18. Hannah
18
Hannah
Jason looked around as Hannah pulled up to the dog park. “Don’t we need to pick up Ginger and Snaps?”
“I told Jack and Annie I would take the dogs out tomorrow. We need our hands free for tonight.”
He swallowed hard. “I see.”
Grabbing the door handle, she nodded. “This is going to be a crucial step in your experimental journey, but let me know if it’s too much. At any time, we can leave or stop.”
He looked at her with almost desperate eyes. “Please don’t let me quit.”
“If you say so, I won’t give up. Today we are going to walk on the paths.”
His eyes darted around the dog park. The clouds had made for a cool day, and everyone and their dog was out—literally. “But they’re packed. What if I bump into someone?”
“Then I want you to do three things. Apologize to the person you accidentally bump into, keep walking, and count down the time in your head until the pain goes away. I want to see how long the pain lasts each time.”
She gave him a warm smile and took both of his hands. “ In your entire life, how many times have you encountered someone as rough as that idiot at the movies?”
He knew the answer right away. Only the jerk in high school who threw a basketball at his back. Sure, a few people had brushed against him too rough in the hallway or tried to buddy up to him and throw their arms around him, but he had gotten so used to being alone, most people didn’t try anymore.
“Exactly. It’ll be rare. But the passing brushes happen all the time. And we should focus more on getting past that. So that’s what we’re going to do today. Measure how long it takes for the pain to pass. Ready?”
Gritting his teeth, he pulled himself from the car, determined not to let the guy from the theater, such an insignificant person, make a dark mark in his life. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to cling to Hannah, whose hand waited for his as soon as she was by his side. It had been a few hours since he’d allowed himself to enjoy her touches. He took a deep breath of fresh air and entwined his fingers with hers. “Let’s go.”
They started toward the mile loop that went around the park.
“Feels nice not to drag two dogs along with us,” she said.
Just as he was about to agree, a couple headed for them, taking up most of the sidewalk with three poodles as big as Ginger and Snaps. He edged to the side, but the lady stayed where she was on her half of the sidewalk, and eventually, the man brushed against him.
A wave of fire crossed over his hip.
“Apologize first,” she coached him under her breath.
“Sorry about that,” he called, turning back.
“We take up a lot of room,” the lady said with a smile. “Sorry. ”
Jason had stopped, but Hannah prodded him forward. “Walk and count in your head.”
Jason started mumbling numbers and then he sighed.
“Is it gone?”
“Yeah, that wasn’t very long. Like eleven seconds.”
“Not bad. And the pain is gone.”
“Yeah. I guess it wasn’t so bad when I timed it, but I didn’t really touch much of him. Just my side brushed against him.”
“I see. Let’s try it again. I think it will get easier the more we do this.”
They brushed into several more dog walkers, and each time, Jason worked through the three steps. His time stayed consistently at ten seconds, but he seemed positive. “Brushing up to someone doesn’t hurt as much as eye contact.”
“Okay, let’s see what we can do.”
Just then, an older lady lost her dog’s leash. “Oh shoot,” she mumbled to herself. She looked around helplessly. The dog didn’t do anything to run away, but she didn’t look capable of bending down.
Just as she leaned over to Jason to ask him for help, he dropped Hannah’s hand and bent down to pick up the leash. His hand twitched as he handed it back to the woman.
“Thank you, young man,” she said.
“Not a problem.”
“What a beautiful couple you two are.”
Hannah took his hand again as he smiled down at her. “Thanks,” he said. “Have a good evening.”
Without any prompting, he kept walking.
“Way to go, Jason. You didn’t even flinch back there. How many seconds?”
He flexed the hand that had touched the lady. “Not sure. I didn’t count. ”
She grinned and looked ahead as more couples moved around them.
“Progress. Let’s keep going.”
He swallowed hard but nodded. “Why didn’t I have a coach like you in high school? If only my dad...”
“You’ve got Rueben.”
“That’s true, but he lived so far away. It wasn’t until I graduated high school that he became a bigger part of my life. I think he realized how my parents had pushed me to the side, and he refused to see me any way other than as the perfect grandson, capable of anything. It really helped when I was trying to figure my life out. Probably wouldn’t have gone to college had it not been for him.”
“He is pretty great. Do you miss him?”
“No, he still texts and calls as much as he did before. He’s already bored of retirement. I told him this morning we were dating. Hope that’s okay.”
Hannah grinned. “Yep.”
Just then, a woman who was running headed straight for them. Her headphones were on and she was searching the park with her eyes. Before Hannah knew what was happening, he stepped behind her and the woman slammed into her.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” the woman said, ripping out her earbuds.
Hannah massaged her shoulder and looked back to see a very guilty Jason hiding behind her. “No problem.”
“Guess I have some work to do still,” he mumbled.
She laughed and took his hand again. “I guess we do.”
For the next few weeks, Hannah spent her evenings with Jason, interacting with others at busy places like the mall, restaurants, and the dog park. By the end of the second week, shaking hands cost him about five to seven seconds of pain—if he remembered to count—and brushing against someone didn’t usually bother him at all. If that wasn’t progress, she wasn’t sure what was.
He also applied the strategies he learned with her at the office. A month after Rueben’s retirement, he was finally getting used to the constant contact with others in the office.
He still struggled at his taekwondo lessons though. No matter how much he tried, he struggled having someone actively attack him. If Hannah was the one coming at him, it was easier, but he still struggled to block defensively and attack offensively. But Sabum was patient and allowed Hannah to work with him more than not.
The only thing they hadn’t practiced again was kissing. But the closer they became, the more that desire grew within Hannah.
Holding hands became too normal, and their hugs never lasted long enough.
On Friday evening, two weeks after purposefully going into public, they were ending their evening at her doorstep.
“You’re amazing,” Jason said, tugging gently on her hand. “You haven’t given up on me this whole time.”
“Of course I didn’t. I couldn’t.”
“How did I get so lucky?”
She bit back a smile as he carefully tucked a piece of hair that had fallen in her eyes behind her ear. Her gaze went from his trusting eyes to his full lips, and suddenly she wanted to celebrate his success with a kiss.
He seemed to sense her thoughts and held her cheeks with both hands. His thumb rolled over her cheek, spreading warmth up her face. His attention fell to her lips. “I know you’ve been super patient with me. I want to kiss you as well, but...” He looked back at her. “I—”
“Maybe we could do some more experiments,” she said hoarsely. She couldn’t speak much when he looked at her that way.
He raised a brow. “Experiments?”
She nodded. “Yep, some testing of the waters. It doesn’t seem fair that you’re missing out on some of the best touching possible. Do you trust me?”
He dropped his hands and nodded once. “Of course.”
“Great. Then tomorrow, we will begin Operation Kiss Me.”