Chapter Sixteen
Damien
I sit behind my desk, looking over the city skyline through the floor to ceiling windows.
It's a beautiful view, but one that I don't have time to enjoy. And if I did have the time to enjoy it, I'd wish that Zoe was here beside me. Although I wish she was here beside me regardless.
I glance at my computer. There's a lot of work I should be doing and a lot of problems to solve. One of those problems is my brother Cameron. He's moved on to sending me threatening messages and emails, promising to ruin me and my company. I'm not sure why he suddenly seems so desperate to make my life miserable, but I’m tired of letting him have access to me.
He's trying to spread lies and rumors about me and the company, and has also been trying to poach my clients and employees. He's been working hard to sabotage my deals and current projects.
He's doing everything in his power to make me fail.
The problem is, he's not the first person to do something like this to me, and I highly doubt he'll be the last.
I'm too damn stubborn to fail.
There's a knock at my door and I shift my gaze in time to see my assistant Felicity walk in. Her blonde hair is gathered back into a ponytail that leaves her low-cut blouse unobscured. Her short skirt dangerously rides up her thighs, and I resist the urge to tell her to please go change.
The last thing I need is to be cancelled for sexual harassment. Even though I don't find her attractive and I'm not interested in her, it is still distracting for her to walk around the office showing off so much skin. I am all for body positivity but in the workspace, it’s an unwelcome distraction for her breasts to be nearly spilling out of her clothing. To make matters worse, I’m certain people talk, But I kind of have my hands tied. If I keep her on, they're going to assume what they’re going to assume. If I fire her, people will talk even more.
“I should have brought coffee; you look tired this morning,” she says with a bright smile.
“I'm fine, thank you.” I'd much rather focus on the file in her hand.
I can tell by the way she looks me over that she's trying to decide which personal questions she wants to rapid fire at me now, as if I’ll open up at this time and share my feelings with her or that I'll confide in her. She wants to get closer to me. I don't want that. I don't want to let anyone here to get close to me.
While she's gathering her thoughts, my attention strays back to the city through the windows. I can't help but think of the night that Zoe and I spent here together, looking out at the stars and twinkling lights of the city. That one night I'd been able to ignore the stress and pressure that comes with running my company and I'd just been able to lose myself in her presence and be here with her.
I want that comfort and relaxation back.
“Damien?” The way Felicity says my name tells me she said it several times already.
“Yes?” I ask. I want to get up and walk over to the windows and watch the hustle and bustle of day-to-day life far below. But for now, I need to focus on business.
She seems to forget what she wanted to say and scans my office with a frown. “Damien, are you sleeping here?”
“Is there some reason you feel like you should be privy to that information?” I ask.
Her expression doesn't change. “There's no need to get snippy, Damien. I'm just worried about you. It's not healthy for you to stay shut in as much as you do or work as hard as you do. That's why I wanted you to go on vacation so you could get out and get away for a little while and take a break from work.”
She says the words like a mother speaking to an errant child and I find myself annoyed. It's not an endearing trait, and I wish she’d save the maternal attitude. “I don’t think I need or requested your non-professional opinion about how I live my life.”
“Like I said, Damien, there's no need to get short tempered or angry with me. I'm just worried about you and I have your best interests in mind.” She makes her way toward my desk, her gaze locked on me. “If you are not here, who will sign my paychecks?”
“Most likely whoever bought the company,” I say.
She sighs and takes a seat across the desk from me. “That's just it, Damien. You're a good boss. I don't want someone else to come in and take your place. It's not healthy to live and breathe this place. You need to get some rest in a real bed. You need to get out of this office and see something other than these four walls.”
“I am fine, Felicity, but I appreciate your concern.” I don't have the energy to put up with this constant barrage of judgment about how I live my life. I'm about ready to tell her to leave my office when she sets the file folder she brought in on my desk and places three fingers on top of it before sliding it across to me. Her gaze never leaves mine.
“I think you're making a mistake and I worry that your mistakes will cost you this company.” She says the words slowly and succinctly.
I echo back her cadence. “That's not going to happen, Felicity.”
Her eyebrows lift as if she does not believe me, but she removes her fingers from the file and I pick it up. “What about your brother? Do you have any idea what Cameron has planned next?”
I try to bury my annoyance and glance at her.
She seems full of nervous anger and energy and stands up, pacing my office. “Damien, don't you see what's happening? Your brother's trying to take over your company, he's trying to ruin you, and he's trying to hurt you, and you're opening the door and letting him in.” She throws her hands up as I try to focus back on the reports in the folder.
“Are you even listening to me?” she asks, stalking back over to my desk and planting both hands on the metal and leaning toward me.
I don't bother looking up at her. “You’re treading on dangerous ground.”
“I'm trying to help you.” She sounds frustrated and upset, but she's just not getting it. If my brother manages to take my company from me, I never deserved to have it in the first place. But beyond any of that, my brother is not a better businessman than I am and no matter what dirty tactic he resorts to, he's not going to be able to take over my company.
She goes back to pacing and I find myself annoyed with her antics. Does she think that I don't know what he's doing? Does she think that I'm stupid or blind? My father made this company, but I'm the one that's been in the trenches every day, digging it out and building it up. I'm the one that has almost single handedly made it the success it is. And if she honestly thinks that I am concerned about Cameron, then she hasn't been paying attention.
She stops pacing for half a second and swivels her body to focus on me. “Why does he hate you so much?”
I have no idea why he hates me or why he feels such a right over toward me. The world is messy and not everyone just explains their reasoning. He feels like I don't deserve what I have. Or maybe he thinks dad's company should have gone to him. Perhaps he thinks that he's better than me, and legitimately thinks he could run this company better than I have or do.
“You'd have to ask him.” I'm tired of this run around she's giving me. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I'd like to focus on getting my work done for the day so that I can enjoy my time with Zoe later.
“He must have a reason. He must have told you something.” She's back to pacing while talking like a crime movie detective determined to break a case wide open. But there's nothing to break open; I don’t doubt this is simply a result of sibling rivalry, and he hates me because I'm his brother.
“I don't understand why you don't care about this.” She sounds even more frustrated, and I debate telling her to get out of my office. “Damien, you can't let him get away with this. You can't let him win.”
I stop and narrow my eyes at her, wondering if there's something she knows that I don't. With a deep sigh, I close my eyes and press my fingertips into my eyelids. “I'm not going to let him get away with anything.” I want to point out that she probably has work to do right now.
Felicity stares at me for a moment. “You seem different somehow. Happier.”
Well, that would make sense. I am happier. I've met someone who makes me happy. Even now, as I think about Zoe, a smile tugs the corners of my lips. I can't wait until all of this stress and pressure is over with so I can build a life with her, the life she deserves, and the life we both want.
“I met someone on the cruise.” As I say the words, her eyes widen, and her mouth opens into a perfect O of surprise.
“You met someone?” She sounds like she can't believe the news and all the fight seems to drain out of her.
I nod my head.
She seems to snap. “You know she’s probably after your money.”
I lift my eyebrows. What a horrendously awful thing to say. “Well, I certainly hope not. That would make things awkward.” I know Zoe isn't after my money; she is one of the few people who hasn't seemed to give a damn about it. Every step of the way, the only thing she's asked me for is my time. She doesn't want me to buy things for her. She's not asking for things. She doesn't suddenly have emergency bills she can't pay or any of the other manipulation tactics I’m used to watching out for. She genuinely enjoys my company.
“Oh, don't be naive, Damien.” She snaps the words at me, which is a surprise. There's more to her response than meets the eye, but I don't have the energy to decode her emotional response right now. “And don't you dare tell me you love her. You don't know her well enough to love her.”
Well, now I want to say the words just to annoy Felicity. I can't help but wonder where this is coming from, why she's so invested in my relationship with someone she doesn't know the first thing about. But her words do make me wonder if it's true; do I love Zoe?
I think about her smile and the way she makes me feel. I think about how much she has tried to help me learn the truth about my dad. I think about how every step of the way she's been nothing but supportive and kind. I think about her and my heart beats a little bit harder. I don't doubt her intentions. I don't wonder what she's after. She's perfectly transparent and has been every step of the way.
“I think you need to take a step back and focus on yourself and your company,” she says, turning to me and planting her hands on her hips. “And then maybe you can find love where you least expect it.”
“I am focused on myself and my company and my future and happiness.” I don't need her to tell me what I should do next. “Besides, I don't think you're in a position to give me love advice.”
As I say those words, she seems to deflate and walks over to the chair on the other side of my desk before sinking into it. Then, she seems to remember herself and sits upright, her back ramrod straight. “I know more about being in love than you think.”
I feel like those words are bait and I don't want to take them.
“Well, congratulations on whoever the lucky man in your life is.” The words seem like a safe, professional response. But, of course, nothing is ever that easy.
She smiles and reaches across the desk, putting her hand on mine. “It's you, Damien. You're the lucky man that I'm in love with.”
Without a word, I pull my hand out from under hers and open up the file in front of me, looking over the numbers and completely ignore what she's just said. “Thank you for bringing these reports by my desk,” I say, reading the numbers and expecting her to leave my office.
“Didn’t you hear me?” she asks. “I love you, Damien.”
“Felicity, I have a lot of work to do.” She has put me in an impossible position. I don't want to acknowledge what she said and damage our working relationship, but I can't help but feel that ship has sailed. “You are a wonderful assistant.” Maybe that gentle reminder will put her in her place and remind her that I'm her boss, not her boyfriend.
She doesn't even seem to process my words before there's a knock at the door.
“Come in,” I say.
Max peaks his head in. “Mr. Black, you have a visitor.”
No matter how many times I tell that man to call me Damien, he still calls me Mr. Black. And every time he does, I look around for my father.
Zoe steps into the room with a little wave at me. A smile. A smile that freezes on her face when she sees Felicity. She takes in her fitted black pants and teal blue sweater that brings out a reddish hue in her brown curls. Her huge hazel eyes dart from me to Felicity, then back again. She nervously shifts her brown bag from one arm to the other as I stand up.
She walks toward me and I pull her into my arms. She feels so good curled into me and smells like heaven; vanilla and cinnamon, brown sugar and honey. She’s positively mouthwatering and I press my lips to the top of her head as she speaks. “I'm sorry if I'm interrupting something,” she says with a glance at Felicity.
“Not at all. My assistant and I were just talking about her fears that Cameron is going to take over my company.” I guide her over to the couch in my office.
“But there's no way he's going to take your company. You told me you're too smart to fall for his tricks,” she says.
Felicity stands up and begins to pace once more. I wish she would just leave my office, but she doesn't seem to have any intention to go anywhere.
“Am I interrupting your work?” Zoe sounds concerned and I shake my head. There are reports I should probably be looking at, but I'm not too worried about them. In the grand scheme of things, reading them now or reading them later doesn't really change anything.
“So how did movie night with your friends go yesterday?” I ask.
Felicity lifts her head, and I have no doubt that she's going to use that statement to tell me Zoe is cheating on me. But I'm not worried about what Zoe does in her downtime. I have no concerns that she's going to betray me. I know she's not a cheater and given how heartbroken she'd been when Jake cheated on her, I know that she doesn't have it in her to do that to me.
“We actually played a ton of games and had a lot of fun and everybody wished that you could be there.” Her words surprise me. Her friends would like me to be an addition to their lives too? As someone with no real friends of my own, beyond the body that I catch up with once a year, it seems strange to me that I have a group of people wanting me to be part of their lives.
“Well, maybe we'll have to make that happen next movie night.” At my words, she blinks and nods her head.
I notice her gaze tick to Felicity once more as she lets out a breath and opens her mouth like she wants to say something. “There’s something else I want to talk to you about, but maybe later.”
Felicity clears her throat and notably says, “Ahem.”
Both Zoe and I turn to look at her and I wonder what she’s about to say or do. “So you met on the cruise ship?” she says, standing up and making her way over to us. She stares down at Zoe like she's comparing the two of them and finding Zoe lacking.
“We did. I called him out for drinking first thing in the morning... while sipping my mimosa.” She has the grace to look embarrassed, but her smile is absolutely adorable.
The look Felicity gives me is less than adorable; she looks disgusted. I can't help but wonder if she's forgotten the times that she and I have shared a drink right here in this office on tough days. Of course, now I know that those moments meant a lot more to her than they did to me, because I thought we were a couple of work people sharing a drink about tough life moments, and she saw them as a chance to fall in love and convince herself I must be doing the same. Well, she was wrong.
“She's the reason I mostly stopped working while on the cruise.” I wind an arm around her shoulders, possessively pulling her closer, and Felicity’s eyebrows drop low and angry over her pretty eyes. “I wanted to be fully present with her, and she convinced me to have fun.”
“Oh, she convinced you to have fun.” I can tell Felicity is seething under it all. “So, what else do you guys have in common besides day drinking?”
Zoe blinks. “Actually, I don't really day drink. It was just kind of me being my vacation self on the cruise. You bring up a valid point. I was worried that once Damien got to know who I am when I'm not on vacation, he wouldn't like me as much, but it seems like quite the opposite has happened.”
I give her a gentle squeeze. “I like both versions of you. Honestly, I haven't seen a facet of you that I don't like yet.”
“That's so sweet,” she says, gazing up into my eyes with a loving expression that makes my heart thump double time. “I don’t know how to describe it, but we also have this... connection .”
I know exactly what she means and I feel the same way.
But Felicity lets out a snort. “Okay. A connection. Cute.”
It's been half an hour since Felicity left us alone in the office and I watch Zoe take a bite of her Pad Thai, her eyes closing with delight. I'd ordered in food so that we could enjoy spending our time here together.
Neither of us have spoken about our run in with Felicity, and that's fine with me. I'm done thinking about her other than to consider whether or not I should offer to let her resign or fire her. As I watch Zoe, I feel a flood of affection for her. There's something so sweet and so kind about her; she didn't even seem to notice Felicity’s snarky attack.
“This is so good,” she says.
I want to ask her what she wanted to talk about without Felicity in the room, but I don’t want to push her. I think she's absolutely amazing, inspiring, and supportive, and I’m impressed by her every time we interact. I don’t want to ruin that.
If I'm being completely honest, she's everything I ever wanted and more.
But I don't know how to tell her how I feel about her. I still worry that it's too soon. After all, she was so recently cheated on by her ex-boyfriend Jake, and the two so recently split up. I'm afraid that she's going to rebuff me and say that this is just a rebound relationship for her and that it's not as serious as I feel. It's really unlike me to develop feelings at all, let alone develop feelings as quickly as I have.
I worry if I tell her now that I'd like her to be a permanent fixture in my life that I'll scare her away.
So for now, I'm going to keep that bit of information to myself.
She crosses her curvy legs on the couch and digs into the bottom of her cardboard container with chopsticks, getting every last bite. I can't help but smile at her enthusiasm. With every breath I inhale the spice and sweetness of our food and the delicious smell of Zoe.
Now that she is here, I feel like I could take on the world.
I'm not worried about what Cameron is doing or planning next, I have no concern about Felicity's behavior, I'm just happy to be here with Zoe. And that thought gives me an idea.
“Hey, would you like to go somewhere exotic with me?” We both just got back from vacation, but if it's possible, I'd like to take her somewhere new, just the two of us. I want a break from all the stress and drama.
She looks at me with a playful smile. “What are you talking about?”
“I want to take you somewhere. Hawaii, Bali, Fiji, I don't care. Just somewhere far away from here. Just the two of us.” As I say the words, she sits upright, an expression of concern crossing her face.
“Is everything okay?”
I nod my head. “I just want to get away from the stress and the pressure dealing with Cameron, thinking about my father's stuff. I want to just spend time with you.”
“That's really sweet, Damien,” she says, her gaze darting back and forth between mine, “but in my experience, it's better to face our problems rather than run from them. Because if you start running now, you'll never stop.”
Of course, I know she's right.
“You're too smart,” I say, leaning in and kissing the tip of her nose. Again, I find myself wanting to tell her how I really feel about her. Instead, I simply say, “I’m so glad you’re here.”
Her eyebrows furrow, but the playful look never leaves her expression. “In your office or in your life?”
I nod in agreement. “Yes.”
Her beautiful smile widens as she places her cardboard box on the little coffee table I’d moved in front of the couch to serve as a place to arrange our lunch. The second her hands are free, I pull her into my arms.
“Zoe, look at me,” I say and her gaze meets mine. “I don't even know how to express how grateful I am that you came into my life. You inspire me to be a better man.”
She makes a little noise that's a cross between a hiss and a snort. “Oh, come on, Damien. You are a good man with or without my influence.”
That's where she's wrong, but I'm not sure how to tell her that she is the difference in my life. She allows me to be the good person she sees. Everyone else requires me to be something else. Someone else.
I’m a good man for her...
Only her.