Chapter Fifteen
Zoe
As I let myself in the front door, I feel giddy and excited.
Maybe I should feel nervous because Cameron knows where I live and clearly feels comfortable inviting himself over. But Damien had walked me up to the front door just to make sure that I was safe, planted a kiss on my lips, and left.
I wish he had stayed, but it's better that he didn't. I already have plans for the night, plans with my friends to watch a movie. I guess Ben had been stood up by a date and needed a pick me up, so, of course, we all agreed to get together. After all, that's what friends are for.
But as I lean against my door, I think about how much fun I'd had with Damien and the way I felt when he kissed my lips. Not only that, but I think about how amazing he makes me feel and how much I like him.
I exhale, reminding myself that I need to hurry up and get ready before my friends come over. Usually we rotate who's place we're at, but I had volunteered, mostly because I don’t want to drive anywhere. My laziness now will mean a bit of a mess to clean later, but I don’t mind.
I reach into my room and throw on my PJs with a smile on my face. A few moments later I hear a knock at the door and race over to open it. On the other side are my friends Cass, Amy, and Ben. They're patiently waiting for me on the front step with expectant eyes and thrilled smiles, and I open my arms as they all pile into a hug.
“How are you doing, Ben?” I ask, patting him on the back as my friends back off.
“Well, I could be way better. But I'm looking forward to having fun with you guys tonight.” As he says the words, Cass lets out a whoop and pounds him on the back. Amy laughs and they all walk into my house in their PJs.
My friends scatter. Ben walks over and puts the bottle of wine he brought with him on the counter. Amy hurries over to the microwave to make popcorn, and Cass pulls me into another hug, her eyes searching my face.
I try to act casual, but I have a feeling she sees right through me.
“Hold on,” she says, searching deeper in my expression as I look away, my cheeks stinging. I have no doubt she can see the glow in my face, the sparkle in my eyes, and the happiness in my smile.
“You look different.” If she studies me, I can tell she's trying to figure out what has changed. I kind of hope she doesn't. “Oh my God,” she says, and I know that I'm caught.
Our other friends go quiet and all attention turns to me. “You hooked up with him, didn't you?”
I swallow hard, not sure how to answer this question. Of course, these are my friends. I don't have to answer the question because they all already know the second Cass says something.
“No way. You have to tell us everything.” Amy sounds absolutely thrilled as she glances at Ben, who shrugs his shoulders and smiles in my direction. “How was it? Is he amazing? Was he good?”
“Oh my gosh, Amy, give her a break,” Ben says with a laugh.
“This is how girls talk, Ben.” Amy reaches out and gives his shoulder a gentle shove. He chuckles, but glances at me as if reading my discomfort.
“I don't know. She just looks like she doesn't want to talk about it. I mean, she doesn't have to, right?” I sense that he's going to bat for me, but it's not necessary, and I smile and nod my head at him.
“Trust me, I've gotten used to their invasive questions. You just wait until you get a girlfriend. They will not let up until you share every dirty detail.” I smile at the tail end of my words as Cass speaks up.
“So how big is he?”
Amy gasps, staring at Cass in disbelief. But Cass waves away Amy's concerns, staring at me with an air of curiosity. “I asked what I asked. Don't pretend like you don't want to know.”
Amy nods her head in agreement, and I can't help the laughter that bursts out of me. “Cass, you really need a boyfriend.” I love my friends, I really do. But this is a conversation I am not comfortable having. I don't mind them knowing that I was intimate with Damien, but I don't want them to be asking his size.
“Okay, below average, average, or above average?” Cass narrows her eyes as she asks the question.
“Above average.” The words burst out of me without my permission and my cheeks sting.
She and Amy shoot knowing glances at one another while whooping a loud, “Hoh!”
There are just no secrets around these girls. Not that I mind all that much. I trust them. I could come to them if I had any concerns about Damien, but right now, I'm happy and comfortable with where we're at. Still, I know that my friends are thrilled for me and happy that I found someone.
Without warning, Amy and Cass both run over to me, arms open, squealing as they bounce up and down, and pull me into an exuberant hug. Over their shoulder I catch sight of Ben, who's smiling and shaking his head.
“Honestly, I'm just glad you're not with Jake anymore and that you found somebody who makes you smile and glow like this.” Ben gestures wildly at me and I smile even wider. I love how supportive my friends are and I’m grateful for them.
While still holding on to me tight, my friends bombard me with questions and compliments, and I laugh. They're being over the top, but I love them for it. They are definitely my best friends, and I'm glad that they want me to be happy and see that I truly am with Damien.
“Okay, guys, calm down a little bit. It was just a date.”
Cass snorts and Amy gives me a look like she doesn't believe a word I'm saying. “ Just a date?” she asks, arching an eyebrow at me.
“Come on, stop being modest. You're glowing like a firefly.” Amy sighs at the tail end of her words, as if she wishes that she could be glowing like I am.
“You just told our best friend she looks like a bug.” Ben sounds stunned even as a smile creeps across his lips. The microwave timer beeps, warning us that the popcorn is done, but everyone ignores it. I can't ignore the rich smell of popcorn, however, as my mouth waters.
“You know that you deserve to be happy and loved, right?” Cass asks.
I nod my head. Of course, I know now that I deserve better than Jake, but at the moment when I was in it, that was really hard to see. I didn't deserve to be cheated on and I didn't deserve the way he treated me, and I'm glad that that's over. I'm also incredibly grateful that Damien does not make me feel awful. They have no concern about betrayal. I don't think he's going to cheat on me or lie to me because he's proven that he's not that kind of person.
“You know what we have to do. I think we're going to throw another party and invite him,” Ben says.
Amy laughs at him. “Another one?” she asks.
He nods, very serious all of a sudden. “Another one.”
“A party? A party for what?” I ask, confused. Is he really suggesting that they throw me a party because I was intimate with someone? I consider myself a strange person, but that's a little too weird even for me.
“A party to celebrate your new relationship, of course.” Ben pulls the wine opener out of my drawer and pops the cork on the bottle. Amy lets me go and makes her way over to the microwave, grabbing a bowl before dumping the bag into the glassware. Cass continues studying me like I’m some specimen and she’s searching for answers.
“Relationship. No, we're not official. We're just seeing one another.”
Cass laughs. “No, he has a point. I think we should celebrate anything we can, especially after Jake.”
I reach out and take the glass of wine that Ben offers me with a thankful smile.
“I have no doubt that he will make it official soon, because he's definitely crazy about you,” Ben says.
“What makes you think that?” I ask, sipping the fruity white wine as I meet his gaze over the rim of the glass.
“Well, I mean, who wouldn't be crazy about you? You're absolutely amazing,” Amy says, carrying the popcorn bowl into the living room.
I feel flattered by my friends’ words and opinions of me.
“I'll reach out to both of you, and we'll plan this together, okay?” Ben gestures between Cass and Amy with his index finger, and both nod at him in agreement.
“I don't even get a say in this?” I ask, both amused and stunned.
Ben looks at me and tilts his head as if he's looking over nonexistent glasses. “Oh sure, what would you like the theme to be?”
Well, it's something, I guess. I lift my shoulders. “The movie Titanic, I guess?” I mean, we met on a cruise ship. Maybe he'll find it endearing and adorable. Or he will finally realize that I am weird and have been weird all along, and he won't want to see me anymore.”
With that unsettling thought, their words and plans fade into the background. My friends are very silly and sweet, but deep down, I feel something else. Internally, I'm torn between this hopeful, optimistic feeling that maybe Damien's the right person for me and the absolute fear that he's going to discard me the same way Jake did and find someone new.
This is the problem with rebound relationships - I haven't had a chance to heal from what Jake did to me, but here I am already falling head over heels for someone new.
But is it real?
Everything I know about Damien indicates it is, but what if I'm wrong? What if I get hurt again? But what if I'm right and he's the man that will make me happy for the rest of my life? As I think about him, I smile. I can't wait to see him again.
But as much as I want to tell him how I feel, I worry how he'd receive the news. What if he doesn't feel as strongly about me as I feel about him? What if I tell him I have feelings for him, and he laughs at me and says he doesn't feel that way for me? Sure, he said he really likes me, but there's a big difference between liking someone and having real, legitimate, deep feelings for them.
We haven't been together long enough to be in love, have we?
And if we haven't been together long enough to be in love, then what is this I feel? Even with these unsettling thoughts swirling round and round, I realize I'm happy and peaceful, enjoying this moment of bliss with my friends while thinking about the man I care about. Life is good, and I feel like it's only about to get better.
A little while later, we firmly settle into game night. With the Scrabble board in front of us, I stare down at my letters, biting my lower lip and trying to think of a word. The doorbell rings and Ben leaps to his feet to go answer it for the pizza delivery.
Next to me, Cass finishes her wine, studying her own letters, and Amy gives us both a covert smile that leaves me worried what she's going to do next. Amy is too good at this game - it makes me feel almost ashamed. But it's all in good fun and I'm still enjoying myself.
Ben walks back in with the pizza and I play the word quartz.
Amy nods her head as if she's impressed as Cass pulls out three letters and spells the word boob . I almost spit wine out of my nose as I laugh, and Ben walks over with two boxes of pizza, asking what he missed.
I speak up. “You missed boobs.”
“Uh, boob ,” Amy says, correcting me as Ben chuckles.
“Sounds about like my luck,” he says.
“You can say whatever you want. You're all just jealous that I have boob and you don't,” Cass says, making us all laugh as we dig into the pizza. Once again, I'm glad that we don't keep score. We just play for fun and the memories. It's not about winning. It’s about being present, being friends, and just enjoying ourselves.
“Well, I hate to upstage Cass’ boob,” Ben says as he puts his tiles up, spelling fart with the t in my quartz.
We all share another round of laughter. I can't help but wonder how Damien would feel if he was here right now, playing this game with us. Would he be absolutely disgusted or laughing with us?
“That's it. I quit,” Cass says, and we all laugh again before calling out our next choice of games the way we always do.
Both Ben and I call out Crabs Adjust Humidity - a play on Cards against Humanity, and we settle in for fun and insanity.
A half hour later, we're all winding down, and I stare at the latest board game. It's one that Amy brought, and we're supposed to figure out who killed the victim and why. Since we all love murder mysteries and this one's fun and challenging, the debate has been lively. But as I think about Damien 's past, I feel a chill run down my spine.
This feels less like a game and more like the real life struggle he's going through trying to get answers. It's hard knowing that the man that I'm falling for is still trying to figure out who killed his father, or if his father's death was an accident. I still can't imagine what it must feel like living with the weight of that. Not to mention the fact that he's been blown off by law enforcement and told that it was just an accident, even though his gut tells him otherwise.
If his father was murdered at the company Damien now works at, and the killer was never caught, is his life in danger? My stomach twists as if the pizza and wine there wants to come back up when I swallow hard.
“You don't look like you're having fun anymore,” Ben says, leaning in and speaking quietly in my ear.
I shake my head, not sure how to tell him the complicated news. I'm wondering what I'd even say. How do you tell someone that the person you're dating thinks that his dad was murdered, but doesn't have any proof?
Even now, my heart breaks in my chest for him. “It was the janitor,” I say. All of my friends look at me with curiosity and I run them through my line of thinking. “If the murder happened after hours and no employee key cards were swiped and the only person with actual keys is the janitor, then it must have been him.”
Of course, I'm discounting the CEO being the murderer.
“Or what about the CEO? He also had keys.” Cass sounds unconvinced.
“Well, of course, he had keys, and I feel like the game really wants us to believe it was him,” I say, breaking down my logic as everyone listens to me. “But here's the thing. He has the most to lose because of the murder. The office will have to be shut down, pending investigation. He's going to lose business, he's going to lose money.”
“And the janitor will lose his job,” Cass says, eyeing me carefully.
I shake my head. “That's the beauty of it. Even if the place is shut down and not making money, the janitor is still going to be a necessary part of the day-to-day function because the place has to stay clean. Even if no one's in it. He will only have to avoid the room where the actual murder took place.”
My friends all look at the board, puzzling over what I've said.
“I think she's right,” Ben says.
“Same,” Amy says.
But Cass doesn't seem convinced.
“Look, I know the CEO is always the bad guy, but I think in this case it is just the janitor. They really want you to believe it's the CEO.”
“But what motive does the janitor have?”
“The oldest motive in the book. He has a crush on the secretary. It's always love or money, right?” As soon as I said those words, a cold sensation rushes over me and I gasp.
It’s always love or money.
More than ever, I want to share Damien’s story with my friends just to get their perspective. But is it really my story to share? I worry that if I tell them too much, I'll make him uncomfortable when he finds out they know. He's too important to me to not respect his privacy and feelings.
But I also can't help but wonder - what if talking it out with my friends helps me get to the bottom of what really happened? I know that this game isn't real life, but I’ve seen enough true crime to know that it’s always money or love. So maybe we can piece together some clue that’ll give Damien closure.
He deserves that. And I think he’d forgive me no matter what I do.
And I think the single most important thing to think about is the fact that a vast majority of murders are carried out by people we know who are close to us. And that might mean considering people Damien isn't willing to look at like suspects.
Maybe starting with Cameron. He'd been so dead set against the possibility that Cameron might have had something to do with his father's death. But it's clear that Cameron has some kind of vendetta against him.
I make a split decision and decide to open up to my friends about it. I clear my throat and say, “Guys, can I talk to you about something?”
“Of course, anything,” Amy says.
“It's about Damien or Damien's dad, I guess.” I feel slightly uncomfortable sharing this information, but I remind myself, these are my friends and they want what's best for me and by extension, what's best for the man in my life.
They all perk up and I sense they're listening very carefully. “His dad was found dead at the company he works at.”
Amy gasps and the other two stare at me as if unsure what I’m saying.
“That’s not funny, Zoe,” Cass says.
“I'm not joking. He thinks his dad was murdered, but the cop said that it was just an accident.”
“Wow,” Ben says, breathing out and staring at the pizza boxes.
“Well, if the cops said it was just an accident...” Amy says.
“But Damien doesn't think it was, and he hasn't been able to get closure.”
My friends all look at the board game, then at me. “That's horribly tragic, but I don't think that playing this murder mystery game is enough to make us amateur detectives,” Cass says, ever the realistic one of the group.
“I know that, but I'm just wondering if maybe we can try to solve it or see if we can find any information that might be helpful just to bring him some closure.” I'm not really sure what I'm looking for because Cass is right; we're not detectives. Maybe it was silly of me to say anything.
“Well, I could always call my cop boyfriend and ask him.” As Amy says the words, everyone around the table stares at her with their mouths open.
“What?” she says, shrugging her shoulders. “I don't tell you guys everything. Did you guys see how you responded to the news that Zoe was sleeping with Damien? You're all a bunch of crazy bitches.” Her humor diffuses the moment.
“You're dating a cop?” Ben sounds absolutely stunned.
“A girl's gotta have secrets.” As she says the words, she pulls out her phone and sends a quick text. “We've been dating for a couple of months,” she says. A moment later, her phone rings.
“Hey, babe, I need a favor,” she says as she puts him on speaker phone.
“A favor, huh? What do you need?”
“For you to keep it clean, you're on speakerphone.” He lets out a terse chuckle at her words.
“No promises, but I’ll do my best.”
She rolls her eyes, but I see the joy and humor in her expression and know she really likes this guy. “Can you tell me anything about the death of a Mr. Black?”
There's a pause at the other end of the line. “Of Black Industries?”
“That's the one,” Amy says.
“Why do you want to know about that?” His tone changes in an instant, and I see her blink in surprise.
“Because his son is Zoe’s boyfriend, and he believes his father was murdered even though everyone says that the death was accidental.” I can tell that she's a lot more intrigued by his response to this accidental death. Why would he be on guard if it was an accident and there was nothing to talk about?
“Zoe's boyfriend? As in our Zoe?” he asks.
“Yep.” The glance she gives me tells me that she has told him almost everything, which I'm fine with.
He sighs and says, “Amy, you know I'm not supposed to talk about work stuff.”
“But it's not a crime, just an accidental death, right? So there's no reason not to talk about it.” She says the words with a terse smile and a glance at me. “Besides, it's important.”
He sighs again. “You can't tell anyone I said this.”
“Cross my heart,” I say.
“The truth is, that case never sat well with me or anyone else. It was very, very messy, mysterious. There were no witnesses, no suspects, no motives. The only evidence was his body.”
“Are you saying you think he was killed somewhere else and moved there?” I ask, stunned by the revelation.
“I can't say that, just that the crime scene itself was odd.” As he says the words, Amy nods her head, agreeing with me. “By the way, it's nice to meet you, Zoe and friends. I'm Ryan.”
“It sounds like you've heard a lot about us, but we haven't heard a lot about you, so I'm looking forward to getting to know you,” I say.
“Over my dead body,” Amy says, then scans our faces. “I'm not giving you guys a chance to ruin something this good. He's a good guy and you might scare him off.”
“He doesn't seem like the type to be easily scared by anything,” I say.
“The crime scene itself was very inconsistent. The reports given by the officers on the scene were inconsistent, and the paramedics even recorded conflicting accounts.” Ryan sounds like he doesn't believe anything about the case.
“Do you have anything concrete you can give me that I could maybe pass on to a PI?” I ask, feeling hopeful.
“I just might. Give me some time. I’ll have Amy pass what I have along to you. But again, don’t say anything,” he says.
“You sound like a good cop who just wants the truth to be known, and I'm sure as hell not going to get you fired for that,” I say. “And thank you so much, I appreciate this.” As I say the words, my heart does a happy little dance in my chest as I realize I might finally be able to help Damien get some closure in his father’s death.