2. Rand
RAND
My entire body strains with the need to go after Karolina. I can’t let her leave. She’s not safe without me to watch over her.
I look at my dead enemy and grimace.
The immediate threat has been handled.
Far more terrifying is the prospect that she’ll never talk to me again.
I flinch when I hear my front door slam.
She’s gone.
But not forever.
This won’t be the end of us.
We’ll never be over.
She’s mine.
I’ll figure out a way to win her back. Losing her isn’t an option. I might as well rip my own heart from my chest if she’s not in my life. Living means nothing without her.
She just needs a little space. As much as I craved to hold her after the attack, I would’ve done even more damage if I forced her into my arms.
I’ll deal with the body, and then I’ll go to her to beg forgiveness.
I walk into the bedroom and find my phone, taking a few seconds to pull on a pair of sweatpants. I feel far too naked right now, even though no one’s here to see me.
The horror in Karolina’s eyes when she saw her face tattooed all over my arms, her name emblazoned over my heart…
I grit my teeth and force the memory away before despair can overwhelm me.
I find Ghost’s contact details and connect the call.
“What now? Did you find out who sent that note to your girl?” he asks as soon as he picks up.
“I found him,” I growl. “Actually, he found me. I handled it.”
Ghost lets out a low whistle. “He snuck up on you? You must be losing your touch, Ragnar.”
“I was distracted,” I snap back, loathing myself for losing focus for even one minute when Karolina was still in danger.
“She really has you fucked up, man.”
“Karolina is none of your business,” I seethe.
“Jesus, fine. If you don’t want to talk about the girl you’ve been stalking for years, why did you call me? It sounds like you killed the guy who was threatening her?”
“He’s dead,” I confirm.
That’s one bit of relief, at least. She referred to my enemy as her stalker before she ran away from me. She thinks he’s the one who’s been following her all along. She’ll assume he’s the one who killed Rich and sent the anonymous messages to her phone.
I can work with that. As long as she never learns that I was manipulating her into my protective arms, I can repair the damage between us.
She knows I’m Bones now.
But she doesn’t seem to realize I’m Brandon.
That much, she can never know.
“You need a clean-up crew?” Ghost calls my attention back to the immediate problem to be dealt with.
“Yes,” I reply. “I don’t want to reach out to my old contacts. I can’t compromise this new identity.”
“Seems like you’re already compromised,” he remarks. “Who was it?”
“Viktor Ivanov.” I snarl my enemy’s name and glower down at his dead body.
“So, the Russians are still pissed at you for getting out of the game.”
“I think he was more pissed about what I did to his brother. And his face.”
Ivanov’s features are slack in death, but the wicked scar from the corner of his lip to his temple still bisects half his face.
“Oh, yeah.” Ghost seems to have forgotten my numerous kills.
Sometimes, I lose track too.
“Are more of them coming?” I demand. “I can’t risk her.”
“You put her at risk the moment you entered her life with your fancy new identity as Rand Hirst. You had to know that this might happen. Anyone who wants to hurt you will exploit her as your weakness.”
“I’m not leaving her, if that’s what you’re implying is best for her.”
He sighs. “I figured you wouldn’t. You’ve been too obsessed for too many years to let her go now. What’s your next move?”
“First, I have to get rid of Ivanov’s body. Then I’ll figure out how to make things right with Karolina.”
“She must be pretty freaked out if she saw you kill him. What if she goes to the cops?”
“She won’t.” I’m sure of that. She’s too scared of her own fake identity being compromised.
“That’s not the only thing that scared her,” I admit.
I chose to leave Ghost behind with the rest of my bloody past, but in this moment of weakness, I need a friend to confide in. He’s the closest thing I have.
“She saw the tattoos,” I confess. “She knows I’m the masked man she’s been talking to online for years.”
“I thought you were going to tell her about that as soon as you met up with her. How the fuck did you think you could explain the tattoos otherwise?”
My jaw works. “She wouldn’t let me tell her I’m Rand. She stopped me before I could take off my mask.”
“So, you lied to her all this time?”
I wince. “Yes.”
I’ll have to pay my penance for that.
“That’s fucked up. But I shouldn’t be surprised at this point. You’re fixated on her to an insane degree. You’ve never seen sense when it comes to her.”
“I don’t need your validation,” I shoot back.
“No, you seem to want my advice. Stop being an asshole and just ask.”
I blow out a long breath, and my shoulders sag. “I don’t know how I’m going to fix this. What do I say to her?”
“You could start with the truth.”
“That I’m an assassin? Are you out of your goddamn mind?”
“Calm down,” he insists, exasperated. “I meant about being Bones and Rand. Tell her that you moved to England to be with her. You planned to do that originally, didn’t you?”
I run a hand through my hair, agitated. “She’s scared of me now. I betrayed her trust. She might not be able to accept the fact that I’m her masked man and her professor.”
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You’ve always been far too angsty for your own good. Get over yourself, apologize, and give her as much of the truth as you can stomach. If it’s really meant to be, she’ll accept you.”
“You don’t have to be a dick about it.”
“Yes, I do. It’s the only way to stop your moping. I thought you’d be better once they fixed your face, but you clearly have a lot of work to do to sort your shit out. I’m not your therapist.”
“I don’t need a therapist. I just need Karolina.”
“Then go get her. I know you’re not going to give up, so stop whining and fix things with your girl.”
I pause for a long moment, bracing myself to endure the difficult conversation that’s to come.
He’s right. I’m not giving up. Not ever.
“Thanks, Ghost.”
“Don’t thank me. Just pay me. I’m going to call the clean-up crew. Get out of the house while they handle it. You don’t want them to see your face. They’re discreet, but everyone can be bought for the right price.”
“You’ll get your money.”
I’ll pay anything to get myself out of this clusterfuck and back into Karolina’s arms.
She’s priceless, more valuable that all the blood money I’ve ever earned.
It’s a good thing I have plenty of it. I’ll always be able to take care of her.
Always.