Chapter Twenty-Two #2
Nick didn’t need to be told twice. He sprinted through the house, past Gray and Theo in the kitchen, where they were measuring the room to be updated.
He left an explanation up to Beck and jumped in his truck.
Before turning the key in the ignition, he rested his hand on the hoodie lying folded on the passenger seat, hoping for luck.
When he pulled into Helen’s driveway, Nick almost drove into a tree when the relief of seeing Lucy’s car parked next to her grandmother’s sapped all the strength from his muscles.
She hadn’t left yet.
Grabbing the hoodie, he made his way up the porch and knocked on the door. He concentrated on slowing his breathing while he waited for somebody to open it, and trying to prepare himself for the possibility the women inside would ignore him.
He’d deserve that.
When Helen finally opened it, he braced himself for scathing words, or at least anger in her eyes. But her expression was neutral. “Hello, Nick.”
“Hi, Helen. Can I talk to Lucy, please?”
“Hold on a second.”
Nick noticed she didn’t invite him in as she always would have done in the past. Instead, she left him standing on the porch like a guy trying to sell her something, which told him she knew everything.
Through the screen door, he watched her walking toward Lucy’s room.
And when he looked past her, his heart sank.
He could see enough of the smaller bedroom to see that the chaos that was Lucy trying to organize things was gone.
The boxes he’d carried in there the night he finished the room were gone.
He hadn’t thought to look into her car windows when he walked by, but it looked like, very soon, Lucy would also be gone.
As he watched, Helen nodded and then went into her own bedroom and closed the door. A moment later, Lucy appeared in her place and Nick could finally take a full breath.
She walked slowly toward him, her blue eyes never leaving his face. Anxiety rippled through him because her eyes weren’t rimmed with red. Her nose wasn’t red, and her face wasn’t puffy. Maybe he’d misjudged everything, and she wasn’t heartbroken at all.
He had to step out of the way when it became obvious she wasn’t going to invite him in, but rather join him out on the porch. He wasn’t even living room company now. Just front porch company, and he had nobody to blame but himself.
“Hi, Nick,” she said softly when she’d pulled the big door closed behind her and let the screen door swing shut. “What can I do for you?”
There were so many things he wanted to say to her, starting with how sorry he was and ending with how much he loved her, but it was all jammed up in his mind, not making sense. He held out the hoodie. “I want you to take this with you.”
“Why?”
Because I won’t be able to hold you anymore, but maybe imagining my favorite hoodie wrapped around you will keep me from crying myself to sleep every night.
“It gets cold in Miami, you know. In January and February it can be in the forties. And back in 2010, the temperature actually dropped to thirty-five.”
“I thought you established you wouldn’t be taking care of me anymore. And I’m pretty sure I established I don’t need you to.”
“I lied,” he blurted out. “Everything I said was a lie.”
Lucy didn’t look surprised. She simply kept looking at him with her arms crossed. “Why?”
“To drive you away before I could ask you to stay.”
She tilted her head, her arms crossed. “Why would that have been so bad?”
“Because you might have stayed. You might have given up your dreams of living in Miami and being your own boss. And I know very well that you can know you made the right choice, but still feel the loss of what you gave up.”
“But you didn’t let me make a choice at all. You chose to hurt me instead.”
“I’m so sorry for that. I was sorry as soon as I said it, and I should have chased you down the road, screaming it.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I still thought that, even though I did it the wrong way, I did the right thing.”
She shook her head. “So why are you here now?”
“Because I couldn’t live with myself if you… I don’t know. You believing I thought so little of you ate at me, and I didn’t want you going off to Miami hurt like that.”
“I’m not leaving.”
For a moment, he wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly. “What do you mean? You’re not leaving today? Or soon?”
“I mean I’m not going to Miami. I’m staying in Wayward Harbor.”
The relief that went through Nick was so potent, he sagged against the porch post. Thankfully, it was one of the repairs he’d done, so it was strong enough to hold his weight.
“But I’m not staying for you,” she said. “I’m staying for me. I’m staying because I have friends and family here, and because it’s my home.”
His vision blurred slightly, and he blinked furiously. “I’m happy for you. I screwed it up in a big way, but I swear that’s what I wanted for you. For you to be free to do what makes you happy.”
Nick nodded once and then dropped down a step. He should go, before he made it worse. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness, and he wouldn’t beg her for it now. If she could give it someday, he would be grateful, but he wouldn’t push her now.
“Why didn’t you ask me to stay?” she said before he could take another step.
“Because I love you, Lucy, and it scares me. The feelings I have for you scare me.” He inhaled and then shook his head. “No, it’s more. My feelings for you actually terrify me.”
“Am I that bad a bet?” She laughed, but it wasn’t the happy Lucy laugh he adored. “Loving me is terrifying?”
“What scares me is knowing I would let everybody in my life down if that’s what it took to keep you,” he said quietly.
“I would let down my brothers. I would walk away from my family’s business.
I’d let down our customers and the team and every single other person who relies on me if that’s what it took to make you happy. ”
“I would never ask you to turn your back on everybody in your life.”
“I know.” He scrubbed a hand over his face.
“It’s not that you would ask it, I guess.
It’s more just recognizing that I would.
It’s terrifying, honestly. Asking you to stay would have been asking you to give up your dreams, and I knew I would walk away from my family if you asked me to go with you. ”
“So you took the choice away from both of us.”
“I did and, again, I’ll always be sorry.”
“You would hate Miami,” she said, and she looked as if she might smile.
“I absolutely would hate Miami. But I love you more than I would absolutely hate living in Miami. And, as you’ve said, my brothers are grown men. They can take care of themselves.”
“Do you remember when Gran told me to build a house, and you told me not to forget that you can leave a house if it no longer serves you?”
“I do.”
“Dreams can change, Nick.” She walked to the edge of the stairs, and because he was down a step, they were almost eye level, but now she had the edge. “When I came to return your hoodie and asked if you were going to miss me, that was kind of my way of flirting my way into telling you how I felt.”
Nick closed his eyes. The regret so strong, it was like acid in the back of his throat. But he opened them again because every second they were closed was a second he couldn’t see her pretty blue eyes.
“I accept your apology,” she said, finally giving him a small smile. “Because I know you, and because you’re a good man.”
The air left his lungs, and he reached out to take her hand. “I don’t deserve you.”
She scowled, her fingers squeezing his. “Don’t you ever say that again, Nick Slater.”
“I love you,” he said, holding her gaze so she could see how much he meant it.
“Now, that you can say a lot.” Then she leaned in and pressed her mouth to his.
The kiss was warm, like the sun after a cold spring storm, and he lost himself in it. Somehow this amazing, exasperating woman loved him, and everything felt right in his world.
She broke off the kiss and ran her thumb over his bottom lip. “And I love you.”
“Fair warning, I’m going to tell everybody I love you. I’m going to hold your hand everywhere we go. I’m going to kiss you all over this town.” When she laughed, he stepped back onto the porch so he could hold her close. “I might even post about it in the online group.”
“No,” she said, pulling away. “There’s a guy who won’t stop doing cat puns, and I’m honestly starting to be afraid for him.”
“Yeah, everybody wanting to sink their claws into him should give him paws.”
“No, Nick,” she said, and then she leaned against his chest, her body shaking with laughter.
“I can’t wait to see what we build on our foundation,” he whispered against her hair.