19. Jason
19
Jason
When Jason’s alarm went off Saturday morning, he nearly fell off the bed. “Stupid clock,” he mumbled, grabbing the sheet for balance. Instead of sleep, he’d spent the night thinking about kissing Hannah. The first time had been horrific. They were finally in a good place in their relationship, but a bad experiment would more than likely involve deep emotions that might steamroll their new beginnings.
Despite his hesitancy, he had to get past the barrier. He was a man, after all, one with desires and feelings, and he had felt just as much of that desire as he had seen in Hannah’s eyes. He wanted to kiss her, for that touch to be as normal and wonderful as hugging her was. He was sure that after practice—lots of it, hopefully—it would not only stop bothering him but would also be something he looked forward to.
With that bit of hope, he hurried into the bathroom to wash up. He wasn’t sure what Hannah had planned, but he wanted to look decent... and smell nice.
His nerves jumped as he moved from task to task, from shaving to brushing his teeth. When the doorbell rang right on time, he nearly jumped out of his skin .
It didn’t help that Hannah looked ridiculously cute in jeans and a sweatshirt. “Morning,” she said brightly, holding out of a plateful of citrus-flavored macarons.
His stomach growled. He had purposely skipped breakfast, not wanting food to upset his stomach even more. Knowing exactly how good the cookies would be, helped his appetite return. He reached out for the plate, but she snuck it behind her back.
“Nah-ah-ah! Those will be earned.”
He dropped his head and gave a dramatic sigh to let her know he was teasing. “I guess if I have to earn a reward, that’s the best one.”
She moved the plate in front of her again and leaned forward, tugging on the side of his shirt with both hands. “We could always start your lessons early, though, if you want a sneak peek. Or peck.”
His attention moved from the plate of cookies to her lips and back to the cookies. He wasn’t sure which one was more tempting. Wait! Yes, he did. The cookies, of course. Her lips were daggers. He closed his eyes. Not daggers. He didn’t want their experiment to fail so early just because of negative thinking.
He opened his eyes and saw the softness in hers, the kind smile she wore, the way she tugged at the tail of his shirt. Desire grew in his chest, but there was also hesitation and worry.
“I can see what a dilemma this is,” she said, lowering her arm. “Don’t worry. We’ll work up to it.”
He raised a brow, wondering for the tenth time in the last few hours exactly how she would pull off such a task. “What did you have in mind?” he stammered.
“Similar tactics like we’ve already used. Counting in your head after contact has helped.”
“Yeah, but we haven’t tried it with kissing. ”
“That’s true, but we can’t know how it will go until we try. Do you still want to do this?”
His gaze dropped to her lips, and he nodded. If nothing else, she deserved it.
She reached for his hand with her free one. “Today is going to be great.”
Compassion, combined with her confident smile, gave him a boost of hope. Together, they would figure it out.
She glanced around the room and sighed. “Your house is so put together.”
“And yours should be too, right?” He poked her side and smiled to let her know he was joking. He was almost positive it was back to its chaotic mess.
Her mouth twitched. “Let’s move on. I think we’d better set up in the front room.”
“What are we setting up for?”
“Practice.” She led him back into the front room. It was a smaller sitting room with a love seat and couch, but that was all.
She set the plate on the far cushion of the couch and took his hand. “Where should we sit?” she asked.
He led her to the other side of the couch, and together they sat down. Immediately, she turned her knees into his leg.
She giggled when she met his gaze. “Don’t look so scared. For the first activity, we are just going to have you touch your own lips.”
“Me?” Instinctively, he brought his hand to his mouth. He had thankfully shaved that morning, so his face was smooth, and his lips were moisturized with ChapStick he’d applied earlier. His lips were smooth and touching them was as easy as touching his leg or arm. No impact. “I don’t think this is going to work. It’s not the same.”
“Hold on,” she said, reaching up to touch her own mouth. He watched her carefully as she touched her lips and held a smile as he watched her.
“I bet you already know a lot about this,” she said, leaving her fingers by her mouth while she talked. “But did you know that lips are a hundred times more sensitive than our fingertips.”
A shiver rolled through him as she scooted closer, her knee digging into his thigh now. Her fingers never left her lips, and her eyes stayed trained on him. He gulped as he nodded. “I did know that, actually.”
Keeping her gaze steady, she reached out to his face until her fingers brushed against his lips. He stilled as every nerve in his body buzzed. “Look at me,” she said softly. She pressed her hand to his mouth.
She touched his top and bottom lip before dropping her hand to her side. “They’re smooth,” she said. “That’s what happens when they see no action.” Her eyes twinkled as she laughed.
He laughed with her and relaxed his shoulders. So far, so good.
“Now, your turn,” she said suddenly. “Touch my lips with your hands.”
He stared at her.
“Unless you don’t—” she said quickly. “I only want to do what’s comfortable for you.”
“No, I want to.”
He swallowed hard as her attention fell to his mouth. He shook his head, bringing her eyes back to his. He held out a shaky hand to her mouth. But his fingers froze a few inches in front of her lips.
“This is just another part of my face, something you’ve touched half a dozen times. You like my cheeks. They’re the same fluffy feeling.”
He chuckled and tightened his fingers in a fist and then released them again, rushing his hand forward until it touched her cheek.
“Okay, halfway there. Now slowly work your hand over.”
Keeping his eyes on hers, he moved his fingers down her cheek and to her jawbone, tracing her face.
She squirmed away. “That tickles.”
He grinned and dropped his gaze to her lips. He’d stared at her mouth a dozen times, but never so intensely. She had a thin upper lip and a full bottom one. It was kind of adorable how they mismatched to make the perfect smile.
“You made it,” she breathed as his fingers traveled over her lips.
Warmth traveled over his body. “Touching your lips with my fingers and touching them with my mouth will be very different. I already know I like touching you .”
“Then that means you’ll like kissing me.”
He caressed her bottom lip one more time before dropping his hand. “Okay, let’s do this. I’ve stalled enough.”
She raised her brows. “But we only started.”
He nodded. “And already you’re tempting enough. Let’s go with it.”
A smile played on her lips, but she waited for him to come to her. So slowly he could count the seconds, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers.
Zap. He sprung back and sighed. “It happened again. That painful feeling.” He held a hand to his lips to soothe them.
“Count in your head until the pain goes away and then kiss me again when you’re ready.”
One, two, three. Concern flitted over her expression as she watched him. He made it to thirteen before the pain disappeared.
“Thirteen,” he said.
She waited, but didn’t say anything .
After taking a deep breath, he leaned in again. Pain sparked through his lips as he made contact again.
“Ouch.” He inched away and dropped his head to his hands. She waited quietly as he counted to eleven.
The third attempt, he only made it to seven.
The next time, when the pain came, she tried to back away, but he reached out and held her cheeks. “Can you just... stay here? Let me get used to the feel of your lips on mine?” He counted to seven and then leaned in. She froze as he pressed her lips to his and continued to talk. “I need to get used to the pain. Let’s talk about something.”
She laughed. “What?
“I’m serious. Let’s talk about something, anything.”
“You want to have a conversation while our lips are touching?”
“Sure, if it distracts me.”
“Fine, but I’m going to close my eyes.”
He chuckled, and for a moment, he forgot what they were doing. But then he watched her eyes dance behind her closed lids. She was beautiful. He caressed one side of her cheek as he kissed her again.
His pain became a numbing sensation, and he closed his eyes and deepened the kiss. Something in his chest stirred as she responded enthusiastically, almost too much and pressed harder against his lips.
He backed away, bringing a tiny pout to her lips.
“That... was good,” she said smiling. “How was it for you?”
“It was... better than I imagined it could be, but I need a break.”
Her hands traced the lines in his face. “I think you deserve a cookie.”
He chuckled and was grateful to lean back against the couch while she moved away to retrieve the plate. She handed it to him, and he chose a lemon-flavored macaron.
She picked up a lime one and munched on it thoughtfully. His gaze fell to her lips and the desire to pull her back into his arms grew. He hadn’t expected for things to go so well. It almost... scared him how much progress they had made in a few minutes.
“Are you in pain?” she asked.
He shook his head. “Not exactly. I just feel funny. Kind of lightheaded, maybe a little nauseous. And I think I’m done experimenting for the day.”
A hint of disappointment passed over her face, but she hid it well the next second. “Well, that was definitely a big step, but we have plenty of time to perfect it.” She handed him the plate. “You deserve every single one.”
Relief washed over him as he took the plate and scooted away again. Even though they’d shared a moment, he could clearly see her need of physical touch increasing. She looked over at his mouth with interest as he took his first bite.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.
“Don’t be. That last kiss was amazing.”
“Right. If only I could make some progress with Sabum in class. He looked ready to murder me at the last practice.”
“I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but you’re doing amazing. Slow and steady will win the race, and I’m just glad I get to be here for it.”
He took her hand and squeezed her fingers. Somehow, he knew she was right. If he had her, he could do anything.