does little to keep the sensation at bay.
Warmth radiates from him, and I miss it as he turns me and rinses the soap from my hair.
With the lather still in his hands, he brushes it through his hair and washes his own.
Then we switch spots so he can rinse. Next, he puts body wash in his palm and I watch as he washes himself and stares a little too long as he strokes himself with a soap covered hand. My throat clicks as I swallow.
He pulls the shower curtain open and leans close to me. “I’m going to let you finish up on your own before I do something I’ll regret. Something tells me I wouldn’t be the same man pulling out of you as I was before I got inside.”
With that, he leaves me to think about what he means. Instead of feeling assured, I’m nervous. It feels like we’re playing a very dangerous game.