Chapter Twenty-Two
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First comment: [deleted]
Second comment: We don’t ban books in Wayward Harbor, Colleen.
—Wayward Harbor Online Community Group
When Helen got home from her night out, she found Lucy sitting on the floor of her bedroom with her belongings spread all over the bed and the bins sitting, still empty, next to her.
Lucy looked up at her. “I didn’t get very far.”
Helen chuckled. “You’re surprisingly bad at this. I mean, it’s all going with you. It’s just a matter of making it all fit in your car again.”
“I know.” A tear slipped down her cheek, and she swiped it away.
“What’s really going on, honey?”
“I don’t know if I want a fresh start.”
“I don’t understand. You want to go back to Las Vegas?”
“No. Not Las Vegas.” That never even crossed her mind. “I really like it here, Gran.”
Saying it out loud broke the logjam of emotion in her mind, and she sobbed into a fistful of tissues until there was nothing left in her but sniffles and hiccups.
Gran brought her a glass of water and then sat quietly on the edge of the bed, letting Lucy sort herself out. It took a while, but her grandmother was patient and waited until it didn’t seem like there were any tears left in her.
Then she stood. “Let’s go sit on the couch. I’m too old to perch on a bed like this.”
Once they were settled on the couch, Helen reached over and covered her hand.
“Lucy, if you want to stay here, you’re welcome to stay.
I hope you know that. As a matter of fact, nothing would make me happier, but I didn’t want to say it out loud and influence you.
I want what makes you happier, and I thought that was being a fancy mixologist in Miami. ”
“I thought so, too. But this town feels like home.”
“It is home. And no matter where you live, it can still be home because I’m here. Taylor’s here.”
“Nick’s here,” Lucy whispered.
“Ah.”
“You know how you told me building a life is like building a home and you’re my foundation?” Her grandmother nodded. “You are my foundation, but in my heart, the house I was building had Nick in it.”
“Did you tell Nick that?”
“No.” Lucy shook her head, not wanting to admit she was too afraid.
“Okay. So I guess it’s safe to say that Nick’s already made some visits to your house. And that he liked being in your house.”
Lucy snorted a laugh. “That sounds a little dirty, Gran.”
“It really does, but it was too late. I’d committed to the analogy.”
“I think Nick liked being in my house. But I think it’s because he knew my house isn’t permanent. Like maybe visiting my house was okay, but he doesn’t want to live in it.”
“But you didn’t invite him to try, right?”
“It’s complicated.”
“It always is. But tell me why.”
“I’ve had this dream of Miami for a long time. But even if he agreed to go, he’d be miserable, Gran. Maybe he’d try to hide it, but I know he’d hate Florida. And he’d hate being so far from his brothers. And Beck’s kids.”
“But you’d have to give up your dream to stay here with him.”
“That’s the thing, Gran,” Lucy said, suddenly unable to sit still.
She stood up and threw her arms in the air.
“I don’t know if that’s even what I want.
I dreamed about Miami at a time I had nothing but a job serving drinks, friendships that were superficial at best and Iris.
Sydney, who was a good friend, said I should go to Miami and work with her, being my own boss doing a thing I’m passionate about. ”
“And now?”
“Now, my life is full. And my heart is full. I have you and Willow. And I have a sister. A sister who’s getting married and having a baby.
I have friends. I live in a community where people care about their neighbors and come together to take care of Dolly.
Where a woman who has every reason to hate me will still help me when I need it. But—”
She ran out of steam and plopped back onto the couch, dropping her head into her hands. “But I love Nick, and I don’t know if I can stay in Wayward Harbor because he thought my house was just a summer rental.”
“Do you believe he thinks that?”
“I know he thinks that.”
It was hard, but Lucy told her grandmother what Nick had said to her. About having one less person to take care of. Her voice cracked a couple of times, but she got it all out while her grandmother’s expression hardened.
“That was very harsh,” Helen whispered, but it was the confusion in her eyes that caught Lucy’s attention.
She stilled, remembering the moment Nick broke her heart. But this time she pushed the hurtful words to the back of her mind and focused on his face and his body. His back rigid and his hand curled into fists. The line of his jaw.
His eyes.
“He was lying.” Lucy looked at her grandmother and shook her head. “He was lying so I would go to Miami and chase my dream without looking back.”
Helen’s shoulders sagged with relief. “Okay, that sounds so much more like Nick.”
“Yes, it does.” The shock and pain of what he’d said had been so overwhelming in the moment, she hadn’t seen it.
“What are you going to do?”
“Nothing.” And she meant it. “Whether he thought he was doing the right thing or not, Nick hurt me. So if he wants back in my house, he’s going to have to come knock on my door.”
* * *
The next morning was brutal. Nick was usually the first one up, so he got to enjoy a cup of coffee before the others came down.
But after one of the most miserable nights of his life, he’d overslept.
Not only were Gray and Theo already sitting at the island with their coffee mugs, but Beck was there, too.
“Was about to go up and start vacuuming outside your door like Mom used to do,” Beck said when he walked into the kitchen.
“You didn’t come back outside last night, either,” Theo added, while Gray just watched him.
“Didn’t feel great,” he muttered. “A bug or something. There better be coffee left in that pot.”
“There was, like, half a cup left,” Theo said. “So I poured it in your cup and brewed a fresh pot because you’ve trained us well.”
Nick didn’t laugh. He dumped out the half cup of cold coffee and filled it with fresh stuff from the carafe. Then he looked at Beck. “Why are you here? Where are the kids?”
“They’re sitting on the back deck,” his brother said, pointing to his kids, who were sitting in his line of sight on the other side of the glass. “They’re eating the powdered doughnuts they talked me into like we didn’t just get back from spending half the night in the urgent care center.”
Nick’s head jerked up, the idea of sadly staring into the depths of his coffee forgotten. “What happened? Why didn’t you call?”
“We’re fine. Jeremy’s been coughing a lot lately, and it got so bad in the middle of the night I was afraid it was something awful, so I took him in.
I was going to call one of you to sit with Sierra, but she was awake and refused to stay home.
” Beck sighed. “Turns out Jeremy has an ear infection and the cough is from fluids draining down the back of his throat. He’s on antibiotics and will be fine, but I won’t be working today. ”
Nick nodded. “Good. Though you could have just gone home and called, you know.”
Beck grinned. “But then they would have eaten those powdered doughnuts in my house instead of on your back deck.”
“The ant population thanks you,” Gray said, saluting him with a raised mug.
Nick didn’t usually mind his brothers’ banter, but he’d woken up with a headache almost as bad as his heartache and today wasn’t the day.
“Are you aware you’re actually making a growling sound out loud?” Theo asked, and then he shrugged when all three of them glared at him. “What? Just saying.”
“I already mentioned I don’t feel great. And I have a headache.”
“And I hope I get called out so I don’t have to work with you today,” Theo grumbled. “Though that means somebody has a fire. Maybe a small fire would be okay. An outdoor garbage bin fire could work.”
Nick stood and took his coffee upstairs to his bedroom, where he could drink it in peace. He’d take something for the headache, take a shower. Then he’d get in his truck, go to work, come home, eat, sleep and do it again. Grief had sideswiped him before, and he just had to push through it.
He made it a day and a half. Nick was on a ladder, trying to plan how they would take down a historic home’s crown molding and tin ceiling without damaging it, when a question blew through his mind and almost knocked him off.
Is Lucy still in Wayward Harbor?
She’d brought him his hoodie back, and that could only have meant she was wrapping up her stay and saying goodbye. There was a possibility she’d thrown her stuff in her car yesterday and was already driving south.
Feeling shaky, Nick climbed down the ladder before he could fall off. Then he stared blankly at the wall they’d be demolishing soon.
Her last memory of him would be the hurtful lies that had come out of his mouth. And his last memory of her would be the utter devastation in her eyes. He’d burned it down, and everything they’d shared was ashes.
If she was gone, it was what he’d wanted for her.
To go to Miami and not look back. He didn’t want her torn between him and what she wanted from her life.
But now that she might be gone, the pain and regret couldn’t be ignored.
Maybe she was okay, but he couldn’t live with the possibility she wasn’t.
He looked up at Beck, who was standing on top of a ladder at the other end of the crown molding, staring down at him. His brother didn’t look confused or annoyed by the interruption. He just looked down at him for a long moment and then smiled. “Go.”