17. Jason
17
Jason
On Monday morning, Jason hurried into his office. It was his first official day in Rueben’s old position. He’d been taking over the responsibilities of the role slowly, but now he was on his own.
He’d had the weekend to decompress and think, and he had finally come to terms with what he needed to do with Hannah. It was time he took initiative for his life.
“She’s not here,” Brandy said when he came out of his office and looked around.
“Who?”
She rolled her eyes. “Hannah, of course. She called in sick a few minutes ago.”
His heartbeat thumped in his ears as he nodded. “Right. Thanks for letting me know.”
Brandy took a step toward him. “Is everything all right between you two? She seemed upset.”
Worry trickled through him as he gave a too enthusiastic answer. “Of course, we’re fine.”
Brandy smiled warmly. “Good. It’s been fun cheering you two on. You’ve come so far, Jason, and I know it’s been because of her.”
Forcing a smile, he backed toward his office. That was the exact problem. He had started to lean on Hannah so much that he wasn’t sure what was actual progress and what was because Hannah was by his side. “Thanks. I better get to it.” Then he turned and hurried inside.
First thing, he picked up the office phone and called Hannah. If she wouldn’t answer his phone calls, maybe she’d answer a call from the office. After the third ring, she answered.
“Hello?” Her throat was hoarse, and she really did sound sick.
“Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t feeling good? I could’ve brought you soup... or something.”
“This weekend wore me down, and I couldn’t even get out of bed.”
“Is there anything you need? Can I bring some soup by later, for lunch?”
“No,” she said quickly. “I’m sorry, I’ll be at work tomorrow. I just needed... some extra rest.”
She didn’t sound like her usual chipper self, but after what she’d gone through over the weekend, she had every right to be down. Hopefully, he could positively reassure her everything would be fine. “I understand.” He tapped his fingers on his desk. “I... have something I need to talk to you about, but I think I should wait until we meet face-to-face.”
She sighed. “All right. See you tomorrow.” The phone clicked before he’d even had a chance to say goodbye. Well, at least she was mostly okay. Some rest should help.
He focused on his work the rest of the day, the thought of seeing her the next day pulling him through. But when he passed her house that evening, her car wasn’t there. Could it be she had parked in her garage? There was no chance. Her garage was packed full of stuff. Only a monumental effort to clean it out would have made parking in it possible. So where was her car?
Questions jumbled in his mind, but he ignored them and headed home.
The moment he walked in the door, the air felt different. Stale instead of comforting like it usually did. Sabum had needed to take the night off, and it wasn’t a dog-walking night. Instead of hiding under his covers to decompress, Jason wanted to get out, to walk around. And he wanted Hannah by his side.
He sighed and opened his cupboard. He did make a good chicken noodle soup. If he had extra, he could take some leftovers by Hannah’s house. She hadn’t wanted him to come over, but maybe if he knocked and left the soup on the doorstep, he could walk away slow enough to get a peek of her at the door or to wave. Something.
He hurried through the task of preparing chicken and making the broth, and by the time he’d added noodles, he was positive his impromptu visit was a good idea. If nothing else, she would have dinner for one night that week. He hated cooking when he didn’t feel good.
By the time he had boxed everything up with some daffodils from his yard, he was confident she’d be happy to see him.
Walking over there was another story. There were only a handful of houses between his and hers, and it was a longer walk than he’d imagined. Some neighbors were out watering their lawns, and they gave him looks of surprise as he was out and about.
I know, I know. But I’m not doing this for me. It’s for her.
He hesitated at her door, not sure how to explain why he had gone against her wishes. I felt like chicken soup, and I made too much. And I miss you. No, it was all a bad idea. He laid the soup on the doorstep and knocked softly on the door. Then he started his lonely walk to his house again.
“Wait!”
He spun at the sound of Hannah’s voice. He hadn’t even left her driveway. She didn’t look great as she peeked at him from behind the door.
“I cooked you some of my favorite chicken noodle.”
“Thank you,” she croaked. Even at her worst, she was beautiful.
“Feel better. Tomorrow we can eat lunch together... and then talk.”
Her face seemed to pale, even from far away. “Right, I’ll be ready. Not that I have much of a choice.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, stepping closer.
“Nothing. Bye. Thank you.” She picked up the soup and shrank behind the door again.
He headed back down her driveway with only a peek behind him. He could’ve sworn a curtain moved in the front room, but maybe it had been her bird. He shuddered, still remembering its tiny claws attaching to his shirt. By the end of their time together, he’d gotten used to it, but he’d still avoided the bird. Now he would do anything to see that bird again, if it meant he could be inside with Hannah. He felt a stab of disappointment that she hadn’t invited him in, but what sick person would want to share their germs?
No, he could wait until the next day. He’d make sure to bring treats for their lunch break and flowers to arrange on her desk. He smiled at the thought, sure it would cheer her up.
The next morning, he was pulled into several meetings before he could even stop by his office. When he finally did make over to Hannah’s to peek in, the light was off. Brandy was looking his way. “Did Hannah call in sick again?” he asked.
She shook her head. “She’s been in there since she arrived an hour ago. She hasn’t come out, even to help with the copy machine. I think she doesn’t want anyone to get sick.”
Brandy looked at the office and then back at him. “Maybe you should set up camp out here. I don’t want you to get whatever she has.”
His lips twitched. “It’ll be fine.”
As she continued to protest, he grabbed the door handle and pulled it open.
There she sat, as if it were a normal day, clicking away on her computer. Except, the light was off and her screen was so dim that he could barely see the words.
“Are you having a migraine? Do you want me to keep the light off?”
She spun away and scooted closer to her desk. “Uh, it’s okay. I’m sure it’s not good for it to be off. I just didn’t want anyone bothering me.”
After flicking on the light, he eased out a slow breath as he came around the table and studied her. Dark circles were underneath her eyes, but that was the only sign there was anything wrong. “You look better,” he lied.
She frowned as she looked down at her hands. “Right? My students even noticed.” At least she had her voice back. Hannah looked at him, really looked at him, for the first time. “I missed you.”
Warmth filled him from head to toe. “I missed you too. I was worried.”
She smiled for the first time. “The soup was yummy.”
He smiled. “I’m glad. I also brought a treat for lunch, something I know you’ll like.” His stomach growled, and he glanced at his watch. “Have you eaten yet? I haven’t taken a break, and I have a window of time before another meeting.”
Her smile disappeared. “I guess it’s better to get it all done with, and then we can make a decision of what to do.”
“About what?”
“Nothing.” She grabbed something under her desk and looked around. “Can we stay here and eat?”
He glanced around the tiny office. They wouldn’t even be able to sit next to each other. “How about our spot? It’s a sunny day, today, and we could walk on the busy side of the street when we’re done and window shop.”
“I’d rather not.”
He sat down with a sigh. It was the closest they could be together without raising suspicion since the office still didn’t know about their relationship. “Something’s wrong, isn’t it?”
She dropped her head, unable to meet his eyes.
So, he was right. “Is it me? Did I do something again?”
She lifted her head and met his eye. “Not at all. I just know you’re going to break things off, and I’m—”
“What? No, I’m not.”
She lifted her head. “You’re not? But the other night—”
“The other night, I was mad at myself for not coming to your rescue. I felt like a horrible boyfriend.”
Her cheeks reddened as she looked away.
“Oh, I guess we didn’t define anything, but I’m pretty sure—”
“No, it’s the perfect term. But what about the kissing?”
Now his cheeks heated up. “What about it?”
“You said it was awful.”
“It kind of was... but that’s not your fault. I’m sure you did... your best.”
“I think I jumped to conclusions. Someone ready to break up with me wouldn’t go through the trouble of making homemade soup.”
“Definitely not.” He grinned and took her hand across the desk, then realized they were at work and let go. “Should we go to our spot?”
Her face lit up, and her cheery disposition returned. “That would be great.”
They gathered their things, and he produced their treat on their walk to their picnic spot. It was a loaf of banana bread he had made the night before with all of his extra time.
“I didn’t realize you cooked so much.”
He shrugged. “Not as much as you, but you’ve inspired me to use my kitchen more. I was spoiled when we were together.”
“Those were fun times. How is everything at your house?”
“Like I got a free remodel. I finally heard back from the city, and they’re processing my paperwork. Thankfully, everyone’s been really good to work with.”
“That’s good.” She sat down by the fountain wall and leaned against it. So, what did you want to talk about if you didn’t want to break up with me?”
“I still can’t believe you’d think I’d give up on us so easily. It took me forever to be brave enough to realize my feelings. I’m not going to give you up easily.” He took her hand and ran a thumb over her skin, marveling at how soft it was. “I’m ready to step it up a notch in overcoming my aversion to touch. I know I might never fully recover, but I know in time, or at least I believe with practice, I can stop flinching when someone accidentally touches me. Or when I’m supposed to be greeting people at work, I want to shake hands with others and not have to second-guess or force myself to go through with it.”
“That makes sense. I think I can help. ”
He blew out a slow breath. “But there’s more. I know that you’re a seeker.”
“I am.”
“And that it’s probably not always easy to hold back. I want you to know I’m crazy about you, and just like you’ve been my safe haven, my only exception, I want to fulfill your needs too. So I want to... practice kissing too.”
She hid a smile behind her water bottle. “I see. Well, I think I can help there too. Never fear, I am here. How about after work today, I’ll pick you up. I have a new idea to help you overcome your touch issues.”
He worried his lip. He knew she would be on top of it, but hopefully he wouldn’t regret how proactive she was. An image of the man in the theater assaulting her filled his mind. He shook his head and pushed his negative thoughts away. No, he had to make it work. Whatever it was, he was all in.